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The Getaway?

I'm considering taking a month off. A month of from the norm. There are people who I've come to know who sicken me. The sight of them, even their words, cause stomach churning nausea. There are others I've come to appreciate tenfold. My critical eye seems to be cast on everyone, including myself lately. I'm bored. Bored with chats about weather, marital woes and how hard life is.

I live a boring life, spending hours laying alone thinking about past times where I spent hours with people wishing I was somewhere else. I'm where I wanted to be then and there is where I want to be now.

Cared for, loved. Unappreciated then, I crave it now. Boredom has always been my undoing. It's stripped me of common sense, of decency and of doing what's right. It's cost me money, relationships and friends. It's turned hours of lost time into days, weeks and months. I fear years.  Boredom is my cross, but it's not a heavy burden, but more like a parasite. Maybe it's those little fish that follow larger ones, feeding off of them, but not giving anything in return.  For years I've wanted to write and the thoughts flow through me, but the energy finds it's say to blogs and tweets.

Try comedy some say, but my humor is dry and many times hurtful. I look at the out if shape vegan and relish in their misery, all the time ignoring my own lost health. Just do it, some say, and I roll my eyes at their cliches and their silly suggestions.

I'm tired. Physically and mentally. Tired of motivational suggestions from those who ate doing what they dud 20 years ago, misery written all over their withered bodies. Tired of the man who can't keep his marriage together telling me the importance of virtue. The fat girl telling me I eat too much starch or is it too little? The person who has no self esteem telling me I don't strive to be something. The drug addict telling me I need to slow down on the drink. I'm tired of constructive criticism by those who are destructive forces in their own lives.

I want to be able to sleep for 12 hours a day.
I want to wake to bagels and lox every day.
I want to fall asleep to a second breath.
I want to walk without pain.
I want to make others laugh.
I want to watch movies with someone who appreciates the art as much as I.
I want to eat with those who taste what I taste.
I want to feel that funny feeling only few make you feel.
I want to feel comfortable again
Do I need to get away from it all to find it again? And if I away, where to?






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