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3am....my best friend

Dear 3am,

Hello my friend, we meet again.  So many times we've spent the quiet hours together.  At times they aren't so quiet.  Remember that time singing karaoke and dancing like a fool this Spring?  Oh, you, the music, the girls jumping up and down...a few shots of Jager and we were sore as hell the next day.   It seemed like good times at the time, but the memories are fleeting now.  It was an empty time. 

Remember recently you and I watched a movie.  Popcorn, coffee and some foreign film about Samurais.  The movie was OK.  You fell asleep, I stayed and watched the sunrise.  You always leave me with another, but you always come back for me.  I can count on you. 

A few years ago we sat together and said our goodbyes to my mother?  I cried and you stood there by my side.  You let us be alone for one last minute.  The next night, I couldn't be with you.  I was tired, but I know you watched over me.  Protecting me from the past, getting me ready for the next day.  Life goes on they say.  For some, I guess.

You used to stay up with my mother when she would wait for me.  Never realized how much she cared back then.  You did.  Stood by her side til the end.  You did the same for me when I worried about others.  It was different then.  I felt like you mocked me at times.  Maybe you were pointing out how silly I was.  Caring for those who didn't care as much.

Sitting  next to me watching me type at night.  So often you give me inspiration.  At times it's the silence you bring.  A brisk walk down the street or to the gas station for a snack.  Remember the old days when we'd stop for chips and soda at 7-11. 

I look back at all the nights we've been together.  Seems like we've spent more nights together than we haven't.  Sometimes you keeping me up, even though you know I have a busy tomorrow.  I never hold you at fault.  That's not what true friends do. 

I think back to one night when you introduced me to someone special.  A silly drunken night in retrospect.  A false hope of change, similar to that promised by our president.  But maybe the change is happening now and I don't see the signs. Maybe it's always been changing, despite seeming so familiar. 

You've been there to see me laugh and to see me cry.  To watch me make love and to watch me argue.  You've been there for so many of the highs and lows of my life.  So many have occurred in your presence.  You never interfere.  You are the friend that listens.  The one that never judges. The one that is there, like the footsteps in the sand.  Carrying me through life, when I feel I can't carry myself.  You're there when I'm doing my best thinking, but not always making my best decisions.  Most of all you've kept me company when I'm most alone and you're never jealous when I ignore you.  I always know you're there.  I can feel you.  At times, I feel you know me better than anyone, because you've seen me at my strongest and at my weakest.  You've seen me guarded and seen me at my most vulnerable.  Sometimes I secretly wish you'd leave me alone, but when I'm alone, you're all I have.  I can't forget that. Ever.

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