A long time ago, a friend suggested a free writing "therapy" experiment and over a long period of time, I cranked out 100 of them. Different time frames, different frames of mind, but it was always the simple act of jotting my thoughts down, without the confines of structure. I got away from it and ironically it coincided with a dark time in my life. So here it goes. I can't sleep, it's 4:46AM, so I'm going to ramble for nine straight minutes and see where I am in life, my mind, and sort of my writing.
GO!
Can't sleep, but not sure why. I'm tired, Swag is tired. He's a little confused by today. I should be tired. He rises, annoyed at my tapping and leaves the bedroom. Hunger will set in soon, for both of us. I finally have healthcare. Being poor long enough has afforded me this "luxury," yet from the news today, it will be short lived. I'm so angry with the country right now. Not because we have a republican, a celebrity or even a bigot in the White House, no that doesn't anger me, because we've had those before. What angers me now, is that for the first time in our GREAT nation's history, we have a man running the show who is, make no mistake, he's is, a moron. He's not a moron, because I disagree with him, he's a moron, because he lacks three things. Intelligent and rational thought, any expertise and worst of all, no desire to educate himself on the things he's lacking. I could go on, but I'm exhausted thinking about this man. So I wonder. Will my life be better in four years or will it be worse? Will it be over? It's a serious possibility that life as we know it could change. I've never been in a such a bad place in my life, as I have over the past three years, and it has nothing to do with any president. It has to do with something that happened, this time last year actually. A horrible mistake by another, an overreaction in my defense of a defenseless animal and then a letter. A letter by a woman named Judith Bernal, who is scarred, both physically and mentally by her own inadequacies, that she wrote a letter about me, to my own father, who praised it as "Gold.." This letter insinuated that I am a primate, infused with the devil. In this letter, she displayed all her life's failures, all her insecurities, all her pent up anger and projected them all onto me. And yes, my father, someone who I once thought a smart person showed, he lacked intelligence and rational thought, any expertise (in reading comprehension) and worse of all, any desire to educate himself....sound like someone else we know? He used, what our president used, and that's Cognitive dissonance.
Well I've gone over by a minute.So I'll stop here. Before anyone gets the wrong idea about me....my "threat" was a letter. Nothing physical. Simply a "do unto others, as you would have done unto you," type thing. Apparently treated people as they treat you, doesn't always work. Sadly, I don't believe in karma, because as well as I've treated most in my life, it's simply not been reciprocated. No matter how much I try to tell myself it doesn't matter. Sometimes it does. Most times actually.
GO!
Can't sleep, but not sure why. I'm tired, Swag is tired. He's a little confused by today. I should be tired. He rises, annoyed at my tapping and leaves the bedroom. Hunger will set in soon, for both of us. I finally have healthcare. Being poor long enough has afforded me this "luxury," yet from the news today, it will be short lived. I'm so angry with the country right now. Not because we have a republican, a celebrity or even a bigot in the White House, no that doesn't anger me, because we've had those before. What angers me now, is that for the first time in our GREAT nation's history, we have a man running the show who is, make no mistake, he's is, a moron. He's not a moron, because I disagree with him, he's a moron, because he lacks three things. Intelligent and rational thought, any expertise and worst of all, no desire to educate himself on the things he's lacking. I could go on, but I'm exhausted thinking about this man. So I wonder. Will my life be better in four years or will it be worse? Will it be over? It's a serious possibility that life as we know it could change. I've never been in a such a bad place in my life, as I have over the past three years, and it has nothing to do with any president. It has to do with something that happened, this time last year actually. A horrible mistake by another, an overreaction in my defense of a defenseless animal and then a letter. A letter by a woman named Judith Bernal, who is scarred, both physically and mentally by her own inadequacies, that she wrote a letter about me, to my own father, who praised it as "Gold.." This letter insinuated that I am a primate, infused with the devil. In this letter, she displayed all her life's failures, all her insecurities, all her pent up anger and projected them all onto me. And yes, my father, someone who I once thought a smart person showed, he lacked intelligence and rational thought, any expertise (in reading comprehension) and worse of all, any desire to educate himself....sound like someone else we know? He used, what our president used, and that's Cognitive dissonance.
Well I've gone over by a minute.So I'll stop here. Before anyone gets the wrong idea about me....my "threat" was a letter. Nothing physical. Simply a "do unto others, as you would have done unto you," type thing. Apparently treated people as they treat you, doesn't always work. Sadly, I don't believe in karma, because as well as I've treated most in my life, it's simply not been reciprocated. No matter how much I try to tell myself it doesn't matter. Sometimes it does. Most times actually.
Chill.. we're in the Matrix.
ReplyDeleteSpeak for yourself, Keanu!
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