Skip to main content

Sorry I Forgot Your Birthday Mom!

Mom died at the much too young age of 62. On Monday, she would have been 72. Ten birthdays and each one I've had a moment, spoken to her and told her I missed her and on most occasions, made a toast to her memory.  This Monday, my personal woes, my ineptitude in handling certain things intelligently and my overall dissatisfaction with this new year, caused me to forget.

I woke up Tuesday morning and it as the first thing I thought of. Sadness, regret and a little bit of shame overcame me. As the week has gone by, it's gnawed at me. It's caused me to feel a little lost. I think it's because she had always been my rock and I needed her, but couldn't and it caused my mind to become cloudy. She'd of course forgiven me by now and I'd have made it up by making her laugh, but I don't have those realities anymore. I only have memories, do to forget brings me immense sadness.

Time alone always takes me back to better times, but also to worse. To her failing health, but to her powerful will. I suffer life's bump and they are growing bigger and bigger, starting to feel insurmountable and then I think of how she laughed at her six months to live diagnosis and battled on four years. But then, I think of the reality, in the end it won. Monday was a reminder of the fact even the strongest lose sometimes. I just hope I can battle as she did and return to a time when memories were good. All good.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

White Privilege

This was a post I wrote on Facebook after surprisingly not seeing any moaning about the Documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas, titled White People Dayyum! I just scrolled my timeline and not a single white person got their feelings hurt by White People. I unfortunately haven't seen it, but the number of fake accounts that popped up on twitter, tells me it was a damn good show. Here's the thing. If someone of color aka non-white says "White Privilege," are you offended? If you said yes, then you are exhibiting white privilege. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or study, how you stayed out of trouble, because here's the thing, that is entirely the point. Somewhere out there, there are 100 Black, Spanish, Native American, Arab, Asian, who worked and studied as hard as you and never got in trouble, but they don't have what you "earned" or achieved. Stop looking at the one person you know who isn't white that achieved as your benchmark. Loo...
10 comments
Read more

Quickie Review - Finding Vivian Maier

While I thoroughly enjoyed the film, especially the first 15-20 minutes, I was a little bothered by the way the film played out. The interviews with the clearly disturbed brother, sister and the mother, who obviously, was in for a cut, didn't need to be in the film. Then the woman who suggested abuse, yet seemed to have her life defined by Maier, as she tried to muster every ounce of emotion and fake guilt. Her friend, more than happy to be party of the charade. People who talk about abuse for the first time, usually don't do so on camera. The fact these scenes were so prominent, shows that they felt wronged that they were not rewarded. Maloof on the other hand, seems to disappear from the documentary during this part, almost hiding away from the fact, he went from complete praise, to even making money off of her, to destroying her personal legacy. He almost mentions the family of boys taking care of her rent, as an afterthought. Her burial spot, never shown, yet a video of her...
7 comments
Read more

If You Listen To One Speech - Lana Wachowski

http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/videos/lana-wachowski-opens-up-about-difficult-past-and-attempted-suicide-20121024 Today I saw a link to a video for a speech by Lana Wachowski.  The last name rung a bell, but I could't put my finger on it. Lana, used to be Larry, one of the writer, director, producers of the Matrix trilogy, V for Vendetta and the upcoming Cloud Atlas.  Lana is transgendered and has "come out" as a woman.  She was being honored by the Human Rights Campaign. I didn't know what to expect when this broad woman with crazy hair and a raspy voice began to speak.  She began with the usual pleasantries and told of her hair dresser. She then tells of her desire to be a quiet person and how hard the success of the Matrix movies made this.  The first ten minutes is telling of how she's not quite ready to be this spokesperson.  Then she speaks about the new movie Cloud Atlas and reveals the heart of the movie and this speech. She states,"The resp...
Post a Comment
Read more