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Long Day/Life

I am angry and know that sleep will escape me as it has all week.  Two hours a night the last two nights, two cat naps, that actually rejuvenated me, but still, my body feels fatigued.  I'm angry at what I feel is a lack of respect.  A common courtesy was not paid to me and I feel I deserved it.  I feel anyone would. You live somewhere for eight years.  You pay rent in advance on occasion, two, sometimes three months in advance. You deal with outlets not working, holes and leaks in the ceiling that mysteriously never get fixed and then you forget to send your rent in one month and you're served court papers. No phone call asking where the rent is, but a court document.  Here's the kicker.  They apologized for the mistake, but now want me to pay for the deposition.  $300.  What is my recourse?  My rent was late, but give me a break.

This combined with the crazy cost of getting too and from work is killing me.  So far this week, I've spent $90 to get two and from four miles away.  Tomorrow will be another $30.  It's killing me and my wallet.  I can't afford it and have even considered renting a car, although the costs would be the same.  There would be some freedom and I'd have the car 24/7 not just eight minutes a day.

I had one, well two bright spots today.  I watched one good movie and one great movie.  I'll delve into those tomorrow with a fresh head.  I look forward to a baseball game and hanging with a friend tomorrow.  We haven't hung out in a bit and I miss her. Should be fun.  I'm considering staying Friday and saving myself for the basketball games on Saturday.

I think once this weekend is over, I'm going to take a bit of a party animal hiatus.  My body feels like it's breaking down. I don't feel good and I need to go into a little bit of a detox mode.  I think I might even go a little towards the vegetarian side for a week or two.  Maybe add some bacon just for shits and giggles, but we'll see.  I need to flush out the last few months. Maybe start meeting people for coffee or tea.  Maybe catch a movie (nah!).  Maybe start writing, like I've promised myself for the last three years.

I have seven more weeks of my school gig and then I'm done. I need to find some work.  Some serious work. What are my options.  No degree. Can barely stand for more than two hours at a time.  I'm worried. Time is taking it's toll on me and I'm not slowing it down.  I know the proverbial hammer is about to drop and I need some protection.  I need to find a new motivation. Maybe the cat that is waiting for me to clean my damn apartment will make me want to give it a better life.  A gold rattle to play with.  Maybe some Sheba instead of friskies. Or maybe for once I'll start being serious.  I'll figure it out tomorrow. Right now I just hope my neighbor who slams his door shut decides to take the morning off.  I hope my super with booming voice goes to his other job.  I hope the woman who feels it necessary to have full phone conversations right outside my door, waits til she arrives at work.  I hope the person who hasn't figured out how a buzzer system works decides to ring any buzzer but mine.  All I want is four solid hours.  That's not a lot to ask....is it?

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