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You're Not Sarcastic, You're Mean

Writers, comedians, professors, scholars, psychologists, and other members of the intellectual elite have all commented, some positively, some negatively, on the art of sarcasm.

If you noticed, I called it an art. It isn't simply saying something ironic or mean, it's saying it with precise verbiage, impeccable timing, corresponding look or movement, and of course, intelligence. Is it an act of contempt? The dictionary seems to think so, as do psychologists, but what if it isn't a coping mechanism for an inability to debate or discuss and it's actually who you are? Does that make you a bad person?

One thing about sarcasm, for me, is that it takes an incredible level of intelligence to use it properly, and an above average intelligence to detect it. A teacher once said to me, "Sarcasm is wasted in the youth." I tend to disagree as children often use sarcasm perfectly, without even knowing they've done so. The one thing that is true is, it is indeed wasted on the stupid, and using it on them is cruel, because if one mocks another simply for their own enjoyment, well, that's just cruel.

The Internet, especially memes think they've cornered the market on sarcasm when really it's simplistic irony they're using to click-bait those who believe they are sarcastic. Not a single day goes by on Facebook or Twitter where someone doesn't boast about their love of, use, or their sarcastic personality. Normally, if I know them personally, I say to myself they're just angry, frustrated, mean-spirited jerks. The ratio of people who think they are sarcastic to actually sarcastic people is about 500-5 on my social media "friends" list. To be honest, most of the truly sarcastic people I know aren't even on social media. Isn't that an ironic twist? No, it's not actually.

Am I sarcastic? I don't know. I'd like to think I'm more truthful than sarcastic but in a truly ironic twist, being truthful in this day and age, makes people believe you're being ironic, playing devil's advocate, or yes, sarcastic. Sarcasm and karma seem to go hand in hand in America, in that they are used daily but very few even know what they mean or what they are. The funny thing is most people who use the words or think they understand them, think they are a tool of vengeance and retribution when they're pretty much the opposite.  While psychologists believe they are a coping skill, I believe sarcasm, when done well, can internally diffuse a tense situation, leaving the target appeased, even feeling victorious, while the initiator and those who get it, realize what has happened. It's like a parent telling a child to say sorry. The child tells the parent sorry, then when corrected, sheepishly walks over to the other child, apologizes and then gets to do what they want, unfettered by the entire situation, while the other child is still hurt, but received a half-hearted apology. (I could write an entire blog about how to initiate apologies, but I won't).

I'll end with this. Mark Twain, Feodor Dostoevsky, and Oscar Wilde are all wrong, and if you haven't read any of their works, they aren't very good anyway.

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