Hop's Thoughts

When the big things in life aren't treating you as well as you'd like, you really take solace in the little things that happen day to day to keep your spirits up.  In the past two months, anyone who knows or follows my exploits that are way too public, knows I've been down in the dumps.  I lost the girl, still out of work and my friends list is shortening by the week. In the last ten days I've been really stressed out and things have really gotten to me.  Thanksgiving brought up some stress that hadn't been around for a while.  Money got a little tight towards the end of the week and some personal stuff was coming to a boil.  During this time, little things really kept me going. A little joke between me and someone I care deeply about during a tense conversation was all I took away from it.  It made me realize that even when things are bad and we're fighting, we don't lose perspective of our feelings. As I drove up to my father's on Wednesday, ther...

For the most part, I despise holiday movies.  I hate that they use the holidays to show us that we're all alike and we can come together.  It's a sad state of affairs that we don't feel this way about our friends and family every day.  I recently had a discussion about this with someone and it's true.  We use the holidays as an excuse to be civil, when in reality, it just shows how fake most people are to begin with.  I also hate the sentimental crap that oozes from holiday films, but every once in a while it works.  So I am compiling a list of my ten favorite holiday movies.  You will not find movie that simply take place around Christmas, such as Die Hard and Lethal Weapon, even though I always try to catch those two over some of the ones on this list.  It is purely holiday movies. 10.  Babes In Toyland - I have to admit, this has lost it's luster as I've grown older, but it's a Christmas morning mainstay.  Laurel and Hardy are wonde...

I've had similar dreams and even wrote about them.  Usually when I have dreams I have them repeat over and over.  I remember them well, although sometimes there are slight changes.  I've had one dream which is similar to one I had about two years ago.  This one is much more vivid. I sit in a quiet restaurant across from a beautiful woman.  She looks radiant and a dim light softens her features.  She sits across from me, sipping champagne, or maybe it's prosecco.  We're done with our meal and just enjoying our last drink.  She is looks elegant in a beautiful black dress that shows off her curves in all the right ways.  She smiles as I talk about our plans to go away.  It's some nondescript coastal town, where we will eat seafood, walk on the beach and make love in the sand.  We will go, I promise, soon. The dream suddenly switches to us exiting the restaurant, huge white doors open on their own and lead us out onto a path which i...

You ever notice how well we humans are at  ignoring all the obvious signs and some of the more difficult to see?  You ever have an extended period of clarity where you start to realize things all at once.  It's pretty overwhelming.  The past few days and weeks have been a time of that. In the past few weeks I've realized that a lot of people I thought were friends really aren't.  I also realized that some people I thought I might have lost as friends are there, stronger than ever.  Sadly, the first group is far larger than the second. In the past few days I've realized that my grandmother doesn't have the spark that she did as little as five months ago.  The years and the ailments have caught up to her.  She has her moments, but confusion and the inability to sustain her energy has change her.  Two days ago just might have been the last Thanksgiving as I know it.  A sad realization. In the past few days, I realized I've been silly ...

Last year I wrote a blog giving thanks to those who have come and gone throughout my entire life.  This year, I'm going to narrow it down to this year.  It's been a tumultuous year for me (as they all seem to be lately), but there have been some upsides.  Sadly, I wish there was more to be thankful for, but this has been an odd year.  I'm also not going to say who the people are.  They are important to me, but for private reasons.  I am thankful for the woman who reminded me not to waste too much time worrying about the little stuff.  Her advice isn't always practical, but it works.  If you realize that time spent doing things you enjoy is more profitable than the things we do out of necessity, you will be happier.  Basically, she told me not to obsess with work at the expense of leisure.  Sounds easier said than done, but she meant it to mean, don't let the obsession with wealth keep you from enjoying life's simple pleasures which are...

Anyone knows me that back in mid-September I stopped drinking. I went about five weeks and then decided I'd break the streak one Sunday for football.  Since then I've pretty much only drank on Sundays, but this week, I fell off more than once.  I had plans for the day and good food and free booze was being offered so I knew I'd want to indulge.  Last night I told someone I drank, but it really wasn't drinking.  Then started thinking about it and told my buddy Pete, with whom I went into Brooklyn and the city about what I had said.  Now Pete's a bartender, so he knows my ways, but this was funny.  He actually repeated the story tonight for another customer and said "You know, Hopper put it best about how we're all not exactly the run of the mill guys.  How bad is it, when you have four beers with lunch.  I had two and a glass of wine.  Then two hours later you stop for another beer.  Half hour after that you stop and have another one....

There is something very odd about Sunday mornings during football season.  I don't know why, but it always seems like the sun is shining a little better.  My morning coffee tastes a little stronger.  The birds chirping seems a little more like a tune.  Everything just seems right.  As I walk down the street people smile a little bigger and everyone is friendly.  Tips of the cap.  Waves of the hand.  Even winks.  From total strangers no less.  It's a lovely thing.  I always seem to have a little bounce to my step.  And then I walk into a dimly lit bar, settle into a stool, sip a beer and yell and scream obscenities at my friends and the television for 11 hours.  Something just not right about that.

It's that time of year again.  The leaves are changing.  Many are falling to the ground.  The crisp winds blow and scarves and gloves have replaced sandals and shorts.  Some see it as the end of the nice weather and the beginning of the bad.  Some see it as the holiday season.  I see it as a happy time.  It's a time I know I will spend with some family and maybe some friends.  It's also a sad time, because it reminds me of the wonderful holidays spent with my mother and my grandparents who aren't with me anymore.  It is a time of reflection, although I've come to realize, my nickname could be "Mirror," with the amount of time I spend reflecting.  For me, it is a completely special time. For the past seven years, I always seem to get sick the week of Thanksgiving and for some odd reason I don't think this year will be any different.  I can feel the tickle starting in my throat.  We'll wait and see.  I'd rather be sick thi...

When you spend as much time alone as I do, you tend to think about things that bring, or brought you happiness.  It's those little moments that tear away the sadness at times.  Over the last few weeks I've thought a lot about those times.  So many of them seem so insignificant now, but at the time they meant so much to me.  I always loved going into a movie theater when it was light out and coming out when it was dark. I'm not sure why, but this always made me feel great when I was a kid.  I never really thought about why, but I think it somehow made me feel older.  When I was really young, I'd only go to matinees, so before I could go to the movies at night, this was the next step.  Sometimes I would go out at night in high school and go to play basketball in the local park in dark.  Usually it was short lived, because the sound of the bouncing ball on in the silent night would make quite a bit of noise and someone would call the police....

Just flipped through some news and read that NBC's Prime Suspect will not be renewed for a second season.  It is arguably the best new show to come on Network TV in the last five years.  Easily the best. It has the grittiness of past great cop shows like Hill Street Blues and NYPD Blue before it jumped the shark (which surprisingly was when David Caruso left).  It's humorous enough to get some laughs and the people are real and you care about them.  It's sort of like The Shield in that you care, but you also dislike some of them for different reasons.  The real tragedy, is Maria Bello's character  Jane Timony is one of the best, most real characters on television.  So this show will be taken off, but another year of Survivor, Dancing with the (B-List) stars and crap like this will be renewed.  As America gets dumber my the night, the chance for shows that actually entertain will be lost.  I remember when I was a kid, PBS showed wonderful se...

Sometimes I want to say things, but I don't know if it's Facebook suitable, so I usually write it on Twitter.  Twitter gives me this anonymous place to vent or just air my dirty laundry without much reply or judgement from others.   So listed below are some of my tweets to show you where my head is most days. Sometimes when my friend posts pics of the food at his restaurant actually salt my frozen pizza with tears! Sometimes when I see people I talk about the weather...what I really mean to say is "I would rather swallow battery acid than talk to you." Had a dream last night but I can't remember....oh wait, that wasn't a dream that was yesterday. Why haven't strip joints jumped on groupons? How times have changed. remember when man cave meant vagina? Why is it that I'd rather be alone lately than hanging with "friends." says a lot about my friends. Things not to do when sitting at home on a Friday night after arguing with som...

Now I'm going to preface this with saying that I don't consider most of the new stuff country music, so my list will not have anything by Toby Keith.  Kris Kristofferson said it best when he said "Toby Keith did for country music what pantyhose did for finger fucking."  You also won't hear stuff like Rascal Flatts or Lady Antebellum, because to me, one is crap and the other is pop.  I'm also not going to include stuff like Johnny Cash, because I honestly believe that most of Johnny Cash's songs transcend a genre and to be honest, I'd probably end up having ten Johnny Cash songs on my list.  No this is going to be real country.  Dolly, Kenny and Willie.  That kinda country! So I started with a list. My list had a lot of classics, some new stuff and some duets.  For the most part I tried to get stuff out that really isn't country.  I don't consider Ray Charles or Elvis country.  I don't consider Emmy Lou Harris country.  I also don't kn...

When I was younger I had a wonderful core of people who let me see the world on my own, but were always there to protect me.  My mother would allow me to walk to school alone, but later in life I found out she trailed behind.  My father opened my mind to all sorts of things, but always made sure I knew there were alternatives.  My grandparents showered me with gifts and made me feel I could do what I wanted, but deep down I knew they were watching every step.  My neighborhood seemed like a utopia of children playing, free of parental restraint, but all the while every mother took their turn watching over their flock.  It is because of this, I am who I am. I recently made a suggestion to someone.  Someone my own age, actually slightly older and said this with nothing but love and care.  It was received with disdain and was not only rejected, but I was made to feel badly about this.  Not my care, but was told that not only could they take care of ...

Remember when it was called Armistice Day?  Me either. Well at one time, this is what it was called and it was strictly  a day to remember those who gave their life to serving their country.  In the 50's the holiday was changed to Veteran's Day and was  to be a celebration to honor all of those who served their country.  Some used to salute the flag at 11am in remembrance of the signing of the Armistice by the Germans to end WWI. In modern times it's a federal holiday and while many celebrate and honor those they know it's lost some of it's luster with civilians.  There are many reasons why, including unpopular wars, lack of respect for the military by many who are tired of hearing of the amounts of money dumped into it and a society that in general doesn't care about anything that doesn't visibly benefit themselves. Now I am far from a flag waving patriot, but I do love my country.  I would die for many aspects and many of the freedoms afforded us...

Nobody has been able to avoid the stories of Jerry Sandusky and the awful things that took place thanks to the sick mind of Penn State's ex-coach.  As the story has unfolded, the tales of these atrocities seem to go back further and further.  Apparently, as many as seven people knew of these atrocities and didn't do anything.  The real argument seems to be whether or not the men who did nothing committed a crime and should have their lives ruined.  As it stands now, the only person who has maintained their job is the man who actually walked in and saw what Coach Sandusky had done to the child.  He was even going to coach, but has received enough death threats to scare him away. I am not going to defend or persecute anyone.  I have been a Penn State fan for nearly 30 years and Joe Paterno was a hero of mine.  He is an icon.  He stood for everything that was great about college athletics.  Or so it appeared.  The latest public revelation...

Something happened Monday that I can not let go.  To be honest, the quiet weekend, the drunken Sunday and the excellent to Monday overshadowed something, but given  time to think it's a true reflection of our society.  Not a very pretty one either. As people know, I run an after school program.  For years, we had a relatively lax dismissal policy, but one day a mother came to pick her child up and he wasn't there.  I knew he went home with another mother, but couldn't remember which one.  With no sign out sheet, there was nothing to check.  As the mother became more upset, I started to doubt whether I saw him leave with someone or had imagined it.  Roughly an hour and forty five minutes later, after calling the police, searching every classroom and under every desk in the school, the mother slapped her hand on her hip and said "I'm a dope, he had a play date today."  This fear subsided, but the anger didn't.  This would never have happ...

I was just looking at my Netflix activity and realized I have only rented forty seven movies this year.  A very slow year by my standards.  So I decided to break down my activity based on what I've seen.  As always, I rate every movie I've seen using there five star system. Eight movies received one star (hated it) with the three worst movies I saw this year being Hall Pass, Dinner with Schmucks and The Crazies.  The Crazies is probably the worst movie I've seen in a while.  I should also probably add that The Social Network was also in this 1-star list. Seven movies received two stars (didn't like it).  With some being very popular films such as Taken, Catfish and Iron Man 2.  One movie I was shocked to find on this list was Stone with Edward Norton and Robert DeNiro.  Nineteen movie received three stars (liked it), but I should point out that when I give three stars to a movie, it's pretty much a range of 2.5-3.5 and I'm a little picky abo...

The rice was sticking together.  I hadn't even nuked it to make it warm.  The hot sauce dripped from the chicken and I chewed around the bones to get every last bite.  Hot coffee was probably not the drink to be washing it down with, but I was in the mood.  I was tired, back sore from an ailment I'm not sure of.  I saw a little screen pop up on my computer and saw the tiny picture of an old friend.  The chat was brief, but telling. Two years has gone by since we last spoke.  We've e-mailed once or twice and maybe exchanged pleasantries via Facebook, but that is all.  He ended the conversation with a few sentences I don't care to share.  He reminded me what true friendship is all about.  I needed that. True friends don't need booze to have a good time.  Acquaintances need that.  True friends don't need sex.  That's what we need when we run out of things to talk about.  True friends don't need to speak, because the ...

Dear 3am, Hello my friend, we meet again.  So many times we've spent the quiet hours together.  At times they aren't so quiet.  Remember that time singing karaoke and dancing like a fool this Spring?  Oh, you, the music, the girls jumping up and down...a few shots of Jager and we were sore as hell the next day.   It seemed like good times at the time, but the memories are fleeting now.  It was an empty time.  Remember recently you and I watched a movie.  Popcorn, coffee and some foreign film about Samurais.  The movie was OK.  You fell asleep, I stayed and watched the sunrise.  You always leave me with another, but you always come back for me.  I can count on you.  A few years ago we sat together and said our goodbyes to my mother?  I cried and you stood there by my side.  You let us be alone for one last minute.  The next night, I couldn't be with you.  I was tired, but I know you watched ov...

I have dwindled my TV watching down to three shows, although there are a few I'll watch in a pinch.  That being said the state of Network television during prime time hours is disgraceful.  Filled with reality trash and ridiculous concepts, the networks have given up trying.  Or have they?  No, they are still trying, it's the viewers that have stopped, because at the end of the day, we will sit in front of imbecilic shows and laugh and cry and say they are great, no matter how much they suck.  What lies ahead is my feelings on the current prime time lineups.  Some might have reviews and some might have ideas for changing them.  I'm going to list the best shows, worst shows and comments on others from each night. Monday: Best shows: Two Broke Girls & How I Met Your Mother - actually HIMYM is awful, but it happens to have one of the best characters on Television in Barney, played by Neal Patrick Harris.  The rest of the cast is obnoxious and ...

You ever get a little depressed and think back to some silly moments in your life when you were happiest doing something completely out of the ordinary?  Of course we remember great meals with loved ones and trips we took.  Those are the memories we think about all the time.  I'm talking about the random moments that made a day, a week or possibly meant more than you know.  I have been thinking about those moments quite a bit lately.  Possibly out of depression or just out of the desire to remember those I've lost touch with.  Here are a few special ones. I remember when I was in my early 20's and my girlfriend and I took this little girl out to lunch at Friendly's.  I had this little growth on the side of my nose and it was driving me crazy.  My girlfriend convinced me that nobody could even see it and I was being silly.  So we pick up the little girl and take her out.  She was maybe 2 1/2-3.  We're ordering food and having a goo...

Remember when you were a kid and you'd run down stairs on Saturday mornings and watch cartoons all morning?  These shows somewhat molded us into who we are today.  We grew up on odd looking characters, incredible amounts of violence and at time adult humor we weren't ready for.  Along the way, we became understanding of people's differences, but never really saw these characters as people.  In many instance, they weren't.  Here are a few of the shows and how they molded me. Captain Caveman was one of my favorites.  I don't remember what show it was on, but I'm pretty certain it wasn't its own 30 minute cartoon.  I remember thinking to myself, he doesn't look like a man, but he also doesn't look like a primate, but he was funny.  Now looking at him, he looks like a hairy ballbag with a big nose.  Kinda creepy in a lot of ways.  Not sure what I got out of this, but loved when he yelled and the fact he could fly, which never really made m...

The average person who tells me I'm full of shit, knows more about Kim Kardashian than they do about Obama's presidency. What if you did walk a mile in someone elses shoes and they felt comfortable.  What would you say to them? One of the most profound movie lines on dating comes from the movie Clerks, when Silent Bob finally breaks his silence and says "You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you."   I had a conversation with someone about eye contact a few days ago.  I think it's overrated.  Sometimes when I'm speaking with someone and they are looking at me, I can see right through them and while I'm giving them sound advice, they are thinking about who will win Dancing with the Stars.  I can see it in their eyes. I am almost never tired, yet I yawn more than any human on the planet.  Thoughts? I'm thinking about writing a blog ...