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My Weird Food Stuff

I need something to clear my head right now.  This is the best thing I could come up with.  Just some food related things that I've noticed about myself recently. I consider myself a bit of a foodie.  I grew up in a house where restaurant level meals we're a norm.  To be honest, to say you could eat as well at a restaurant is actually an insult to my mother (and father), being that I've never had anything in a restaurant that my mother couldn't make better, with maybe one exception; the porterhouse steak at Peter Luger's.  Some call it being a foodie, others call it food snobbery.  As many know, I'm critical on most subjects, but food is probably the one thing I have the most issues with.  That being said here are some weird things I've noticed recently.

I absolutely hate pot roast.  Cooking a shitty, tough piece of meat for nine hours, doesn't make it good, it only makes it a shitty, tender piece of meat.  I'm pretty much opposed to all stews, with the exception of a true boeuf bourguignon.  Anything that calls for a bottle of wine, lardons and those little pearl onions has to be good.

Last night I had a drink called a cereal bowl.  It was Baileys and Three Olives Fruit Loop flavored vodka.  The idea is that it tastes like the bottom of the cereal bowl at the end of the meal.  It dawned on me as I sipped it, that it was the first time in my life I was tasting Fruit Loops.  It was borderline disgusting.  I tasted Captain Crunch for the first time in my life last summer.  I realize I haven't been missing much.

People think that because of my size I eat poorly, but for the most part, my problem isn't nutritional value, but portion size.  In any given week, I probably eat more vegetables than nearly anyone you know who isn't a vegan.  On average I eat vegetables with about 90% of my meals.  The only time I don't is when I'm out of them or I want something simple, like an English muffin with cream cheese. I don't eat as much fruit as I should, but I prefer fruit for dessert than sweets when available.  I can't remember a day in recent memory, where I didn't have a tomato during at least meal per day.

I don't like pizzeria pizza anymore.  It's not the same as when I was a kid.  The thin crust and the mush they call cheese is terrible, not to mention I hate marinara sauce.  To me, the perfect slice is thick enough that the end droops from the weight.  The sauce should be applied sparingly and needs to be seasoned with lots of Italian seasoning, especially oregano.  Then the cheese needs to be sparingly applied, as to give a layer, but not to the point it is sliding off.  The better the mozzarella, the better the pie, so it should also be whole milk buffalo mozzarella in my opinion.  While toppings are good, a perfect slice doesn't need oily pepperoni or thawed out sausage.  Those ingredients need to be fresh too, if added.  There was a day when one slice and a salad was a meal for $2.50.  Nowadays, a slice costs you $3-5.

I had never had macaroni and cheese from a box until I was nearly 40.  I haven't had it since.
I haven't chewed gum in almost 20 years, unless it came from the center of a Blow Pop.
I have never once in my life made scrambled eggs.
I have never bought a container of ice cream to bring to my house.
In the last two years, I have had McDonald's twice, Five Guys twice, Burger King once and Taco Bell once.  Other than Subway, I have not had any other fast food in that period.
I can't remember the last time I went to NYC and didn't get a knish or a hot dog with onions.
My favorite food is lamb, which I eat about three times a year.
My second favorite food is escargot, which I eat maybe once a year.
I eat dessert less than once a month on average.  My favorite is pecan pie.
I had never had uni until last year.  It is now one of my favorite foods.
I have ordered Italian food in a restaurant once in the last three years.  I haven't enjoyed an Italian meal in a restaurant in almost eight with the exception of the one time over a year ago.  It was arguably the best meal I've had in a restaurant in almost five years.

People know me as someone who loves to go out and have a few beers or cocktails and probably think I drink all the time.  The reality is, I only drink when I'm out or at someone's house.  In the eight years I have lived in my apartment, I have drank one beer, one bottle of wine (which I bought for cooking), 2/3 of a bottle of limoncello which was given to me as a gift and an airplane bottle of vodka I bought for a bloody Mary.

I have not had moussaka, saurbraten, brisket or a decent homemade cheesecake since my mother passed away.  No offense to anyone who has made cheesecake I've tasted, but my mother's was infamous and nobody has ever come close to matching it.

One of my biggest regrets in life was not cooking more when I was younger, so that I could have made a great meal for my mother and father.




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