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The Pluses & Minuses Of Living Alone

Leaving the toilet seat up whenever you want
Not having anyone to blame when you fall in at 4am

Movie night: Horror
Nobody to protect from the scary parts

One egg omelets
Nobody to remind you to buy eggs

Saturday and Sundays laying in bed without plans
Saturdays and Sundays laying bed without sex

Toilet paper lasts twice as long
See that comment about eggs

Food bills are minuscule
Dining alone is depressing

Dinner is slightly overcooked, but nobody to critique it
Realization you made enough for two meals

None of her friends calling "to chat" at all hours
Nobody for you to chat with at any hour

Not having to clean up after yourself
Not liking the state of your apartment and the depression it causes

Never having to make your bed
Never having it look like a mess for the right reasons

Eating entire meals in bed without any worries
Waking up to food stuck to your leg in the morning

Not having to go to bed because someone else is tired
Staying awake all night because you miss that comfort

All the sheets are yours
OK, so there is no minus in this one

Making a delicious meal and enjoying it
Not being able to see the reaction of someone enjoying it

Being able to dress the way you want and not be criticized
Going out with your sweatshirt on backwards and sleep in your eye

Never being surprised with chores or guests
Never being surprised with coffee, bacon or morning sex

Home is where the heart is
Only having half of it there




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