Skip to main content

Free Writing - Take 91

Yell! Scream! Hit inanimate objects! This is what we do when we're mad. It's been years since it's gotten to this, but it does happen. It used to happen more and at the end of the day, it's more frustration than anger. Sadly, it seems that my life has been filled this frustration and this is generally my release. Did it feel good? Not particularly when it happened, but afterwards, when I calmed down, stopped sweating and someone made me laugh; yes it did. It didn't matter that the object of my frustration won't change and probably didn't hear one word, because why would anyone change after 45 years (the span of my life) of selfishness. When someone expends so much energy making stories about one person, to make themselves feel better about their own inadequacies, there is not changing that person. I've been told I think I'm always right, but I actually don't. I just need someone to explain what is wrong and believe it or not, I say sorry and you're right a lot more than people think. I've apologized to people out of the blue in the past year, for things they weren't even really angry about and it's not to toot my own horn, but to let people know it's OK to be wrong, but when you're so wrong, you've changed your life, in a very short period of time, and that change has caused others misery, it's time to take stock. The worst part of this anger and frustration is it was foretold by someone who had to deal with it as long as I did and right down to what it was over about. Picking someone relatively insignificant to fawn over. It was a pattern, that apparently has been going on since childhood and I was warned again more recently, another deathbed confession of sorts. So today, one might think I would apologize for my actions; hell, I always have, but no, today, I'm going to stand firm and there is not a single regret and there won't be. Ever!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

White Privilege

This was a post I wrote on Facebook after surprisingly not seeing any moaning about the Documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas, titled White People Dayyum! I just scrolled my timeline and not a single white person got their feelings hurt by White People. I unfortunately haven't seen it, but the number of fake accounts that popped up on twitter, tells me it was a damn good show. Here's the thing. If someone of color aka non-white says "White Privilege," are you offended? If you said yes, then you are exhibiting white privilege. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or study, how you stayed out of trouble, because here's the thing, that is entirely the point. Somewhere out there, there are 100 Black, Spanish, Native American, Arab, Asian, who worked and studied as hard as you and never got in trouble, but they don't have what you "earned" or achieved. Stop looking at the one person you know who isn't white that achieved as your benchmark. Loo

Quickie Review - Finding Vivian Maier

While I thoroughly enjoyed the film, especially the first 15-20 minutes, I was a little bothered by the way the film played out. The interviews with the clearly disturbed brother, sister and the mother, who obviously, was in for a cut, didn't need to be in the film. Then the woman who suggested abuse, yet seemed to have her life defined by Maier, as she tried to muster every ounce of emotion and fake guilt. Her friend, more than happy to be party of the charade. People who talk about abuse for the first time, usually don't do so on camera. The fact these scenes were so prominent, shows that they felt wronged that they were not rewarded. Maloof on the other hand, seems to disappear from the documentary during this part, almost hiding away from the fact, he went from complete praise, to even making money off of her, to destroying her personal legacy. He almost mentions the family of boys taking care of her rent, as an afterthought. Her burial spot, never shown, yet a video of her

July Movies

Well, there have 213 days in 2015 and I've seen 213 movies. These are July's views and I must say, this month featured some of the best and worst movies I've ever seen. Sunrise will soon find a spot in my top 50 movies of all-time. Maybe even the top 25. True Detective: Season 1 was arguably one of the best things I've ever watched for a one season series. Only Top of the Lake was better. This month was also filled with some epic clunkers, including a well received movie which made an odd list.....one of the only films I've ever turned off before it was finished....Mr. Turner was so painfully dull, all the colors in the world couldn't save it. The Machine - Much better than anticipated look at AI v Humans, from multiple angles. Trouble Every Day - Poor attempt at artsy look at cannibalism. Gallo is painful to watch. Mr. Turner - For once, the word pretentious fits. Art film about artist made for artists. A Trip to the Moon - 1902 short, which plays almost