I am completely fine with people not being polite. Politeness is a learned behavior. Being inconsiderate of others is another thing entirely. Politeness is something you do because you feel you should, maybe even have to, to avoid scrutiny. Being considerate shows you truly care and that you're being polite, not out of habit or some forced social contract, but because you feel your minor act will enhance or ease another's life. It's quite simple. Being polite, holding doors, saying your please and thank yous and giving the old lady on the bus your seat, are all nice things to do, but why are you doing them? Is it because you rant and rave on social media and around your sewing circle when it's not done for you or are you doing it because you feel you're bettering someone else's life? So many times, the only reason we do polite things is for us. If you work with kids, you'd understand where I'm coming from.
Being considerate is not a societal norm. Think of every single time you do what you think is Facebook worthy because you view it as some RAOK (Random Act of Kindness). Is it really ever random? Giving up your reserved table so a family with children can sit and the entire restaurant isn't burdened with the antsy kids, is a random, considerate act. Holding the door for that family is something you were taught and that is why you do it. Oh and don't be offended when Mom and Dad don't hold the door for you. They probably didn't even see you.
I could give you a hundred personal experiences of people pointing out the lack of polite behavior only to have it bite them in the ass, but I'll spare you. I do find it funny how it's almost a given that the same people who complain about other people's lack of politeness are also the ones who will rant or post about not judging someone by their outward appearance. They'll point to depression, illness, stress or other variables, but then don't shine that self-righteous light on themselves when judging others.
We all have stories, but we've also all been taught civility, etiquette, and manners, but let's never forget, our actions because of these lessons are learned responses that say nothing about us or the person we are doing them for. They are basic human actions when we feel inaction reflects poorly upon us. That is politeness and it takes nothing and means even less. Being considerate means that you've taken all those life lessons and chosen, yes chosen, to not only adhere to societal norms for you, but for the other person. When people are considerate, you'll know it. Unless of course, you're the type who takes to the streets and the internet every time someone doesn't say "Bless you."
Being considerate is not a societal norm. Think of every single time you do what you think is Facebook worthy because you view it as some RAOK (Random Act of Kindness). Is it really ever random? Giving up your reserved table so a family with children can sit and the entire restaurant isn't burdened with the antsy kids, is a random, considerate act. Holding the door for that family is something you were taught and that is why you do it. Oh and don't be offended when Mom and Dad don't hold the door for you. They probably didn't even see you.
I could give you a hundred personal experiences of people pointing out the lack of polite behavior only to have it bite them in the ass, but I'll spare you. I do find it funny how it's almost a given that the same people who complain about other people's lack of politeness are also the ones who will rant or post about not judging someone by their outward appearance. They'll point to depression, illness, stress or other variables, but then don't shine that self-righteous light on themselves when judging others.
We all have stories, but we've also all been taught civility, etiquette, and manners, but let's never forget, our actions because of these lessons are learned responses that say nothing about us or the person we are doing them for. They are basic human actions when we feel inaction reflects poorly upon us. That is politeness and it takes nothing and means even less. Being considerate means that you've taken all those life lessons and chosen, yes chosen, to not only adhere to societal norms for you, but for the other person. When people are considerate, you'll know it. Unless of course, you're the type who takes to the streets and the internet every time someone doesn't say "Bless you."
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