My 1001 Entry

Let me start by saying, I realize nobody reads this and blogs are very 2010.

Yes, it's #1001. I didn't realize that my hate piece on Linklater's Boyhood was my millennial moment and thus missed the chance to pop the bubbly. So if you figure each blog takes about ten minutes, that's close to 150 hours of my life, dedicated to writing things that basically nobody gives a shit about. I started out trying to be funny and thoughtful, turned combative and snarky, devolving into a self-help diary that did nothing but further my problems. I use it now, mostly to just jot down thoughts and give shitty reviews for movies, because despite being told I should elaborate more, I despise anyone who feels the need to tell others what happens in a movie or how to decipher it, before seeing it for themselves. Now I'm just telling you what I do in something you already don't read.

This started back in March of 2009 at a time when I was going through much of the same bullshit I find myself in now. Only difference was I was getting laid once in a while, had friends to hang out with and didn't find that every morning the sun decided to take a sabbatical. The current weather is a perfect metaphor for my current state. Dark, dreary with a chance of complete isolation.

Don't get me wrong, it's not all bad. I have coffee, Netflix and hummus. People think I'm joking, but given an assortment of vessels for which to transport the hummus to my mouth, this could easily be my life for the rest of my days. I dislike idle chats about nothing and my perfect days when working fifty hours a week was to sit at home, coffee in hand and eat snacks and watch movies. Funny how in our darkest hours, if we step out of our own self deprecating bubble, we realize all we need is within us.

Now I'm not trying to become any sort of pretentious fuck knob like Chris McCandless and while I'd love to run into the wild, my wild would be without a rifle an rotting buffalo carcass and more simply a lack of people. I have those people who ask how I am and those who make me laugh and really, that, roasted beans and a carry around cinema is all I need. Truthfully.

I've though seriously of ending this, but the therapeutic qualities of being able to jot it down is one thing, but to share it is another. I don't know how many people read my stuff. I do know nobody reads it on the weekends and according to the counter, each one, might have, on average have been gazed at by 40 people on average, but I also know that the majority of the hits I get are perverts from other countries searching google for celebrity crushes. Yes, I'm that computer savvy that I know this.

I have thought of starting a new one and devoting it all to movies, but those are so cliche and a dime a dozen and even those who do it full time, I find are simply better at graphics than I. They all seem to fall into three categories, trying to sound smarter than everyone else, bashing everything that is popular or finding a way to make it about a cause (feminism, LGBT, racism, etc). I guess in some ways, I fall into the second, but I promise you, my hatred of mainstream is sincere.  I've also thought of diving into starting a culinary website, but with a catch. My only problem is I don't have the loot to cook things myself and I don't have the photography skills to make the food "pop." So sports? No real sports fan reads a blog, right?

So for now I'll continue. Do I post this now or wait til Monday, when someone might take a break from reading Oscar posts on Facebook, from someone who has seen none of the films, checking mine out for ten seconds, realizing it's personal and clicking the little X in the upper right hand corner? I'll post now and watch the hits climb to eight, maybe 12. Maybe this time a comment telling me to quit. Maybe I'll listen for once.