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Depressed

I truly need a sign.  A sign of things getting better.  Every day, I'm amazed at how little things keep me going when everyone, it seems, tries to slow down our evolution.  Half the world and most my friends, spew rhetoric instilled in them by some creepy mentor or sound piece that makes me question their sanity.  I'm constantly hearing people bad mouthing their neighbors parenting skills, when theirs are so severely lacking that I worry about their kids.  Today I saw a little kid almost get hit by a car while riding a scooter.  The mother was oblivious, but what bothered me most was that the car, who had to have seen the little girl from the way it slowed down, never actually stopped.  Today I had a child tell me he didn't care if he was in trouble, because his mom "wouldn't make him in trouble at home."  What can I say to that?  I can threaten to have the child removed from the class, but who am I hurting?  The only reflection that will be made is that I can't handle a maladjusted five year old.

I just spent an hour reading about how much more we spend on giving prisoners food, shelter, education and health care than we do our nations youth.  I read about how the number of people incarcerated and the total is more than 14 states in the US.  If you count the number of people on parole or who have been released from prison the number is more than all but 13 states.  We have 25% of the world's inmates and 5% of it's population.  Something very wrong is happening in this land we live in and I fear it will not change in my lifetime.

I'm depressed at how people embrace ignorance.  How lying is second nature to some.  I remember a time when I could tell when people lied, but now they have mastered this deception.  I can not understand this land's love of frivolity and hatred of facts and learning.

Today, a child asked me a math question and when I answered it in my head, he was amazed and wanted to know how I did it so fast.  His eyes lit up as I explained.  I watched a child who was scared to try something, slowly open up and make an attempt, as his nanny reassured him she wouldn't let him fall.  I had two kids hold my hand as they told me a story.  There are so many days when these kids, with their innocence and desire to learn, make my day.  It is their faces and comments that make me hope their is a silver lining at the end of this story.  I fear every day for them and what the future holds for them, but more than anything, I fear those who will mold their future, because I feel they are the problem.


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