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Random Thoughts While Tossing and Turning At 4:18 AM

It's almost eleven years to the date when I heard a song, then I uttered something that received more ridicule than anything I've ever said. "The woman that sings this song, Just Dance, will be bigger than Madonna." I also watched A Star is Born last night and I'm pretty sure I was right.

I've picked up a bad habit that I've always condemned in others.

Staying current on "news" used to be considered a leisure activity. Now it's a high stress, non-paying job.

I don't laugh nearly as much as I make others laugh.

People should never underestimate the importance of group dynamics.

I'm still protecting and defending those who've hurt me. I just realize, at the end of the day, they've brought it on themselves, while also bringing it onto me.

I've dropped the ball with keeping up with my loved ones.

For the first time in my life, I'm realizing my vices are who I am, but also who I will always be, and that's where the problem is.

In mid-August, I'll be living somewhere new. I am trying to figure out how I'm going to pay for it if I'm stating in this area, and where I'll be working. Not a good sleep enhancer.

Before Swag (my cat), I despised and avoided morning routines. Now I'm a slave to them.

Cooking at least one meal a day for yourself is unlike any type of therapy out there.

I am having a hard time remembering the last time stress wasn't eating away at me.

I sincerely believe adults will themselves to be sick for attention. Not with a disease, just illness.

If I missed three days of work a month, I'd have no social life. If I missed six days of work in a month, I may not be able to eat. If I missed nine, I wouldn't be able to pay rent. I have current coworkers, who complain about stress, who do this often.  I've not missed a single day of work since I started this job. I can't afford to.

A five-year-old sat in my lap yesterday, at the end of a 10 hour day for her, and she gently touched my beard. She gave me a hug and whispered in my ear, "You're old." I am!

For the first time in about 15 years, I'm tired. Tired is a four-letter word for me.


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