Anyone that knows me knows I'm a huge movie buff. I will pretty much watch any genre, any language, and I steer clear of movies that feature Jim Carrey, Will Ferrell, and other idiots. Sure they are funny. I'll take your word for it. I've seen most of Carrey's movies and this is why I don't see them anymore. As our former president once said "fool me once, shame on....shame on you. Fool me....you can't get fooled again." Not sure what this means, but it makes more sense than most idiotic movies put out today.
Trying to think of this list I went to IMDB's website and scanned the top 250 movies of all time, ranked by IMDB users. It's an interesting list with classic and newer movies, but definitely leans a little to the more popular blockbusters, most likely due to the age of most of the visitors. Doing a rough count I've seen 230 of the 250 listed and most I haven't seen were out within the last year or are foreign children's stories. I'm sure some of these are some of my readers favorites and I know one choice will drive people mad, but seriously, it's just my feeling. And frankly, when it comes to movies, I know more than you! There I said it.
10. Good Will Hunting - I've already written about my disdain for Robin Williams, so I'll refrain, but my biggest problem with the entire film is that I didn't really like any of the characters. I didn't care if they achieved, succeeded or ended up happy. They all seemed to destined for failure that the pretentious ending just drove me crazy. Listen, the guy doesn't even use his own line at the end. Other than Ben Afflek's job interview scene, it was pretty lame
9. The Green Mile - I'm not into the whole miracle worker type thing. I think that was done well in an understated movie like Powder. I also don't especially love Tom Hanks. I think he's become too big for the movies and despite what some critics seem to believe, unlike Michael Clarke Duncan's character, everything he touches doesn't magically get better.
8. Raging Bull - listen if I wanna watch a pathetic slob curse for two hours I'll go to a seedy pub. Sure the boxing scenes were pretty good, but that doesn't make it a good movie. I once read it was voted best movie of the 1980's. Who the hell voted on this, Joe Pesci and Robert Deniro? With all the great boxing films this one doesn't stand out.
7. Saving Private Ryan - this is a tough one, because the opening scene is so effective and the the story is good. Honestly, what kills me about this movie is too many names. Every time you turn around you're saying "hey wasn't he in." After a while it's just too much for me. Plus as far as general war movies go, it's not that exciting.
6. Forrest Gump - now this movie arguably has the greatest soundtrack ever, but it doesn't save it from being just plain annoying. The idea is clever but the idea that Forrest Gump seems to touch so many lives inadvertently is a little bothersome at times. My biggest issue of all is that it runs about 45 minutes to long. I was running....and so was this movie, running too long.
5. Citizen Kane - this is like a film school No-No. The same way you don't talk about Fight Club, you don't bash this movie. Well I watched this in a film class and after the fight to keep my eyes open until the end just to find out that freaking Rosebud was his freaking...well you'll have to see it to find out...I ranted for a good 10 minutes about how bad this was. I can appreciate when it was made. I can appreciate that the camera work was ahead of its time. I can appreciate a lot, but I can't appreciate how boring this movie is. Seriously, some of the shots you swear the camera crew just left the camera rolling and nobody told the actors to cut. It's just boring. If you want to see genius film making by Orson Welles' Touch of Evil.
5. The Matrix - I saw only the first one and that was enough. Ironically they made a movie that fit Keanu Reeves acting style. Shitty! Honestly, could anyone else pull off Keanu. Seriously, I almost want him to OD or die in a hang gliding accident just so they can make a movie about him. If anyone can act like him, they deserve an Oscar, because it's almost impossible to imagine someone else on this planet being as void of personality. HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey has more charisma than this tool. That being said he was wonderful in Point Break. Oh wait, he sucked in that too!
4. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy - Screw you people. This movie was summed up perfectly by Randall in Clerks 2. When your entire existence is wrapped up in a comedy sequel on about thirty seconds, you know you suck. Seriously, from what I can tell the entire trilogy is about a hike in the woods to get a ring and then destroy it. If I missed something else, please fill me in.
3. The Dark Knight - OK being hopped up on drugs and playing a part of a guy who appears hopped up on drugs does not a great performance make. Combine that with a crappy script and a bored looking Christian Bale, i walked away from this gem feeling cheated. I thought Batman Begins was absolutely freaking brilliant. I couldn't believe how good it was. I couldn't wait to see Bale back as the caped crusader. Then about 30 minutes in, the wheels fell off. I couldn't care less about any of the characters and Katie Holmes or whoever it was this time, Maggie Gyllenhal, Jesus, how the hell did they not keep the same actor, was Katie Holmes busy getting the rocket ship ready for Tom? What the hell happened. And what's with Morgan Freeman? Can he once be in a movie where he's not the token black guy. Sorry, but Morgan do an original role dammit. I'm sick of this crap. Anyway, lots of booms and bangs and I felt like I got cheated. Can't wait for the next one.
2. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest - hated the book and went into this with the worst possible attitude. I'm going to have to see this one again, because I saw it right after I read the book and couldn't stand it. In all fairness, I've blocked this movie from my memory for the most part. I know the best acting is by the guy who doesn't talk for half the movie. That's probably why I hated it.
1. The Shawshank Redemption - OK, I think I've written about this, but not sure if it was a blog or a response to Facebook post. I hate this movie and I am quite aware that I am one of about 12 people that roam this planet that feel this way. Let's see where to start. Let's begin with Tim Robbins acting. He sucks in everything and he sucks in this. Morgan Freeman (see token black statement). My feeling about watching this is that getting through to the bright sunny ending is similar to Andy Dufrene's crawling through 500 yards of sewage. Which by the way, is most likely physically impossible. Plus, is it just me or when he gets to the end and does his Jesus pose, was I the only one thinking of John Goodman and William Forsythe in Raising Arizona? The ending also got me. Had this not had a Hollywood ending and maybe it ended up that Andy had duped everyone, even Red, I would have had so much more respect for it. I just can't stomach the cliche filled sob fest that left me feeling Shawshanked.
OK So where do I go from here. I named #1 and I've got a silly number of listings, eleven. Well let me add one, since Shawshank was IMDB's #1 movie of all-time I had to list it number one on my list. But there's a big one I left out. If there is a heaven and hell, I'll be taking the elevator down, I realize this, but maybe it's not hot. Maybe some guy who looks like David Niven with a pitchfork isn't down there, maybe it's a room with a DVD player and we have to watch the one movie that gives us chills. That breaks us down to a pile of stench laden ooze. Well for me, that's the holiday car accident known as It's A Wonderful Life. I'd rather attend family members funerals than watch this train wreck. James Stewart, your a babbling idiot, please go away. I hate this movie with such passion that I actually rip the wings off of baby birds when I hear a bell during Christmas time. Don't judge me, you go to the Candlelight all the time, what do you think those are actually from a buffalo you sorry movie loving hypocrite. I so wish James Stewart died and stayed dead in this movie. It would have been about 6 minutes long and I could digest my holiday meal without Maalox. What kills me is when I watch this with men and they get teary-eyed. Are you shitting me Pile? I'd get more enjoyment watching a kid without thumbs playing Xbox than watching this crap. Oh and you know what happens when a bell rings, you get up and answer the goddamn door. Look what you've all done. You've made me angry. Hulk angry. Dammit, the Hulk is a better movie. OK I better stop before I go on a five state shooting spree! Although I'd save some innocent souls from the perils of holiday horrors!
Trying to think of this list I went to IMDB's website and scanned the top 250 movies of all time, ranked by IMDB users. It's an interesting list with classic and newer movies, but definitely leans a little to the more popular blockbusters, most likely due to the age of most of the visitors. Doing a rough count I've seen 230 of the 250 listed and most I haven't seen were out within the last year or are foreign children's stories. I'm sure some of these are some of my readers favorites and I know one choice will drive people mad, but seriously, it's just my feeling. And frankly, when it comes to movies, I know more than you! There I said it.
10. Good Will Hunting - I've already written about my disdain for Robin Williams, so I'll refrain, but my biggest problem with the entire film is that I didn't really like any of the characters. I didn't care if they achieved, succeeded or ended up happy. They all seemed to destined for failure that the pretentious ending just drove me crazy. Listen, the guy doesn't even use his own line at the end. Other than Ben Afflek's job interview scene, it was pretty lame
9. The Green Mile - I'm not into the whole miracle worker type thing. I think that was done well in an understated movie like Powder. I also don't especially love Tom Hanks. I think he's become too big for the movies and despite what some critics seem to believe, unlike Michael Clarke Duncan's character, everything he touches doesn't magically get better.
8. Raging Bull - listen if I wanna watch a pathetic slob curse for two hours I'll go to a seedy pub. Sure the boxing scenes were pretty good, but that doesn't make it a good movie. I once read it was voted best movie of the 1980's. Who the hell voted on this, Joe Pesci and Robert Deniro? With all the great boxing films this one doesn't stand out.
7. Saving Private Ryan - this is a tough one, because the opening scene is so effective and the the story is good. Honestly, what kills me about this movie is too many names. Every time you turn around you're saying "hey wasn't he in." After a while it's just too much for me. Plus as far as general war movies go, it's not that exciting.
6. Forrest Gump - now this movie arguably has the greatest soundtrack ever, but it doesn't save it from being just plain annoying. The idea is clever but the idea that Forrest Gump seems to touch so many lives inadvertently is a little bothersome at times. My biggest issue of all is that it runs about 45 minutes to long. I was running....and so was this movie, running too long.
5. Citizen Kane - this is like a film school No-No. The same way you don't talk about Fight Club, you don't bash this movie. Well I watched this in a film class and after the fight to keep my eyes open until the end just to find out that freaking Rosebud was his freaking...well you'll have to see it to find out...I ranted for a good 10 minutes about how bad this was. I can appreciate when it was made. I can appreciate that the camera work was ahead of its time. I can appreciate a lot, but I can't appreciate how boring this movie is. Seriously, some of the shots you swear the camera crew just left the camera rolling and nobody told the actors to cut. It's just boring. If you want to see genius film making by Orson Welles' Touch of Evil.
5. The Matrix - I saw only the first one and that was enough. Ironically they made a movie that fit Keanu Reeves acting style. Shitty! Honestly, could anyone else pull off Keanu. Seriously, I almost want him to OD or die in a hang gliding accident just so they can make a movie about him. If anyone can act like him, they deserve an Oscar, because it's almost impossible to imagine someone else on this planet being as void of personality. HAL from 2001: A Space Odyssey has more charisma than this tool. That being said he was wonderful in Point Break. Oh wait, he sucked in that too!
4. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy - Screw you people. This movie was summed up perfectly by Randall in Clerks 2. When your entire existence is wrapped up in a comedy sequel on about thirty seconds, you know you suck. Seriously, from what I can tell the entire trilogy is about a hike in the woods to get a ring and then destroy it. If I missed something else, please fill me in.
3. The Dark Knight - OK being hopped up on drugs and playing a part of a guy who appears hopped up on drugs does not a great performance make. Combine that with a crappy script and a bored looking Christian Bale, i walked away from this gem feeling cheated. I thought Batman Begins was absolutely freaking brilliant. I couldn't believe how good it was. I couldn't wait to see Bale back as the caped crusader. Then about 30 minutes in, the wheels fell off. I couldn't care less about any of the characters and Katie Holmes or whoever it was this time, Maggie Gyllenhal, Jesus, how the hell did they not keep the same actor, was Katie Holmes busy getting the rocket ship ready for Tom? What the hell happened. And what's with Morgan Freeman? Can he once be in a movie where he's not the token black guy. Sorry, but Morgan do an original role dammit. I'm sick of this crap. Anyway, lots of booms and bangs and I felt like I got cheated. Can't wait for the next one.
2. One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest - hated the book and went into this with the worst possible attitude. I'm going to have to see this one again, because I saw it right after I read the book and couldn't stand it. In all fairness, I've blocked this movie from my memory for the most part. I know the best acting is by the guy who doesn't talk for half the movie. That's probably why I hated it.
1. The Shawshank Redemption - OK, I think I've written about this, but not sure if it was a blog or a response to Facebook post. I hate this movie and I am quite aware that I am one of about 12 people that roam this planet that feel this way. Let's see where to start. Let's begin with Tim Robbins acting. He sucks in everything and he sucks in this. Morgan Freeman (see token black statement). My feeling about watching this is that getting through to the bright sunny ending is similar to Andy Dufrene's crawling through 500 yards of sewage. Which by the way, is most likely physically impossible. Plus, is it just me or when he gets to the end and does his Jesus pose, was I the only one thinking of John Goodman and William Forsythe in Raising Arizona? The ending also got me. Had this not had a Hollywood ending and maybe it ended up that Andy had duped everyone, even Red, I would have had so much more respect for it. I just can't stomach the cliche filled sob fest that left me feeling Shawshanked.
OK So where do I go from here. I named #1 and I've got a silly number of listings, eleven. Well let me add one, since Shawshank was IMDB's #1 movie of all-time I had to list it number one on my list. But there's a big one I left out. If there is a heaven and hell, I'll be taking the elevator down, I realize this, but maybe it's not hot. Maybe some guy who looks like David Niven with a pitchfork isn't down there, maybe it's a room with a DVD player and we have to watch the one movie that gives us chills. That breaks us down to a pile of stench laden ooze. Well for me, that's the holiday car accident known as It's A Wonderful Life. I'd rather attend family members funerals than watch this train wreck. James Stewart, your a babbling idiot, please go away. I hate this movie with such passion that I actually rip the wings off of baby birds when I hear a bell during Christmas time. Don't judge me, you go to the Candlelight all the time, what do you think those are actually from a buffalo you sorry movie loving hypocrite. I so wish James Stewart died and stayed dead in this movie. It would have been about 6 minutes long and I could digest my holiday meal without Maalox. What kills me is when I watch this with men and they get teary-eyed. Are you shitting me Pile? I'd get more enjoyment watching a kid without thumbs playing Xbox than watching this crap. Oh and you know what happens when a bell rings, you get up and answer the goddamn door. Look what you've all done. You've made me angry. Hulk angry. Dammit, the Hulk is a better movie. OK I better stop before I go on a five state shooting spree! Although I'd save some innocent souls from the perils of holiday horrors!
surprisingly enough, i've seen 5 or 6 of the movies you named and i think 3 of them have tom hanks in them :)
ReplyDeleteforrest gump is one of favs & so is tom hanks (although i do agree he's getting a bit out of hand - i think ron howard has brainwashed him)