Hop's Thoughts

Weddings Graduations Concerts Games Performances Dinners Breakfasts Walks in the Park Trips Vacations Grandparents Aunts and Uncles Cousins On Facebook, I've seen these all. Many posted by the same people. I have one simple question. How much more would you and your family enjoy these moments without the need for social media documentation?

For Shane Yesterday, I sat in the library, thinking of you. As I pored over vegan recipes, tales of medieval monks, and descriptive biography of Yasujiro Ozu, I thought about you more. Who else could I call and discuss all three? Who else would be able to add insight to my last meal, movie, and chapter? I was tempted to walk, arrive work sweaty, but feeling accomplished, but a bump in the rode arose and I found myself driving. You'd have scoffed, claimed I took the easy way or accused me of always avoiding the circuitous route, in favor of ease. I'd agree, then buy you a beer. Last night, I thought about us twenty-five years ago, maybe more. Rows of six dimes stacked on the bar. Cold Schaefer puckering our lips. Commenting on the old-timers, of which I am now one. You're not here to share those moments, that repartee or the serious moments we often shared. With every meal, movie and mountain life throws at me, I miss you more. There were years where we only spoke once. ...

Blade Runner 2049 - Deakins' cinematography makes up for a lot. Better than the original! La Bete Humaine - Renoir's boring tale fails to make you feel for any of the characters. Killing Ground - Standard horror trail story, gets good, then completely falls apart. Wind River - Been done before, but for some reason, it clicks in all the right spots. The Villainess - Korean action film that excels due to its "gimmicks" and its amazing star. 35 Shots Of  Rum - Claire Denis' version of Ozu's Late Spring, trains and all. Solid. Darkest Hour - Brilliant acting. Oldman won Oscar, but it's James who truly shines. Perfect Blue - Confusing anime Inspired by so much and inspired even more. Must see. Skirt Day - Teacher deals with unruly students and a gun. Heartbreaking. Adjani is great. The Thing (2011) - Absolutely unwatchable. I tried three times and couldn't sit through it. Chris Rock: Tamborine - Feels like a weak reboot of Bigger and Blacker. Pre...

Parents talk about "today's kids" or "in my day," but the funny thing is, the parents who post or say "In my day" don't accept the fact they're doing things wrong. It's amazing how when you point out a preventable behavior and how to curb it, they immediately shut down. When did being a parent mean having a closed mind? Hell, my generation's parents all had Dr. Spock right next to Dr. Suess and they referenced that book a lot more than we read One Fish, Two Fish.  Maybe this is why today's kids say things people back in my day would never have dreamed of saying. Sadly, some even do it. I don't think a single day goes by when I'm not learning how to teach, educate, advise and communicate with kids. Every time I learn something about them, I learn even more about their parents.

Last night, I was hesitant to read Molly Ringwald's article in her current day form, a feminist, mother and former child-star. I was worried about how she'd change my view of John Hughes. Someone who I always felt "got me," much more than my parents. Death, crimes and sordid behavior have stripped many of the icons of my youth away, but it dawned on me, the thing that has taken the most away is myself. I'd like to call it growth, age, experience, but then I'd have to ask myself the question I'm asking myself now, having read Miss Ringwald's piece. If I can still love these movies while appreciating the fact that Mr. Hughes sometimes painted familiar pictures that were part of the problem, why can't we all? The major flaw in The Breakfast Club is that Bender gets the girl. It's not a flaw because it's not realistic, it's a flaw because, in the fairytale ending, Bender is the bad guy. Even The Geek's letter explains they'll go b...

There's a line in Charles Dickens' Nicholas Nickleby where Miss Squeers asks Phib what he means, which is followed with (roughly)...as she looked into her glass, seeing not herself, like most of us, but the pleasant reflection of how she viewed herself in her own brain. This, as of late, has become more apparent to me, about myself and others How we view ourselves and how others view us are usually quite different. We tend to be our own worst enemies when we're down and others become our worst when we are up. Is it society? Is it our unreal reality universe that we see on  reality  TV? Is it our desire to shine or dull on social media, in a desperate attempt to shine a light on our ups and downs? Is it simply cognitive dissonance; something I've personally studied since my life was being ruined by someone else's use of it? But what happens when we project our skewed view of our own reality onto others? A few months ago a lived with a self-proclaimed OCD having ...

I look old. I feel old. I sound old. I'm old. Yesterday it hit me. Children's safety is more of my concern, than their fun. It could simply be a product of caring and the turmoil of the times, but it feels different. I brace for falls and I've grown past the "rub some dirt on it," phase of macho childcare. I worry about what might happen, much more than what does happen. I plan. I forget when speaking to coworkers, especially those younger female ones, that I am not seeing what they are seeing. I do not mean this sexually, but in context of connecting to situations we share. I've always worked better with women than I have with me, not for any reason other than I believe, whether I'm right or wrong, that I view things from a more motherly angle than the paternal views. I don't coddle, but I listen. Men don't listen the same way women do. I know that now. I respect 19-25 year old women now, much more than I do others, but the realization my view...