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Free Writing - Take 94

Sorry if you read this to start your day, it's been bothering me for weeks and just needed an outlet.

It's been a while since I've felt like sharing much. I've shared with a select few, but it seems there's so much anger and depression in the world, but when you point it out, or even the wonderful things, you're told you have problems, your conceited or even worse, you're depressed. A few months ago, it was spread a round, that I was suffering from depression. Anyone who knows me well, understands that I take mental instability very seriously. It's something that I think is overlooked and sometimes we miss the signs of those truly suffering.  What bothers me most, is the person who decided to tell people I am suffering from a real illness, battles alcohol each and every night. They don't believe they have a problem, but it has rendered them completely useless for about 15 hours a day. Sadly, I don't care about their problems anymore, because they've made their bed. Is that horrible? No it's not. You can only point out someone's problem and ask them to look in the mirror so many times. It's affected their routines, their relationships, their ability to function,  to remember the simplest details and most of all it's made them lose sight of their priorities. Alcohol isn't addictive, it's the personality of the drinker that is. Alcohol is the invisible crutch. People used to label me, but those that really know, understand that I never drank, not even once, to drown a problem, to ease the pain or to make life go away. I drank to have fun. When I drank, I laughed, smiled and talked. I didn't sit in the dark, moaning people's names, falling into walls or trying to forget some silly obsession. When I felt pain, I either faced it or turned to a quiet space, where I could be alone, in thought and with the clearest head possible. It's why when things are really bad for others, they turn to me and they don't only see my back or my head, face down in my own fears. Depression is real and I feel for those who suffer and I reach out when I think there is need. Alcoholism is real too, but you know when it goes away? When you stop drinking. When depression's cause is taken away, we lose a life. Don't ever use the term depression and lightly as you'd use alcoholic, whether you agree with my definitions or not. It is a dangerous mistake and one used all too often.

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