Day
78: A few years ago, I joined Facebook and within two days I connected
with a childhood friend, who I had not contacted in over 20 years. I
asked him about his life, his family and his career. I then asked "How
is that crazy brother of yours?" His brother was no longer with us. He
like so many was a casualty of depression. Last year, another friend
became a casualty. in between, this time, there were others.
We who are able to cope, do so with a variety of methods, but we also need to understand that the cloud of depression comes and goes. It's not caused by being stuck in traffic or not liking someone. It is so complex that people who study and diagnose it have absolutely not idea how to treat it. So what are we to do for those people? Sadly, being there isn't always enough.
One of the most important people in my life battled depression and bipolar disorder. He was a family friend who despite his troubles, brought my family and I years of enjoyment. We tried to always be there for him and in the end, he just disappeared. The cause of his death isn't really known to me, but I know this disease destroyed someone who meant the world to me. It still stings.
The internet, for all it's wonder, is a harmful place. Today, all I've read is people's postings of other people chiming on Robin Williams death. Quotes and misquotes are plentiful and nearly all of my friends have blurred the lines of reality by posting one of Mr. Williams' character's quotes and crediting him with these profound statements. So many have claimed their life is ruined, their heart is broken in two and they have lost a piece of them. Mr. Williams has suffered from depression forever. This has been well documented and yet, in more than half a decade, I've never seen one post from any of these tormented souls about this man or his battle. So why now? Because he died, his celebrity deserves notice?
Depression is serious. It is not a bad day at work, a missed train or a bad relationship. It is a disease that affects those afflicted, even in times of joy. People battling depression, true depression or bipolar disorder are not broadcasting it on Facebook every hour on the hour. Their symptoms are not evident and they definitely are not trying to bring attention to that which plagues them. The attention seekers online only hurt those who are truly in need, because they stigmatize the disease as some drama king or queen's problem.
My family's dear friend battled his depression by becoming a perfectionist in everything he did, but the depression kept anything he did from appearing perfect. If he could only know that in my mind, he was the perfect role model. Selfless, kind, funny, nurturing and incredibly intelligent. Had I told him every day, would it have changed anything? Probably not, but it opened my eyes. Robin Williams is not the first to be claimed by depression and he's certainly not the first celebrity. I hope everyone remembers how awful they felt the day they learned of Heath Ledger's passing and how they reacted 5 days later when his name came up. William's passing will soon be forgotten, just like Ledger, Hoffman and the multitude of others. The reality is, we all know someone battling, but we only show this odd solidarity when it afflicts someone we don't know, because it's easier. Maybe if we all actually knew Robin Williams, it wouldn't be about how much we liked What Dreams May Come and how we looked forward to his next project and it would be about how much we wish we did more when he was here.
Funny, how when it comes to a life ended because of depression, it's about the only time RIP actually seems appropriate. #100DaysOfHopper
http://www.afsp.org/
We who are able to cope, do so with a variety of methods, but we also need to understand that the cloud of depression comes and goes. It's not caused by being stuck in traffic or not liking someone. It is so complex that people who study and diagnose it have absolutely not idea how to treat it. So what are we to do for those people? Sadly, being there isn't always enough.
One of the most important people in my life battled depression and bipolar disorder. He was a family friend who despite his troubles, brought my family and I years of enjoyment. We tried to always be there for him and in the end, he just disappeared. The cause of his death isn't really known to me, but I know this disease destroyed someone who meant the world to me. It still stings.
The internet, for all it's wonder, is a harmful place. Today, all I've read is people's postings of other people chiming on Robin Williams death. Quotes and misquotes are plentiful and nearly all of my friends have blurred the lines of reality by posting one of Mr. Williams' character's quotes and crediting him with these profound statements. So many have claimed their life is ruined, their heart is broken in two and they have lost a piece of them. Mr. Williams has suffered from depression forever. This has been well documented and yet, in more than half a decade, I've never seen one post from any of these tormented souls about this man or his battle. So why now? Because he died, his celebrity deserves notice?
Depression is serious. It is not a bad day at work, a missed train or a bad relationship. It is a disease that affects those afflicted, even in times of joy. People battling depression, true depression or bipolar disorder are not broadcasting it on Facebook every hour on the hour. Their symptoms are not evident and they definitely are not trying to bring attention to that which plagues them. The attention seekers online only hurt those who are truly in need, because they stigmatize the disease as some drama king or queen's problem.
My family's dear friend battled his depression by becoming a perfectionist in everything he did, but the depression kept anything he did from appearing perfect. If he could only know that in my mind, he was the perfect role model. Selfless, kind, funny, nurturing and incredibly intelligent. Had I told him every day, would it have changed anything? Probably not, but it opened my eyes. Robin Williams is not the first to be claimed by depression and he's certainly not the first celebrity. I hope everyone remembers how awful they felt the day they learned of Heath Ledger's passing and how they reacted 5 days later when his name came up. William's passing will soon be forgotten, just like Ledger, Hoffman and the multitude of others. The reality is, we all know someone battling, but we only show this odd solidarity when it afflicts someone we don't know, because it's easier. Maybe if we all actually knew Robin Williams, it wouldn't be about how much we liked What Dreams May Come and how we looked forward to his next project and it would be about how much we wish we did more when he was here.
Funny, how when it comes to a life ended because of depression, it's about the only time RIP actually seems appropriate. #100DaysOfHopper
http://www.afsp.org/
Day
79: I've figured it out. If you have more than one passion in life, you
can't be truly accepted by social media. Complaining about things we
all deal with on a day-to-day basis isn't a passion, although I have two
friends who seem to have mastered it, but I mean true passions.
It seems to me if you comment about one thing over and over, whether it be euthanized cats, doing squats, downward facing flamingos, your split times or spending money, you somehow accumulate 50+ likes, 30 comments, usually thanking you for your existence and the occasional share. Why is it if you like puppies and running, you can't speak about both and enjoy the accolades that these people who have committed their entire lives to one thing.
Now, while I'm joking about their passions, it is not meant that they aren't noble and something that I to enjoy, I just don't see how anyone else can share such enthusiasm about such boring things. To me, telling us all about a trip to the zoo and learning that this animal or that animal is monogamous is much more fascinating than know you ran 3.3 miles in 27 minutes. Also, I'm a fat bastard and before I hurt my knees, I ran a hell of a lot faster than most of you who do this daily. Back to my point. Why do we embrace people who have a solitary activity on social media, when we abhor their company in real life? I'm not just saying that, I know people who get likes and comments from people every single day who have told me they can't stand these people in real life. So why do it?
I like to think of myself as well-rounded and feel free to snicker as you read. I enjoy pretty much all life has to offer, but food, sports, cinema, discussing politics, religion, education, working with children, helping find ways to feed those without, give tips to those in slight need and educating myself on as many topics as possible are my passions. On social media, I'm a pariah, but those who have truly gotten to know me, say much different things.
I love knowing that a friend of mine has a knack for snapping the most beautiful photgraphs, that one writes poetry, another paints, while one practices tai chi, another plays the banjo. I like that a friend is a triathlete, but rarely talks about their morning trot. One is a teacher, who gave up her entire summer to tutor (for free), but never once mentioned it. That one volunteers doing what others claim is their passion, but reap the financial benefits of doings so. I appreciate that one, like me, feels that life doesn't get them, but is fine at home on a Friday night with a good meal, a book (I'd go for the movie) and the warm embrace of solitude.
I don't want this to be misconstrued as an attempt to be noticed, it's just my confusion has gotten the best of me. Why do we embrace boring people with a single vision and not variety of interests online, when we steer clear from these sorts in reality? Why is social media so far removed from reality, when we only see each others posts because of reality? I don't think I'll ever know and even if I did, I doubt I'd understand. #100DaysOfHopper
It seems to me if you comment about one thing over and over, whether it be euthanized cats, doing squats, downward facing flamingos, your split times or spending money, you somehow accumulate 50+ likes, 30 comments, usually thanking you for your existence and the occasional share. Why is it if you like puppies and running, you can't speak about both and enjoy the accolades that these people who have committed their entire lives to one thing.
Now, while I'm joking about their passions, it is not meant that they aren't noble and something that I to enjoy, I just don't see how anyone else can share such enthusiasm about such boring things. To me, telling us all about a trip to the zoo and learning that this animal or that animal is monogamous is much more fascinating than know you ran 3.3 miles in 27 minutes. Also, I'm a fat bastard and before I hurt my knees, I ran a hell of a lot faster than most of you who do this daily. Back to my point. Why do we embrace people who have a solitary activity on social media, when we abhor their company in real life? I'm not just saying that, I know people who get likes and comments from people every single day who have told me they can't stand these people in real life. So why do it?
I like to think of myself as well-rounded and feel free to snicker as you read. I enjoy pretty much all life has to offer, but food, sports, cinema, discussing politics, religion, education, working with children, helping find ways to feed those without, give tips to those in slight need and educating myself on as many topics as possible are my passions. On social media, I'm a pariah, but those who have truly gotten to know me, say much different things.
I love knowing that a friend of mine has a knack for snapping the most beautiful photgraphs, that one writes poetry, another paints, while one practices tai chi, another plays the banjo. I like that a friend is a triathlete, but rarely talks about their morning trot. One is a teacher, who gave up her entire summer to tutor (for free), but never once mentioned it. That one volunteers doing what others claim is their passion, but reap the financial benefits of doings so. I appreciate that one, like me, feels that life doesn't get them, but is fine at home on a Friday night with a good meal, a book (I'd go for the movie) and the warm embrace of solitude.
I don't want this to be misconstrued as an attempt to be noticed, it's just my confusion has gotten the best of me. Why do we embrace boring people with a single vision and not variety of interests online, when we steer clear from these sorts in reality? Why is social media so far removed from reality, when we only see each others posts because of reality? I don't think I'll ever know and even if I did, I doubt I'd understand. #100DaysOfHopper
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