Hop's Thoughts

During an evaluation meeting, my supervisor's six-year-old served us tea with a make-believe tea set and it was the best thing that has happened all week. Her demanding she clean up and do the dishes makes me have hope for the future. When two people share the same job and one thinks it's the other's responsibility to do many aspects of the job, but not theirs, one has to ask the question; Why does this person feel entitled? I've spent more than two days pay in tips over the past ten days. No matter how little I have, I will never shortchange those who work to serve me. If I can't afford a 25% or more tip, I won't go out. In a world where we must be careful how we do things and how we explain them, there's nothing quite like a child's touch, to assure you that you're doing things right. Whether it be holding your hand, resting their head on your shoulder, or them climbing on your shoulders, just assuming this is what needs to be done, it v...

There will always be people who lie, cheat, and steal. They will succeed at times, if not most of the time, because we live in a society that looks at the bottom line. Success, no matter how it achieved, is revered. The struggle is not. I could point to a hundred stories that we deem a success story and in almost all of them, the person who struggled to assist, to motivate, or to simply care for the one who succeeds is either ignored or a footnote. This short blog is about those footnotes. So many people have come before us and all have a story. Whether it be success or failure, our lives rarely fit nicely into the American Dream cliche of "hard work equals success." The hardest I've ever worked has returned almost no profit, financially or emotionally, while the easiest jobs I've had, have earned me respect. I think what we deem easy is given a negative connotation as something we slack off at, but that's simply not the case. Most of us who enjoy our jobs work ...

In January 2017, I moved into a new house. My landlords had two betta fish, one male, and one female. They shared a tiny plastic fish tank with a divider. My landlords were told when they got them that they only had to be fed once every six days. This, of course, was not true. Soon after, the male died, the divider was removed, and the female, still unnamed, had her living space doubled. Without their knowledge, I had begun to feed them once a day. Once the male had died, the female seemed to thrive. I read online, that in these circumstances, betta fish only live about 100 days. I tried my best. I named her Sadie after a sweet young girl who I knew from the school I work at. Sadie, tended to stick to herself, seeming amused by others, and often rehearsing for some performance only she knew about. She was bright, friendly, and warm, but she preferred her own company to others'. Sadie, the fish, reminded me of her daily, lying still, alone, but swimming to the top of the bowl each...

Yesterday, I was without hot water. I complained. A passive approach was taken to rectify the situation and I took an ice cold shower. I complained. When I left for work, it was still not fixed. I complained. When I returned from work, nobody was home and the water ran cold. I complained. I let it run for a while and after a short time, it was warm, then hot. I was relieved. Yesterday, a mother, sisters, brother, and a multitude of friends grieved the loss,of someone they loved. They also, celebrated, as best they could, his birthday, which fell upon the same day. Yesterday, a kid smiled and joked with me. He lost his father recently. Another, whose parents recently split, shared his excitement over his new hat. Yesterday, a coworker, who seems to be hiding some pain, made us all laugh. Yesterday, as I came down from my rage high, over the inability to take a hot shower, I went on the internet. I checked Twitter. The first post that I saw "Remember: Flint, Michigan, still wi...

Come July it will be 15 years since my mother passed. I like to think she taught me well and since our last talk, I've become a man. We didn't always see eye-to-eye, but that may be the greatest lesson she taught me. Last night, as I spoke to two moms, one with adult kids and one with children, I realized another thing she taught me. Our best is not always enough. Knowing that is the passing grade. I am who my mom created, even if she didn't give birth to me. I have more faults than one man should, but I go to sleep knowing she'd be proud of me. Not for what I've achieved or made, but for who I am. We all love our mother's, some would say unconditionally, but maybe, at the end of the day, that's the greatest lesson she taught me. Love those who are there for you in your darkest days, not simply because they are present. Happy Mother's Day to all of you who rise up for your children, when most are simply "there." .

Listen to music that makes you cry Watch movies that make you cry Read books that make you cry Whether it be sadness, happiness, or simply triggering memories, crying is the best therapy ever!

Five Minutes and Go People should always care about themselves more than any other, right up until the point it becomes obvious to others that they care about themselves most. Never underestimate how others will feel about you being praised. It can go either way. There are times when I realize what I miss most in life and the fact that I will never have it. This weekend is Mother's Day and while I've never been sucked into the Hallmark holiday silliness, it brings back some odd, funny and sad memories. I will always do first. I realize this is not today's norm. When did burping while others are eating become as much of a social norm as watching a podcast at the dining room table? Please pick up and put down the seat, dependent on your aim and which gender you identify with. I'm still learning; every day. I miss philosophical/sociological conversations. The state of American politics has become so ludicrous, I really wonder if there's a better pla...