Skip to main content

A Strange Night

Awake, despite complete exhaustion.
Cold, despite being covered.
Shaken, despite being completely safe.
Scattered, despite thinking of one topic.
Forgetful,. despite the familiarity of my surroundings.
Alone, despite being surrounded by others.
Lethargic, despite the ease of the tasks.
Giving, despite needing desperately to receive.
Selling to buy, when I feel as if I should be buying to sell.
Compassionate, when I need to be steadfast.
Faithful, when I need to be selfish.
Awake, when sleep is needed more than anything in this world.

Handling stress now is not like it used to be.
The stress is different and the ramifications are magnified.
I used to covet stress and feed off of it. Now it feeds on me.
Even the kids could not distract my thoughts.
Today I must breathe and placate my mind.
I feel as if I have no options, but I have two, 
And neither is as serious as fight or flight.
I always used to fight, except when it was warranted to fly.
Have I learned or am I mixing the two up?

I know who would know, and maybe that's the problem. 
I'm still waiting to be told. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

White Privilege

This was a post I wrote on Facebook after surprisingly not seeing any moaning about the Documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas, titled White People Dayyum! I just scrolled my timeline and not a single white person got their feelings hurt by White People. I unfortunately haven't seen it, but the number of fake accounts that popped up on twitter, tells me it was a damn good show. Here's the thing. If someone of color aka non-white says "White Privilege," are you offended? If you said yes, then you are exhibiting white privilege. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or study, how you stayed out of trouble, because here's the thing, that is entirely the point. Somewhere out there, there are 100 Black, Spanish, Native American, Arab, Asian, who worked and studied as hard as you and never got in trouble, but they don't have what you "earned" or achieved. Stop looking at the one person you know who isn't white that achieved as your benchmark. Loo...
10 comments
Read more

Lists

Americans are obsessed with lists. Christmas Lists, Top Ten Lists, Shopping Lists, Hell, when I was a kid, one of the most popular books was aptly titled, The Book of Lists. We're obsessed. I make lists all the time and while I try to use the universally accepted limit of ten items, they rarely end up that way. That being said, lists are a terrible thing. I have never, not once in my life, used a shopping list. You know what I'm good at? Shopping. I buy what's on sale, forgoing the avocados this week and buying some peaches that looked ripe and at a bargain. I walk down every aisle and find things I'd never think to add to the holy list, but now see the large can is but 89 cents. Lists keep us from exploring. The inspiration for this, was not a rebuttal to a friends first blog, in which she lists things, proclaiming lists are a part of her life. No, this was inspired by a comical moment had at 5:18 in the morning. I went to get a glass of water and gazed in the frid...
3 comments
Read more

Quickie Review - Finding Vivian Maier

While I thoroughly enjoyed the film, especially the first 15-20 minutes, I was a little bothered by the way the film played out. The interviews with the clearly disturbed brother, sister and the mother, who obviously, was in for a cut, didn't need to be in the film. Then the woman who suggested abuse, yet seemed to have her life defined by Maier, as she tried to muster every ounce of emotion and fake guilt. Her friend, more than happy to be party of the charade. People who talk about abuse for the first time, usually don't do so on camera. The fact these scenes were so prominent, shows that they felt wronged that they were not rewarded. Maloof on the other hand, seems to disappear from the documentary during this part, almost hiding away from the fact, he went from complete praise, to even making money off of her, to destroying her personal legacy. He almost mentions the family of boys taking care of her rent, as an afterthought. Her burial spot, never shown, yet a video of her...
7 comments
Read more