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Free Writing - Take 64

A one handed catch and then another one. Snow Snow Snow. It's all anyone can talk about. Kid lies dead in the middle of the street and we talk more about uncontrollable weather events. Was it always like this or have our minds become mush? I see people posting, those I called friends, with so much hate in their hearts, that it almost makes me wish they could feel that pain, just briefly. The autumn chill turned to springtime today. I walked outside, took a deep breath, but it smells like winter. The party is over and on to the next. The turkey, hen, squab or duck. What will we have? Who knows? Who cares? I wish my brother would walk in that door and say he's done. He's back and I wish I could walk without pain. I wish my mother was here and my grandmother....scratch that, maybe not together, haha! I look forward to shoveling snow. Funny. I've stayed in almost every day, missing the warmth. Missing the beautiful foliage. Missing it, but not. The snow, I will embrace. Everyone walks like I do in the winter. No stares. I feel so much for those who are disabled, who must endure the stares of judgment, so much more than pity or sympathy. I empathize, but don't pretend to know their pains of knowing it can never change. I hope for it and know one day, whether I can afford it or not, it will have to be done. I can't live like this. Looking at an older blog, from two Thanksgivings ago and reading about my daily walks. I miss them so. Even then, pain in my knees and back, but not this crippling pain. Not this agony. Look at me, complaining of my physical pain, while people starve, look for shelter and die in the streets. How about that storm we're going to get? Might make someone late or so I hear. Problems like that makes you wonder, how people will ever deal with loss.

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