Hop's Thoughts

Seems like forever since I visited this silly page. What started out as a way to joke and point fun at all things ludicrous ans absurd, my life included, then turned into movie reviews without any real review and some type of therapy. I realize now, how alone I am. The rain is keeping me awake, tickling my ear drums with it's soft sounds, as it cascades down some metal object out my window. It's ironic it would choose today. I stress, as in four hours I must defend myself against an injustice, I allowed to myself to succumb to. People always seem to be pushing the little guy, figuratively speaking, down. So today I stand up for myself. I feel like a child, asked to stand in front of the class and perform, never truly understanding the question. The once bright future, seems as dim as the light which shines on my weary face. Hiding the torment of the last few years. It truly hit me, when a stranger pointed out my decent. Not in anything other than my choice of words as once happ...

Asleep a little after 12. Awake at 2 and now it's 4. Perusing the media outlets that contain friends and strangers. Regrets and possibilities stare at me. Wish I could go back and take that walk and change the course of personal history. Wish I could get that one break that would propel my dimly lit future. I see potential partners everywhere, both romantic and business, but it never comes together. My mind is both 25 and 65, as I approach 45. My body is 85, getting older by the day. I lay, thinking about my last few hours, of which I have 32. There will be a wonderful meal, shared with my father and some friends. My brother, his wife and the dog will be absent. I miss them. I show my emotions to no-one anymore. Years of pain have taught me that nobody cares for the tears of this clown. My face is covered with grotesque slots and marks, medicines seem ineffective and the stress is tearing at me. I need to be able to look people in the eye. A potential boss or maybe a date, but my...

YOUR PICKS 1 Jadeveon Clowney DE, South Carolina 2 Greg Robinson OT, Auburn 3 Johnny Manziel QB, Texas A&M 4 Sammy Watkins WR, Clemson 5 Blake Bortles QB, UCF 6 Khalil Mack OLB, Buffalo 7 Jake Matthews OT, Texas A&M 8 Teddy Bridgewater QB, Louisville 9 Anthony Barr OLB, UCLA 10 Ha Ha Clinton-Dix DS, Alabama 11 Derek Carr QB, Fresno State 12 Eric Ebron TE, North Carolina 13 Mike Evans WR, Texas A&M 14 Taylor Lewan OT, Michigan 15 Aaron Donald DT, Pittsburgh 16 Kony Ealy DE, Missouri 17 Louis Nix III DT, Notre Dame 18 Marqise Lee WR, USC 19 Darqueze Dennard DC, Michigan State 20 Zack Martin OT, Notre Dame 21 Ryan Shazier OLB, Ohio State 22 C.J. Mosley ILB, Al...

I hand wrote my predictions about a month ago and never posted them to my silly blog. So here they are. American League: East - New York Yankees Central - Detroit Tigers* West - Oakland Athletics WC - Texas Rangers and Boston Red Sox The Yankees will bounce back with a healthy Jeter and Tex. The addition of Ellsbury and McCann will help, but Beltran is the key, because he allows for Soriano, Ichiro, Gardner and Ellsbury to rest and/or play DH.  The Tigers will continue their dominance of the Central, due largely to their big 3 again. I know the popular picks are the Rangers and Angels in the West, but I'm loving the A's this season. They dominate at home and in a close division, that will be the difference.  Texas is too strong with their young players not to make the layoffs and Boston squeaks by Baltimore, Anaheim and Tampa Bay to get the last spot. National League: East - Atlanta Braves Central - St. Louis Cardinals* West - Los Angeles Dodgers WC - Washington ...

3:31 staggering towards the dimly lit hall, is it age or the coffee. A mid sleep trip to the bathroom that awakens me nightly. I look in the mirror and my tormented skin. My squinted eyes try to deflect the light and the frustration. Acne escaped my teen years, but has come after me with a vengeance. Everyone has their theory, as do I. I shuffle back to bed, sip from the water bedside. I crank the window open and the crisp air touches my warm face. I smile; birds chirp, but not to bother, but to chat, like two close friends, sharing their sorrows or is it their pleasures?  I roll over and reach for something. Am I asleep already or is the dream that preceded my trip coming back. It was pleasant, yet innocent. A trip to a cabin, they're always a cabin. Quiet, desolate, safe. Money, phones and stress have no place here. Two small to stretch out, we pull the blankets over us. She tells me of her fidelity and I tell her of my honor. I embrace her gently and we drift off. The birds talk...

Leaving the toilet seat up whenever you want Not having anyone to blame when you fall in at 4am Movie night: Horror Nobody to protect from the scary parts One egg omelets Nobody to remind you to buy eggs Saturday and Sundays laying in bed without plans Saturdays and Sundays laying bed without sex Toilet paper lasts twice as long See that comment about eggs Food bills are minuscule Dining alone is depressing Dinner is slightly overcooked, but nobody to critique it Realization you made enough for two meals None of her friends calling "to chat" at all hours Nobody for you to chat with at any hour Not having to clean up after yourself Not liking the state of your apartment and the depression it causes Never having to make your bed Never having it look like a mess for the right reasons Eating entire meals in bed without any worries Waking up to food stuck to your leg in the morning Not having to go to bed because someone else is tired Staying awak...

I did this a few years ago and without looking back to see what I wrote then, I'm going to write a new one.  Interesting to see if the same things are on both lists or if I've evolved or devolved.  Here you go. A- Ads. During the Olympics we hit a new low with 22 minutes of commercials for eight minutes of coverage. B- Buses. I'm so sick of taking buses.  I used to love long drives.  Buses suck. C- Climate deniers. Really? This shit seems normal? D- Dumb people. They  truly are everywhere you look. E- Envy. For the first time in my life, I've found myself envious of a few people.  It's an ugly feeling. F- Facebook. It's become the whiniest, bitchiest, attention craving, miserable fucked, weather obsessed piece of shit website ever, but I stay for pics of my friends kids and stories of their accomplishments. G- Guns. If you still think it's the people that are the problem, you're not educated in the crime rates in other countries. H- Health obses...

Today I lost a friend. Well, not exactly a friend, but a follower. A Twitter acquaintance that got fed up with a few days of negativity. It struck a chord. I have been. Do I have the right to be dismayed? Of course, but why should others be bothered? So what did I do? I punished myself. I won't get into how or why, but I neglected myself quietly, in an attempt to come to terms with a strangers annoyance. Silly? I don't think so. If someone that doesn't know me, saw ugliness, what did those close to me feel? Disgust? Should I have posted statuses about a trip in my shoes? For sympathy? Fuck sympathy. I need to man up and make changes happen.  First is to go to sleep before 5am

Bleak!!! This is the feel bad movie of the year. About as gritty and depressing as they come. That being said, the movie contains six of the best actors in the game and the casting is perfect. Harrelson is terrifying from beginning to end, Affleck is perfect as the stubborn younger brother with issues (possibly PTSD), Dafoe is slimy, but sympathetic, Whitaker is shockingly effective in a low key role, Shepard is the voice of reason and Bale is fantastic as the burdened lead. Add the lovely Saldana, as the heartbroken ex, looking fit stability in a world with very little brightness and you have a winner. The only complaint would be one silly scene early on and a prophetic give away scene halfway through, but minor complaints. Not going to make anyone feel good about the world, but very effective.

Money is the root of all evil or so they say. I have to agree. In our quest to attain it, even the smallest amounts more than we started with, some of us block out everything else. We forget the protocol and the rules, with our greed, for $5, $10 more turning us into animals that we keep caged in other cases. Those are those who win money and freely share it with those around them and then there are the missed. There are those who dismiss the unwritten rules and those who purposely break them.  Those who extend the hand in gratitude, above and beyond are few. Might seem very cryptic, but when you count on people doing the right thing and they don't, it can become catastrophic and cause stress you don't deserve. $5, $10 or $15 from one or two people isn't the be all end all, but when it becomes 15-20 people, it adds up. Now I have to take fiscal responsibility for their greed. And at a time I'm counting my singles to figure out how to get to work and back and what I...

Being frugal, broke and sort of trying to lose weight, I have come to the realization; Chinese food is the most economical way to make take-out a substantial substitute to regular shopping. Of course, you're going to need a few staples at home. The other night, I was in the mood for wings, but didn't feel like paying $11-13 for a handful. So I called my local take-out joint and made a small order. The chicken wing combo (comes with fried rice & an egg roll), cold noodles with Chef's special sauce and one extra egg roll. One filling meal, but I had other plans. The entire check was $15. I took the wings out (10) and wiped the rice off. Melted two tablespoons of butter in a skillet and dumped in the hot sauce. I then tossed the wings for about two minutes until completely covered in the sauce, threw them on a plate with some sliced carrots I had and I was enjoying delicious buffalo wings for half the cost of the local bar. The next morning, I made a poached egg and ...

Been a while since I did this, but they are a plenty. My dreams have been talking to me lately, both vividly and directly. Mistakes made the past six weeks have me down, but they are all that kept me going during this time. . The kids have been out of control, but the stories are amazing. If you ever want to know how much more money means to people than friendship, run a pool. The hardest I've laughed in the last few days has been inside a taxi. Step it up people. Facebook has me wondering if people honestly believe that their personal and/or family inadequacies are really societal issues. Parents need to be accountable for their children. A year ago I talked on the phone 2-3 hours a day with friends.  Last month I spoke on the phone less than two hours total. I've learned over the last year that physical pain is the single most exhausting thing one can endure. It makes me appreciate a few special people even more. I personally don't believe in two common ...

Eyes heavy, I take a pill. Sleep hits me immediately, but then the sound of rain awakens me. I stretch, thinking, what time is it? Four? Five? No, it's just midnight. Two hours. That was all and now I stare. Up at a black void. My life? The future is imminent and it's going to hurt. Thinking back to hours before, or was it days? Smiles. That moment when your close, to the point knees touch, one inside the other, but there is no romance, just comfort and trust. My phone's system changing trust to tryst, like it knows. Mocking me, ever so subtly. Two, three friends demand my attention and it is given immediately, without question, I am there. I never fail them, but then when I begin to speak, to look for that same behavior, I see their eyes withdraw, bodies turning, to kook at something, anything. The words fall on ears so deaf, caused by the booming sounds of selfishness. I reach out further, but they are gone. Physically sitting, nodding, performing an act of brilliant dece...

A few years ago, I had a class of kids who had all knew each other since kindergarten. They also put a boy from a different grade in who was a little bit different. This class was rambunctious and a bunch of wise-asses and I saw their faces when this other child entered. I was worried. The first day, the team that received the new guy, was very upset. They ran in front of him to make catches and throws and despite this the boy didn't care. They did. I said nothing. By week three, a few kids realized, despite not being aware of the rules, he could hit, run, catch, kick, etc. By week five he was getting congratulations and high fives from a few. By week seven, he still couldn't grasp all the rules, but the snickers had turned to encouragement. Then one day we were playing basketball and his team was winning. Everyone on his team had scored, so the other kids stopped trying to win and tried to get him the ball. What was amazing wasn't that his teammates did such s wond...

Academy award nominee? Despite some beautiful special effects and at times a visual feast, Gravity is nothing more than a cheesy Lifetime movie. A script written in such a scattered way, with plot holes bigger than space's infamous black holes, the movie is so laden with sap, it could have been served with pancakes. Bullock and Clooney are enjoyable, but this movie has every cliche imaginable. At 91 minutes long, some may accept it's mindlessness, but good grief, it even has a rebirth, a Marvin the Martian sighting and two or three "wait, didn't they just say not to do that?" scenes. Paired with an awful score, the visual experience is lost, by this bungled attempt to create the epic space catastrophe film. Truly an awful experience, that ironically never gets off the ground.