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Being Kind

Ever since social media took over our lives, the idea of kindness being an anomaly has grown. People, almost all that I know, post about this without ever looking at their own lives. They share a story, a video, or their own personal story, expecting praise, acknowledgment, and the ever-important like. What most fail to see is their own hypocrisy. If you're an adult, who claims to have been raised in a wonderful family, you value your faith, and you are a parent, a Facebook share should not be some sort of epiphany. It should, at the very least put a smile on your face, and at the very most, anger you. Anger you, because the sort of behavior you're bringing to attention is not the norm. If this is how you were raised, what your faith teaches, and how you want your children to act, it makes no sense for you to share this as a special message. It should, in your mind, be the norm.

The reality is, we're not good people and these posts, regardless of how touching and poignant they are, are examples of our own insecurities. Would we act or react the same way? Would those that share our faith do so? Would our children? The answer, for most who post, is a resounding no. Kindness is an unselfish act. Posting about kindness, especially for recognition is a selfish act. To be quite honest, Facebook, in it's purest form is a selfish place. It's where we get to measure ourselves against others, whether it be about relationships, financial situations, educational prowess, or simply happiness. Make no mistake, those with woes, myself included, post only to trigger a response. in the hopes of gaining something we lack. For some, it's a daily occurrence, but for others, it's to fill a sudden gap. We're all flawed and for some of us who understand our flaws, we have either accepted them or are battling to overcome them. For others, where delusion is grand, we project our flaws onto others via social media. We criticize excess or lacking, never understanding that Facebook is often a mirror screaming back at us.

Kindness comes from within. It is not about one's purity or even their love. It's an understanding of the social contract, whether that be philosophical, religious-based, familial teaching, or simply life experience. Many times its a combination of some or all and for those who can balance all the contradictions life throws at us and still chooses to be kind, it's true. Kindness is not an innate behavior. It is a learned skill. It has little to do with one's heart and more to do with a person's life experiences teaching them the skills to overcome fear, misunderstanding, and hate. Kindness takes resolve and most lack it. Those who say "Be kind," rarely are, because those who do, have overcome what those who speak about have not. We all must try, but it's a personal journey and few succeed.

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