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My Perfect Meals

Ever think about your death row meal? While reading Anthony Bourdain's book, Nasty Bits, he mentioned that this is a common game played among chefs when they get together. It's an ever changing answer depending on season or moods, but it's fun to think of. Primarily, the death row meal is a dinner, but I'd like to think of my death row day, minus the execution of course. For arguments sake, I'm throwing in Brunch and snacks. Being that I'm not feeling well and missing a BBQ, my mind is just stuck on food. So here it goes.

Breakfast - my breakfast of course would start with nice hot cup of coffee with a dash of milk. I'd have two eggs over easy with home fries, two strips of bacon and a nice heap of corned beef hash. To be honest, I could even hold off on the home fries if I could double up on the corned beef hash.

Brunch - I'm not a big eggs person for brunch. Sure steak and eggs is a wonderful meal on occasion, but I'm going for that traditional NY Jewish brunch. I want a sesame bagel with a nice thick shmear of Philadelphia cream cheese, two slices of Nova Scotia lox, a nice thick slice of a beefsteak tomato, and a thin slice of raw onion. This baby better be almost as big as mouth. Once again, this with a nice cup of good coffee. Perfect.

Lunch - Lunch is a tough one. Do I go burger, hot dog, or sandwich? What about grilled cheese with tomato and bacon or even Peanut Butter and Jelly. I could go chicken cutlet w/ lettuce, tomato and a little mayo? Philly cheese steak? What about Buffalo wings? Hmm. It's tough. Well I'm gonna conjure up my past. When I was a little kid I used to eat this one sandwich almost religiously. Four, maybe five times a week this was in my lunchbox as a youngster. A nice fresh semolina bread sliced about 1/2 inch thick, slathered with Hellman's mayonnaise one whole tomato sliced and three or four slices of provolone. Perfection!

Snack - my biggest junk food weakness is potato chips. Give me a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos or Sour Cream and Onion chips and I'm good, but I'm on death row, let's add some class to this final day. I'm thinking an assortment of cheeses and a nice port. I'm going with a nice chevre, a Brie or Camembert, a nice smoked Gouda, some ricotta salata and of course an English Stilton. Accompanying my cheeses will be some sopressata and prosciutto, sliced so thin it's almost translucent. My last bite will be the Stilton with the port.

Dinner - This is where it gets tricky. Do I go with the big ass porterhouse? Maybe a perfectly designed chorizo burrito. What about a decadent Moussaka or classic paella. I was delightfully surprised when watching the last season of Top Chef. Big name celebrity chefs asked the contestants to make them their favorite meal. Most were complicated concoctions from their roots. Lidia Bastianach asked for a roasted chicken. She said, it's simple, but when done well it's as good as any meal ever. The other judges seemed almost shamed by her decision, because it was so correct. They hemmed and hawed as they ate this simple meal. I agree, a perfectly roasted chicken is as good as any meal, but my final dinner is a simple choice. I want perfectly pan seared lamb chops, medium rare, seasoned with nothing more than salt, a dash of pepper and rosemary with saffron rice (or orzo) and some sweet baby peas. If you put mint anywhere near my plate, I'll kill you. I'm on death row you know, what do I have to lose? I could die a happy man after that meal.

Dessert - I'm not much of a dessert person. I'd probably skip the dessert and have more lamb chops, maybe even throw in a Shepherd's Pie, made with lamb, of course. For the sake of argument, I'd have to say, a perfectly made pecan pie, of which only one person has ever made this. Ironically it was my brother and he was about 16 at the time. Even more odd is that he doesn't even like pecan's and wouldn't eat it. Since the last time he made it, I have yet to taste anyone's that has come anywhere close. I'm also not an ala mode guy. Just give me the warm soft pie and go away. You put some ice cold Haagen Daz on my plate there's gonna be trouble. Don't even think about the Redi-Whip. Just the pie and of course another cup of coffee.

So there you have it. My death row day will be spent gorging myself. You know, all this talk of the last meal makes me want to go out and commit a crime worthy of such delicacies. Maybe I'll go rob the local butcher, baker, the cheesemaker and maybe even the candle stick maker for good measure.

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