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Blurred Reflection

There's a line in Charles Dickens' Nicholas Nickleby where Miss Squeers asks Phib what he means, which is followed with (roughly)...as she looked into her glass, seeing not herself, like most of us, but the pleasant reflection of how she viewed herself in her own brain. This, as of late, has become more apparent to me, about myself and others

How we view ourselves and how others view us are usually quite different. We tend to be our own worst enemies when we're down and others become our worst when we are up. Is it society? Is it our unreal reality universe that we see on reality TV? Is it our desire to shine or dull on social media, in a desperate attempt to shine a light on our ups and downs? Is it simply cognitive dissonance; something I've personally studied since my life was being ruined by someone else's use of it?

But what happens when we project our skewed view of our own reality onto others? A few months ago a lived with a self-proclaimed OCD having "neat freak." He was the biggest slob I've ever known. From day one until the final day. What about these parents who post anti-bullying memes, but also laugh about wooden spoons, belts, and shoes being what molded them? What about those who believe food from a box is a healthy and fast alternative to fresh food? There are a million everyday examples, so I won't bore you or attempt to shame anyone. We all get tired, once in a while, but when these shortcuts become a habit, we do a disservice to those around us.

I view myself, and in my solitude, I realize my desire for debate isn't done because I dislike people, but because I am good at it. I recently had someone who is essentially a stranger ask me to write something for them. Not because I view them on good terms, but because I can use language that appeals to the reader. I wish I spoke this way, but I know I don't.

The cryptic tone may be off-putting, but there's another reason. I've realized that one of my flaws is believing that honesty is always the best policy. While true in some sense, being quiet holds much more power, in terms of keeping friendships stabilized. The one thing I am realizing in people is that many, maybe even most, view their greatest flaws as their greatest assets. The reason? They never are told their wrong. People, despite social media, un-reality TV, and political correctness, tend to ignore people's flaws as they don't want their imperfections noticed. So bad kids get blamed for bad parenting, which stems from bad grandparenting, which stems from society changing its values, but people not catching up. Most kids are actually pretty perfect; It's their parents and grandparents who are flawed. Don't get me wrong, you don't have to be a parent to be flawed. The mirror is cracked for us all, but there's a point, where self esteem and desire may just become delusion.

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