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Setting The Tone

Many of our strengths, I know mine, are weaknesses when put into the real world. I have an acute sense of smell, which can cause many issues, especially when others cannot detect what I find pleasurable, but more likely, offensive. While not photographic, I have a very good memory, with minor details of minor events, sometimes leaving a mich more lasting impression than the event itself. Finally, and this is where I get myself in trouble, often spending hours, even multiple nights dwelling on, I am painfully observant to human behavior. I notice single words people choose to use, whether in the context of a conversation or within entire paragraphs. Words that change what they desire into how they truly feel. Maybe it all began when I started playing poker, but reading the room is something I've long been able to do. To be frank, I wish I couldn't. It pains me.

Whether it be a moment, a day, or the desired culture, setting the tone is something we all do every day. For many of us, our own daily routines decide how we feel about stepping out into the world. For some of us, it's become such an important prerequisite, our days are often doomed to fail from the start. The important thing to note is in a work scenario, it doesn't matter how high up the food chain you are or how low, each person's tone is important. In a work scenario, the tone of each individual, daily and long term, is essential in the business' success. This tone creates a culture and the culture promotes trust, cohesiveness, and in the end, production.

When one works with children, the tone of each person is essential, but most importantly, the person's ability to shut out personal woes and to stick with a positive tone is essential for the day-to-day functionality of the group. When one uses an issue, outside of the workplace, to give them an excuse, or to explain lapses, it's important that this person remove themselves from the group, until they can better handle it. In today's world, where often, we face economic strife, a missed day, or a week, can be financially catastrophic. But what happens when the leaders create a negative tone, simply by doing what they think is best. I recently took a sexual harassment training course which I found to be more useful than most. So much so, that I feel if we omit the topic and apply it to workplace culture and tone, it resonates as strongly. The key takeaway from it was in regards to verbal and physical actions. The emphasis was on intent versus impact. While the training did not put it as bluntly as I will, intent does not matter, if those impacted feels hurt, threatened, or simply uncomfortable. The video then ended with a strong emphasis on leaders, supervisors, and bosses explaining that they not only responsible for their own actions, those of others known to them, but also those they don't know about. They must be accountable for that which they are not even aware of. That's strong language, and while it sounds like pressure, they are the ones setting the tone. People who are comfortable will act accordingly, and those who don't, most likely will not.

I had written an entire blog about the words we choose and how those who use them are usually the ones guilty of creating the tone those words describe. I deleted it, unironically, because I felt my posting it set a negative tone for my own life. So what do we do when someone with greater authority wants to set a positive tone but does it in such a negative fashion, you and those within your group feel doomed from the start? As I mentioned before, in this world of economic strife, the simple and most effective way is to quit. But what if this demanded tone, puts your job on the line. What if the chaos and toxicity one wants to avoid are or was actually created by those who demand it be absent?
If I knew the answer, I'd have saved time writing this.

Side note: This blog was created a decade ago. Often times to poke fun at the world, lend my observations to those who might be interested, but most often, to allow myself a metaphorical couch to lay on and speak my mind without reservations, without judgment. As I have learned over the years, much of what we intend not to be judged is. When it impacts others negatively, as I mentioned before, we must either apologize, change our behaviors, or learn from it. This blog, whether positive or negative, help me set a tone for my day, often doing nothing more than allowing me a place to vent, so that I may go about my day free of its burden.


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