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Recent Thoughts

When was the last time we had a new holiday?  I think August needs a holiday.  I think it's the only month without a holiday of any recognition. 

Is there any bread in China?

Has anyone ever told the people at John Deere, that if they are going to use a deer as their logo, they should have spelled it correctly.

Why is it that whenever a girl asks me if I want to be friends with benefits, she asks if dental is included?

Remember in HS when your parents used to make fun of how much time you spent on the phone?

I always wonder what ever happened to the Apex Tech guy. 

In any given week, I spend more time talking, texting and e-mailing ex-girlfriends than any other people.   I wonder why I'm single.

When is Two and a Half Men going to change the title to Three Men?  That kid is like 30!

During Thanksgiving, my father raised a glass and said "I'm so happy you could all be here, god damn it."  So sentimental.  It was like toasting and saying grace all in one blasphemous moment.

What is it about alcohol that makes me so awesome at sending texts?  Good grief!

I realized that nothing in my life can be better than perfect, because the expression is "the cherry on top" and I hate cherries.

I wrote a blog about celebrity crushes once.  It is the blog that gets the most internet hits.  Apparently, every horny kid in the world with google gets sent to my page.  Hope they don't masturbate to my picture.

I have had Chinese food at least once every week since early August. It has me wondering if there are any Chinese restaurants open for breakfast.  I also wonder what they would call egg on a roll.

I need to write something happy.  Would help if I was happy, but I'm going to try later.  I know all seven people who read this will be in suspense.

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