I have not always been loyal. I've tried, but sometimes selfishness or other factors have crept into my life. Those instances, when I lacked loyalty are some of my biggest regrets. In this world, I believe we have control of very few things. Honesty, loyalty, and accountability are the three I believe we control completely. Should we add compassion and virtue, we may be recognized as people with integrity, These values are important to me. Much more so than when I was in my youth. The shame of it all is that these values, while common individually, are quite rare collectively. While I do not espouse to being perfect or righteous, I do try to be better every day. I do this, not only for my own state, but for those I surround myself. What has troubled me as of late, even among those I like, is it is not only taken for granted, but rarely, if ever, reciprocated. Life in today's society, in our world, should always be about reciprocation of words and actions. They mustn't be equal, but the effort must be. I feel as if my loyalty is slowly destroying me. Over the years, it has crushed me financially, and it continues to do so. My inability to make selfish decisions, even when they may even be the right decision, has pinned me down and stunted my growth as a person, in every conceivable way. While I have many flaws that have and do contribute to my failures, my desire to live a life of integrity has gotten the best of me. While kind words are appreciated and uplifting, they do not grow the mind, nor do they make me a better person, and most of all, they certainly do not pay my bills or advance my life in the direction I desire. I have been told by many to make my own path and I have and that path has led to loneliness and in recent times, despair, which has led me to ask: What difference does it make if one can hold their head up high if they are always on their knees?
This was a post I wrote on Facebook after surprisingly not seeing any moaning about the Documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas, titled White People Dayyum! I just scrolled my timeline and not a single white person got their feelings hurt by White People. I unfortunately haven't seen it, but the number of fake accounts that popped up on twitter, tells me it was a damn good show. Here's the thing. If someone of color aka non-white says "White Privilege," are you offended? If you said yes, then you are exhibiting white privilege. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or study, how you stayed out of trouble, because here's the thing, that is entirely the point. Somewhere out there, there are 100 Black, Spanish, Native American, Arab, Asian, who worked and studied as hard as you and never got in trouble, but they don't have what you "earned" or achieved. Stop looking at the one person you know who isn't white that achieved as your benchmark. Loo
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