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Thinking

I don't think anyone spends as much time just thinking about stuff as I do.  At times, it's dwelling on something.  It could be seen as obsessing.  It's just something I've grown accustomed to doing.  In many instances there are negative effects due to this.  I think way too much about people I'm not with and wish I was.  Not always people I'm romantically involved with, but people I care about.  I think about the past and when times were better.  I think about my mother incessantly.  Not a day that goes by I don't miss her and wish I could speak to her.  Last night, I admitted to someone that a lot of my problems, such as insomnia, all started when she passed.  I used to be oblivious to stress and would let pretty much everything role off my back.  Now I can't stop thinking about things. 

My friend gave me a goal and told me to accomplish this within the next 38 days.  It's funny, because it's a small goal, but one with multiple benefits.  I'm going to accomplish this goal and hopefully in doing so I can do it in a way that not only helps me in one aspect of life, but shows me how to stop dwelling on things and to achieve them.  To be happy about them and in turn reward myself with that feeling.  I've spent a lot of time in a sort of limbo and have spent too much time worrying about it, without doing anything to get myself out of it.  This is a small step, but in many ways a giant step.  Hopefully, I just get it done and don't let this be another thing I put off and worry about.  I need this to happen.  For my health, my sanity and because it needs to be done. 

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