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Thanksgiving: The Yin & The Yang

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It always has been. Sure, as a kid, getting presents was nice, but Thanksgiving was always my top choice. Maybe it's because my family didn't treat it like other holidays. Spending it with family wasn't a necessity and turkey, while prevalent, wasn't always a mainstay. Spiral ham? I never tasted one until about seven years ago and I've probably had it once since.

Thanksgiving was a time to spend with those who really mattered in our lives and we're an honest family; that didn't always mean relatives.  We usually took in our friends who had nowhere else to go due to location issues or simple bad breaks.  These were the people who were there for us during the year, so why not be with them on a day of giving thanks.  Most people just gather around and eat the staples, overeat, gossip, watch football and get drunk. That was never us. Still isn't really.  So here are my highs and lows of Thanksgiving.

Good: It's a day filled with my favorite pastime - eating
Bad: There is always too much food to actually enjoy everything.

Good: The results of all the cooking.
Bad: The dishes as a result of all the cooking.

Good: Most meals take me no more than a half hour to cook and take me ten minutes to eat.
Bad; This meal takes ten hours to cook and is over in 30 minutes.

Good: Dressing (Stuffing goes in the bird) with sausage, fresh cranberry sauce, bacon mashed potatoes, veggies and pecan pie.
Bad: Turkey and gravy

Good: Seeing my father, brother, grandmother, and sister in law and friends of the family.
Bad: In the past, seeing my cousins, aunts and uncles.

Good: Delicious cheeses, pate, stuffed mushrooms and wine.
Bad: Never leaving enough room for dinner.

Good: No religious connotation involved, so it's never even brought up.
Bad: That one person who makes everyone feel awkward and wants to say Grace (not any more).

Good: People truly being thankful for what they have and why we're together.
Bad: This lasting one day and people not knowing we committed genocide against the people who actually "discovered" America.

Good: The amount of food, wine, and humor taken in.
Bad: The amount of food wasted - this issue is dear to my heart.

Good: The odd dinner the night before where you try and pace yourself.
Bad: The odd day after where you try and convince yourself you actually want the same food.

Good: Hearing about reasons others are thankful.
Bad: Hearing about Black Friday.

Good: That moment when everyone is finally seated and you can really enjoy.
Bad: That moment when everyone is done and you realize you're doing the dishes.

Good: The sight of all the food waiting to be eaten.
Bad; The sight of all the food that wasn't eaten.

Good: Appreciating who is with you.
Bad: Missing those who aren't.

Today, my father handed my a 20-25 page eulogy of sorts, comprised of stories written by about a dozen people, in remembrance of a dear friend and co-worker of his.  Lee, was a quiet man, who for most of his later life, lived alone.  He was a wonderful friend to my my family and he spent countless Thanksgivings with us. He, coupled with another friend, James have since passed.  It's been many years since they shared our table, as it's been since my mother was there.  In those years, my mother would cook a feast, sometimes including a turkey, but at other times, a goose, squab, game hens or pheasant and all the trimmings.  We never started early and the evenings would run on into the wee hours. I learned more during those meals than I ever did in school.  My parents surrounded themselves and their children with intelligent people the likes I don't know anymore.  Most of them are now gone and a huge part of me has left with them.  Thanksgiving is still a wonderful time and a joyous time, but as time passes and the years take the ones we love, it gets harder.  We try to fill the voids with new face, through birth, marriage or friendship, but the bonds we grew are severed by age and disease.  It leaves us with one last yin and one last yang.

Good; Memories of those who aren't with us.
Bad: Memories because of those who aren't with us.

I hope all of you had a joyous and Happy Thanksgiving and may all those who sat with you this year, be there for next.





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