Hop's Thoughts

Over the last few years, the past two or three especially, I've been away from what had always been my normal environment. Despite having friends from all walks of life, with different values, educational levels, and socioeconomic backgrounds, most of those I associated with understood words and their meanings. Now living (near) and working in an Ivy League college town, you'd think this would be similar. It's far from it. What I've realized is, most people, much of it due to social media and memes, do not understand what most words mean. Their misuse of them is comical at times, but when they use them to define themselves, without understanding their true meanings, it's actually quite sad. See below. Compassion: This is not a simple act of caring. It's the, at times, overwhelming concern and care of others who are less fortunate than you. So many people think simply being nice is compassion. Being nice is being nice and it's definitely a wonderful thing, ...

I have done this shortened version of the Proust Questionnaire a few times, but decided to do it again and then maybe go back and see how my life has changed, where I am, and where I want to be....or at least in terms of these questions. So here it goes. What is your favorite word? Sincerely What is your least favorite word? Karma What turns you on? Intelligence What turns you off? Willful ignorance What sound do you love? My cat Swag's purr while he is sleeping. What sound do you hate? Any a cell phone makes. What is your favorite curse word? Cunt What profession, other than yours, would you like to attempt? Writer What profession would you not like to attempt? Butcher If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? It took you a while but you understand what it's all about.

Yesterday afternoon, I walk into a local restaurant and there's one open seat at the bar. I ask if anyone's sitting and upon hearing it's vacant I sit. The men to the right were the hunters whose drinks of choice I mocked. Nice guys, but hey, hunters. The woman to my left, I'd spoken to last Sunday and who had remembered my veganism. A few seconds later, the bartender walks over and says "Your first beer is on us. Someone bought the bar for a 50th Birthday." A few moments lat er a chip was put down and the birthday boy had apparently bought the entire bar another round, as he left. Pretty good start to the afternoon. A few moments later, The woman to my left, pulls out a small Ziploc bag. In it were three macaroons. She explained that despite being an avid fisher and hunter, she was once vegan and completely respects and admires my choice. She said, her go-to macaroon recipe is vegan, so she figured she'd bring them in hoping to see me. I thanked her...

As Thanksgiving rolls around, we sometimes misuse the term thankful when we really mean grateful. We are thankful for those outcomes, behaviors, and situations we expect, while we are grateful for those which surprise and lift us up. Many times in relationships, whether they are simple acquaintances, working, or romantic, we tend to take that which is expected for granted, as do our partners. It is at these times, where we tend to be grateful for that which is expected. Without our even realizing, this is a fracture within our bond. I think this happens most when we look at shared responsibilities. If one person generally cooks, and the other cleans, when the other cooks, then it is assumed the regular cook will clean. At my job, I generally do one aspect of set up and clean up more than others, but it is expected that they do the other jobs. Yesterday, this didn't happen, and I realized that when you add more people to this relationship, the idea of shared responsibility, of acc...

As I stated in my last blog (nobody read), I am an obsrvationist. Again, I am not even sure if that's a word or a thing, but I'm sticking to it. So without any true explanation, I'm going to simply point out things that I observed this week that seem to almost always be true. 1. Men who speak down to their wives and girlfriends in public, seem to have friends who are very warm, comforting, and supportive to these women. Especially, when the husband isn't there.  2. The laziest people sincerely believe they are hard workers. 3. Being smiled at is like a drug.  4. People who jump into Christmas before Thanksgiving tend to do so because they are selfish. 5. Good bartenders are good regardless of the expected or past tips.  6. Most people exaggerate their daily struggles. 7. People who work with children primarily for the money are the worst childcare providers in the world.  8. People who are insecure in their abilities use body ...

This was originally about seven long paragraphs. I've reduced it by taking out every example and the feeling they give me. It is now three. Observationist may or may not be a real thing. According to a little red line, it's not even a word. I'm fairly certain it is a word but have no real desire to confirm. I would think there are people who are paid to do such things, but this is not anything I could see being healthy. Being observant, at times, feels like a mental illness. The funny thing about this affliction is that I do not consider myself one who spends much time on attention to details in my own life. I do not care if the covers are made, the soap is centered on the soap dish, or if the car is parked evenly between two lines. I simply don't think about it when it comes to myself. That being said, when it comes to others, I am painfully aware. I notice people's trends, especially when they are beneficial or hurtful in some way to me. I notice patterns in t...

While working with kids the other day, there was a moment when one team won, another lost, and the immediate reaction from the losing team was that the winning team cheated. To be honest, both teams had cheated, but that was irrelevant to a bunch of 5-10-year-olds. Only the team that benefitted from the cheating was wrong. In some ways, it's a microcosm of today's society, with everyone fighting to get ahead at one another's expense, but the only people who speak up are the ones who don't. For kids, the repercussions last only until the next game, but in this scenario, the young girl, wise beyond her years, felt that the stigma may stick.  At the end of the day, a kid on the losing team brought it up to me and mentioned that he was pretty sure she did cheat. I told him that it was only a game and we had played so many others during the afternoon that he shouldn't let it bother him. A few moments later, in a game of skill, a very smart boy tried to win the game by...

As Americans, we have been sold on this dream. The dream is to accumulate "stuff" and label it success and happiness. The problem is, with more things to take care of, we tend to choose one of two paths; to be burdened by our possession or to let them diminish and decay. The greatest example I can give you is a home. Think of most young people's apartments. They buy or rent, then accessorize. Their homes look straight out of a catalog. Then they start to collect and their space lessens and their so-called assets increase. Soon, their dwellings look like a storage room and they feel they need to move into something larger. They do, and for a while, they enjoy the comforts of their spacious new homes. Then the process repeats itself, but now, they're locked into this home for years, maybe even decades and they start to forego their chores. Pretty quickly, their home not only looks tiny and cluttered, but it becomes unclean and unhappiness settles in because in attaini...