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10 Years Old

A few months into my tenth year, my brother was born.  I remember how happy I was.  A year prior, my parents had adopted a baby girl and due to a law which allowed the biological parents to take her back within thirty days, I was devastated.  My brother came along and after the month of worry, things were great.  We lived in a four story brownstone and our bedrooms were on the top floor.  There were four bedrooms, my parents, my brother's, mine and a guest bedroom.

I remember one morning, I heard my brother chatting away and laughing.  I walked in to his room and he stared up at me and smiled.  I picked him up and placed him on the changing table.  Put a new diaper on and put him into some clean clothes.  I carried him downstairs and placed him in his playpen.  He sat and watched as I filled a pot with water on the stove and heated his bottle.  I then tested the bottle to make sure it wasn't too hot.  I brought him into the living room and sat on the couch, cradling him in my arms as he drank.  A few minutes later, my mother came down and smiled.  She started to make coffee and breakfast for the rest of us and left me to care for my brother. 

It was such a simpler time back then.  No worries about money or relationships.  No worries about people falling ill or dying.  I was ten years old and had already suffered something most people can't imagine, but that morning, life was perfect.  To care for someone, who loved you unconditionally, because you changed them out of a wet diaper and gave them nourishment.  That is what life is about.  Now things are different.  Adults make life so complicated.  I wrote months ago about sitting on a couch, watching TV, an occasional hug or a kiss.  That is what it is all about.  It's not about flowers or fancy dinners.  Diamond rings or Broadway shows.  It's about those moments that stay with you forever.  It's about looking at someone and having them look back, silently, and smiling.  Those moments seem to happen less frequently now, but at 10 years old, it seemed like it was every day.

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