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The worst actor ever

Chris Klein has not been in enough movies as of yet to qualify, so we'll give him a pass.

OK, I'm going to get heat for this one, but my vote is for Robin Williams. And of course, because this is a blog and not a facebook status update, I'll explain. Let's start at the beginning. He appeared as the martian Mork from Ork on Happy Days back in the 70's. Somehow this was spun off into it's own show. At the same time he starred in his first movie as Popeye. A live action cartoon which was so horrible, it turned me off to spinach until a young adult. This was followed by The World According to Garp. Despite it being filmed partly in good old Eastchester and a cameo by our beloved AD Dom Cecere, the movie is absolutely awful. Moscow on the Hudson was actually pretty decent when I first watched it, but I later realized it wasn't because of RW, it was because as a youngin I was infatuated with Maria Conchita Alonso. Then came Club Paradise, and despite having one of my favorite movie lines, it is so bad, it's almost unwatchable.

Here's where people will either stop reading or hate me. These next two movies are two of my least favorite, because he is praised for his acting, when in actuality it's four hours of a filmed coke binge. Good Morning Vietnam & Dead Poets Society are two of my least favorite popular movies. Honestly, I don't understand the draw. Both are painfully boring, self-righteous drech. Every time someone stands on a desk and says Oh Captain, My Captain, an angel gets put to death. At least I hope.

Then came the trifecta of a lifetime. Cadillac Man, Awakenings, and Shakes the Clown. Each are bad in their own way, but Shakes the Clown might possibly be one of the ten worst movies of all time. A little side note: Even as a catatonic person Robert Deniro still acted like a mob guy. What's with that? Then the Fisher King and Hook. Seriously, who has seen this many movies of his and didn't want to kill themelf? The worst part is there are more. Toys? Take out LL Cool J (yes, LL Cool J) from this movie and it's up there with Shakes.

Dustin Hoffman nailed the cross dressing character in Tootsie. Plus, it had Jessica Lange, so kudos to them. Mrs. Doubtfire was so silly it made me actually wanna rewatch Big Momma's House. Jumanji. No words. The Birdcage took a wonderful movie called Les Cage Aux Folles and ruined it. I could start about Nathan Lane, but what's the use.

And then Ben and Matt came along. Good Will Hunting is not a bad movie. It really isn't, but every scene with RW makes me twitch with pain. Here were two kids who had this great role they had written. His character is the voice of reason in a chaotic situation. The whole while he looks so uncomfortable in his own skin. I've always thought that if they had gotten a real actor this movie would have been so much better. Instead it's awkward. I don't even know the line he utters about "going to see about a girl." But it's flat out nauseating and contrived and coming from him, it's not even real.

What Dreams May Come, Bicentennial Man, Patch Adams. Somebody shoot me. Why have I actually seen these? Death to Smoochy, for Christ's sake, kill me now. Then his challenging roles came. One Hour Photo. Good god. I wish this movie was an hour shorter. RW as a villain is as believable as me being a personal trainer. But they weren't done miscasting him. Insomnia, which is actually a remake of a fine Norwegian film with Stellan Skaarsgard. Unfortunately, someone forgot to tell RW and Pacino that some acting would be involved. I have insomnia, but this film put me to sleep. This was the final straw. I am done.

So from this day forward, unless some practical joke is played on me, where I am incapacitated, I will not watch another film with him. Sure Night at the Museum is Oscar worthy. RV is a riot. Whatever his next film out will be brilliant. I'll have to take every one's word for it. I refuse to waste any more of my life watching this idiot. Honestly, I can't even stomach him in interviews. How the hell can a grown man not have the ability to be serious, even for a moment. Sadly, when he tries to be, it is so forced, it doesn't translate. It saddens me to realize the numerous hours I've wasted watching his films. Not one really good on in the whole batch.

I'll end this tirade now. Maybe one day I'll write about one of my least favorite movies. Maybe it'll be about Shawshank. Maybe It's a Wonderful Life. Maybe Citizen Kane. Who knows? I'm sure it will be something that will piss someone off, but at least it won't have Robin Williams in it. NANU NANU - Good grief!

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