Skip to main content

What Kinda Guy Are You?

It's so funny. Men and women are so different in so many ways. Women in general like to shop, soak up the rays at the beach and watch love stories the likes of which no man can bare. Men on the other hand, seem to like drinking and watching sports, period! I'm making very broad generalizations, but my point is, I wonder if girls are like guys in what they seek out in a woman. I am not speaking about family values right now, I'm talking strictly physical attraction.

Now all guys like a pretty face, but guys are pretty much divided into three groups. Breast men, ass men and leg men. Oddly enough, you when you ask a buddy what kind of guy he is, you don't ever hear him say "I'm a pussy man." One because it's sounds like a self-loathing statement and two, it's a fucking given.

It's a funny phenomenon and I definitely don't want to get all Freudian with this entry, but I'd like to think it has nothing to do with our mothers, grandmothers or any other family members. OK, that hot cousin who isn't really a cousin doesn't count. Some say it has to do with breast feeding, but that only explains one of the three categories. What about the others? Would an ass man be such due to someone sitting on him as a child? I doubt it. Or a leg man having this love affair with the gams due to spending way too much time on the ground in the cosmetic department at Lord & Taylor? It's baffling.


All men turn when they see a bodacious bottom, some jiggling cleavage, or a set of long legs in high heels. That my friends, is human nature. But what makes a man fawn over one area so much more than another? I consider myself a breast man. I'd say 90 percent of the women I've ever been in contact with in a romantic way were pretty much stacked when it came to the chest area. Some were bigger than others, some more shapely, with some actually surprising me. I can't think of too many who were below average in size in that department. Now that's not to say that someone who can fill a pairs of jeans, but is petite up top doesn't turn me on. I'm not saying that at all. Believe me, the right pair of heels, a short skirt and and a sexy strut can drive me wild too, but at the end of the day, I like big breasts.


Now I have friends who love big butts. I have friends who like skinny butts. I have friends who want them heart-shaped and others that don't care. I have friends who like short legs, some who like long. Some like thin, some like more muscular. Some don't care if the girl has legs to begin with. When it comes to boobs, I know guys that say they don't want more than a mouthful, some say they want them as big as basketballs, and some say what's the use. Some like dark-skinned beauties, some the fair skinned European look. Beauty is definitely in the eye of the beholder and at times the beer holder.


My argument is all women are beautiful in their own way, but we all have our preferences. If I had my druthers, everyone would look like Salma Hayek. Her olive complexion, brunette mane, sexy Spanish accent, combined with a bust that almost none can rival and sexy legs that work their way up to her curvaceous hips. At 5'2", to me she's perfect. That's not to say the tall, lean look of someone like Uma Thurman doesn't do it for me or the soft features of Sinead O'Connor (yes even bald I'd love her). There are millions of attractive women in the world, but none compare in my eyes to Salma. OK, maybe Padma Lakshmi or Eva Green. A young Sophia Loren or Gunnel Linblom, maybe.

But do women have these groups? Other than the annoying love of height, I have never really heard women throw guys into groups. Sure after they have slept with them, they might have some information to group, but not before. No, men seem across the board to be placed into one of three categories. Sure, there are time when all the categories cross into one person, but that is rare (and special...see Salma). For the most part men can tell if these said body parts are nice before a woman undresses, so one knows what to expect. Although I will be honest, I once expected someone to be somewhat small chested and when they took their bra off I was shocked, and very pleasantly, by what I saw. It was one of those occasions where if others had been present, I might have grasped hands and said grace.

So there you have it. My delicately placing all of humanity, well male humanity, into three nice little groups. So which one are you? I am a self described breast man, but all you lovely rumped and long-legged ladies out there, please feel free to try and persuade me to your team! I promise I'll go into with an open mind if you go into with open...would you look at the time.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

White Privilege

This was a post I wrote on Facebook after surprisingly not seeing any moaning about the Documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas, titled White People Dayyum! I just scrolled my timeline and not a single white person got their feelings hurt by White People. I unfortunately haven't seen it, but the number of fake accounts that popped up on twitter, tells me it was a damn good show. Here's the thing. If someone of color aka non-white says "White Privilege," are you offended? If you said yes, then you are exhibiting white privilege. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or study, how you stayed out of trouble, because here's the thing, that is entirely the point. Somewhere out there, there are 100 Black, Spanish, Native American, Arab, Asian, who worked and studied as hard as you and never got in trouble, but they don't have what you "earned" or achieved. Stop looking at the one person you know who isn't white that achieved as your benchmark. Loo...

Quickie Review - Finding Vivian Maier

While I thoroughly enjoyed the film, especially the first 15-20 minutes, I was a little bothered by the way the film played out. The interviews with the clearly disturbed brother, sister and the mother, who obviously, was in for a cut, didn't need to be in the film. Then the woman who suggested abuse, yet seemed to have her life defined by Maier, as she tried to muster every ounce of emotion and fake guilt. Her friend, more than happy to be party of the charade. People who talk about abuse for the first time, usually don't do so on camera. The fact these scenes were so prominent, shows that they felt wronged that they were not rewarded. Maloof on the other hand, seems to disappear from the documentary during this part, almost hiding away from the fact, he went from complete praise, to even making money off of her, to destroying her personal legacy. He almost mentions the family of boys taking care of her rent, as an afterthought. Her burial spot, never shown, yet a video of her...

If You Listen To One Speech - Lana Wachowski

http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/videos/lana-wachowski-opens-up-about-difficult-past-and-attempted-suicide-20121024 Today I saw a link to a video for a speech by Lana Wachowski.  The last name rung a bell, but I could't put my finger on it. Lana, used to be Larry, one of the writer, director, producers of the Matrix trilogy, V for Vendetta and the upcoming Cloud Atlas.  Lana is transgendered and has "come out" as a woman.  She was being honored by the Human Rights Campaign. I didn't know what to expect when this broad woman with crazy hair and a raspy voice began to speak.  She began with the usual pleasantries and told of her hair dresser. She then tells of her desire to be a quiet person and how hard the success of the Matrix movies made this.  The first ten minutes is telling of how she's not quite ready to be this spokesperson.  Then she speaks about the new movie Cloud Atlas and reveals the heart of the movie and this speech. She states,"The resp...