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My Recent Trip Up North

If you see me walking in 17 degree weather with a gym bag, you know I'm not going to the gym.  Don't beep; pick my ass up!

Kids (18-25) spit way too much.

Hipster college kids smoking cigars while waiting for the bus back to school.  Knock that shit off.

If you're waiting inside a warm office and you see that someone else has been waiting outside for 40 minutes, because there was no room in that office, don't push them out of the way so you can get on the bus 20 seconds before them. 

I have finally reached that age where I have to accept "that girl is too young to sit next to when there are older people with open seats near them."

Don't wear lime green jeans with a fox fur coat, because yes, we all think you're a hooker.

Cheese Doodles = not bus food.

If you grab the back of my seat and you touch my head, it is perfectly acceptable to apologize, I will not get mad.

Talking on your cell phone while on a coach bus is obnoxious.  Trying to get your girl to send you a pic of her naked is fine.  Not on said bus.

If you have emphysema, please don't take the bus.

Finding out that you are on the wrong bus totally sucks, but do you really think the bus driver is turning around because you made a mistake?

You're a woman and you are attractive and I could care less, get your feet off the damn empty seat.

 Nobody on a bus or any other time needs their ring tone on high.  Unless they are 105 years old.  Also, if you are going to annoy everyone, please don't have the default ringer set.  That weird banjo sounding, 70's disco ring is just not right.

Finally, it's your stop and you chose to sit in the back because you....
a. think it's cool
b. you have a weak bladder
c. admire Rosa Parks
Let the people in front off first.  It goes faster and it just makes fucking sense!




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