December 26th. For many of us, it's a day of relief. Even returning to work in past years has felt OK. I actually laid off the history lessons on Jesus and Santa this time around. I kept my disdain for this time of year to myself for the most part. Of course I threw in the occasional barb, but I respected the day for the most part and left my random thoughts inside my brain and off this blog and my social media sites.
This year I'm up in Ithaca, like last, but so different from two years ago, when I stayed home and did my own thing. I don't like this time of year and not for the completely misconstrued religious connotations the holidays takes on, but because of the forced love and appreciation. As I looked at so many pictures on Facebook and Twitter it made me wonder how it happens. We live in a society where we must share our family time with the world? To brag and boast about the amount of money we spent or the amount of food leftover, which most likely will end up in the trash. There are wondrous things we create and horrible things and this past few weeks I've seen the best and worst of people.
I've seen people devastated by a hurricane, literally bailed out by other's generosity. Facebook and social media helped in this cause, by making it real with tales and pictures littering the Internet. Then came the tragedies, which got more media attention. Guns, an issue and a delicate one. Little children and firefighters losing their lives and now the media circus splashes their names and faces. I find it ironic that the heroic, young teacher has become the face of this tragedy. A beautiful young girl, who should be honored and remembered has trumped even the children's deaths, but I wonder the reason. Could it be we need a pretty face to mourn fully? The awful tragedy, where two firefighters were killed in an ambush. My heart goes out to them, but let's not forget how many other's died at the hands of firearms or who died fighting for our country or defending it here.
This time of year is when everyone's religiousness comes out and in the meantime the Vatican is condemning gays for ruining humanity not one day before their loving lord's birthday. An article I saw on twitter spoke of the Pope's demanding less violence, but the article goes on to say that the Vatican is the greatest shareholder of a little company called Baretta. One of the most successful and popular guns in the world. The irony and hypocrisy is troubling. A time of year when we remember all those who passed, but we seem to spend so much time on celebrities. Myself included. Of course, those of us who grew up with certain characters, feel a need to mourn, even for a second, because we feel connected with them.
During this year, I lost two very young friends. Not great friends, but friends nonetheless. My ex girlfriend lost her mother earlier this year after a long bout with emphysema. Two good friends lost their mother just this past week. Countless other's lost people I'm sure, but there were no news flashes or weeks of internet postings. They were normal people. Good people. They were all different. A beautiful and successful young woman who succumbed to some inner demons. A young man, who I knew almost half his life, who brought so much joy to others. Three loving mother's who loved their children more than anything. Then there are the others, who we are reminded of from past years. Their absence takes away from the joys of this time. The festive nature seems but a memory at times.
The past two days, I've sat and relaxed. I've watched as my young brother, his wife and my father cooked up a storm. I offered a hand here and there and did my duty by grabbing the never ending Christmas dishes. I laughed and told stories. I listened to others. I shed a tear for my mother once or twice. My father's cat, who absolutely adored me, is no longer with us. I thought about the absurdity of this holiday. The way it's become so much about us and not about others. I received one gift this year. A grandmother who refused to agree to the "rules" demanded it. I gave a few, but gave more to people that I will never know than in any year past. It seemed like the right thing to do. Why fake a feeling for yourself, when you can bring that sincere feeling to others. I'm not bashing the spirit of the holiday, but it's completely lost it's allure for me. The best moment of this holiday for me was split between two moments. One was when a friend, who has no reason to give me a gift, gave me one for my father, who he has met once and my grandmother who he will never meet. The second was making lunch for my grandmother on Christmas day. Just the two of us and for those brief few minutes while we talked alone, knowing this might be her last.
This year I'm up in Ithaca, like last, but so different from two years ago, when I stayed home and did my own thing. I don't like this time of year and not for the completely misconstrued religious connotations the holidays takes on, but because of the forced love and appreciation. As I looked at so many pictures on Facebook and Twitter it made me wonder how it happens. We live in a society where we must share our family time with the world? To brag and boast about the amount of money we spent or the amount of food leftover, which most likely will end up in the trash. There are wondrous things we create and horrible things and this past few weeks I've seen the best and worst of people.
I've seen people devastated by a hurricane, literally bailed out by other's generosity. Facebook and social media helped in this cause, by making it real with tales and pictures littering the Internet. Then came the tragedies, which got more media attention. Guns, an issue and a delicate one. Little children and firefighters losing their lives and now the media circus splashes their names and faces. I find it ironic that the heroic, young teacher has become the face of this tragedy. A beautiful young girl, who should be honored and remembered has trumped even the children's deaths, but I wonder the reason. Could it be we need a pretty face to mourn fully? The awful tragedy, where two firefighters were killed in an ambush. My heart goes out to them, but let's not forget how many other's died at the hands of firearms or who died fighting for our country or defending it here.
This time of year is when everyone's religiousness comes out and in the meantime the Vatican is condemning gays for ruining humanity not one day before their loving lord's birthday. An article I saw on twitter spoke of the Pope's demanding less violence, but the article goes on to say that the Vatican is the greatest shareholder of a little company called Baretta. One of the most successful and popular guns in the world. The irony and hypocrisy is troubling. A time of year when we remember all those who passed, but we seem to spend so much time on celebrities. Myself included. Of course, those of us who grew up with certain characters, feel a need to mourn, even for a second, because we feel connected with them.
During this year, I lost two very young friends. Not great friends, but friends nonetheless. My ex girlfriend lost her mother earlier this year after a long bout with emphysema. Two good friends lost their mother just this past week. Countless other's lost people I'm sure, but there were no news flashes or weeks of internet postings. They were normal people. Good people. They were all different. A beautiful and successful young woman who succumbed to some inner demons. A young man, who I knew almost half his life, who brought so much joy to others. Three loving mother's who loved their children more than anything. Then there are the others, who we are reminded of from past years. Their absence takes away from the joys of this time. The festive nature seems but a memory at times.
The past two days, I've sat and relaxed. I've watched as my young brother, his wife and my father cooked up a storm. I offered a hand here and there and did my duty by grabbing the never ending Christmas dishes. I laughed and told stories. I listened to others. I shed a tear for my mother once or twice. My father's cat, who absolutely adored me, is no longer with us. I thought about the absurdity of this holiday. The way it's become so much about us and not about others. I received one gift this year. A grandmother who refused to agree to the "rules" demanded it. I gave a few, but gave more to people that I will never know than in any year past. It seemed like the right thing to do. Why fake a feeling for yourself, when you can bring that sincere feeling to others. I'm not bashing the spirit of the holiday, but it's completely lost it's allure for me. The best moment of this holiday for me was split between two moments. One was when a friend, who has no reason to give me a gift, gave me one for my father, who he has met once and my grandmother who he will never meet. The second was making lunch for my grandmother on Christmas day. Just the two of us and for those brief few minutes while we talked alone, knowing this might be her last.
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