Skip to main content

Realizing

You ever notice how well we humans are at  ignoring all the obvious signs and some of the more difficult to see?  You ever have an extended period of clarity where you start to realize things all at once.  It's pretty overwhelming.  The past few days and weeks have been a time of that.

In the past few weeks I've realized that a lot of people I thought were friends really aren't.  I also realized that some people I thought I might have lost as friends are there, stronger than ever.  Sadly, the first group is far larger than the second.

In the past few days I've realized that my grandmother doesn't have the spark that she did as little as five months ago.  The years and the ailments have caught up to her.  She has her moments, but confusion and the inability to sustain her energy has change her.  Two days ago just might have been the last Thanksgiving as I know it.  A sad realization.

In the past few days, I realized I've been silly about something.  I realize a family member has been sillier.  I lost someone important to me for two years.  Important to my family.  I have her back.  I'm thankful beyond words. 

I realize that my father is not a young man anymore.  His fuse is shorter, his stamina is less.  He's worked the last few years,  Most of the last 15 years.  Taking care of others.  Maybe it's where I get my attributes.  Caring for others before myself.  He's tired of it at 77.  I'm tired of it at 41, but we endure.

I came to the realization that I have to let go of someone I love.  That the way I want things aren't the way they are meant to be.  Do I think this person would be my soul mate and we'd be happy together? I don't have a doubt, but we'd be happy at the expense of one or both of us being ourselves 100%.  Many would say that relationship success is based on the ability to give up some of yourself for others, but to change who you are doesn't work.  Maybe one day we'll be in different places and come together again.  It would work, but things will change.  Who knows if we'll be able to change then.

I came to the realization that the harder you try to make something good for others, the more chance someone else will try to make it harder for you.  If you do something selfless, someone else will take credit for it.  I have done my best to build something and time and time again, someone comes in, someone with no history of the situation and destroys it.  Leaving me to pick up the pieces and make it better.

I've come to the realization there is nothing here for me anymore.  Nothing to come home to.  Sure I have friends, but to come home to an empty home.  To come home to messages from a special someone telling me they can't wait to see me would be nice.  While I was away, I think I had a handful of texts, most replies.  Almost nobody asked how my day went.  Those who did, were sincere, but it was mostly because I had asked first.  It would be nice to have someone really care.

I came to the realization that honesty, care, selflessness, compassion and love are attributes of someone who is seen as weak.  A loser.  These aren't things that are revered.  It's how I was brought up and now, at 41, it's not a positive.  That is a realization that is hard to take.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

White Privilege

This was a post I wrote on Facebook after surprisingly not seeing any moaning about the Documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas, titled White People Dayyum! I just scrolled my timeline and not a single white person got their feelings hurt by White People. I unfortunately haven't seen it, but the number of fake accounts that popped up on twitter, tells me it was a damn good show. Here's the thing. If someone of color aka non-white says "White Privilege," are you offended? If you said yes, then you are exhibiting white privilege. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or study, how you stayed out of trouble, because here's the thing, that is entirely the point. Somewhere out there, there are 100 Black, Spanish, Native American, Arab, Asian, who worked and studied as hard as you and never got in trouble, but they don't have what you "earned" or achieved. Stop looking at the one person you know who isn't white that achieved as your benchmark. Loo...

Quickie Review - Finding Vivian Maier

While I thoroughly enjoyed the film, especially the first 15-20 minutes, I was a little bothered by the way the film played out. The interviews with the clearly disturbed brother, sister and the mother, who obviously, was in for a cut, didn't need to be in the film. Then the woman who suggested abuse, yet seemed to have her life defined by Maier, as she tried to muster every ounce of emotion and fake guilt. Her friend, more than happy to be party of the charade. People who talk about abuse for the first time, usually don't do so on camera. The fact these scenes were so prominent, shows that they felt wronged that they were not rewarded. Maloof on the other hand, seems to disappear from the documentary during this part, almost hiding away from the fact, he went from complete praise, to even making money off of her, to destroying her personal legacy. He almost mentions the family of boys taking care of her rent, as an afterthought. Her burial spot, never shown, yet a video of her...

If You Listen To One Speech - Lana Wachowski

http://www.rollingstone.com/movies/videos/lana-wachowski-opens-up-about-difficult-past-and-attempted-suicide-20121024 Today I saw a link to a video for a speech by Lana Wachowski.  The last name rung a bell, but I could't put my finger on it. Lana, used to be Larry, one of the writer, director, producers of the Matrix trilogy, V for Vendetta and the upcoming Cloud Atlas.  Lana is transgendered and has "come out" as a woman.  She was being honored by the Human Rights Campaign. I didn't know what to expect when this broad woman with crazy hair and a raspy voice began to speak.  She began with the usual pleasantries and told of her hair dresser. She then tells of her desire to be a quiet person and how hard the success of the Matrix movies made this.  The first ten minutes is telling of how she's not quite ready to be this spokesperson.  Then she speaks about the new movie Cloud Atlas and reveals the heart of the movie and this speech. She states,"The resp...