As I listen and read the comments from people and the in-depth look into their lives, I have to question everything they say. How can your family be so strong, but you are always so angry, upset or stressed. How can someone be so upset at everything around them and so comforted by their kids, spouse or loved ones? My support system has always been small and even in the deepest depths of sadness and stress, it's those moments with them, if even just to hear their voice, that I gain strength and perseverance to move on. I've come to the sad realization that I am in a very small minority.
I'm in now way belittling anyone who is going through anything difficult, but it seems to me those problems wouldn't be nearly as catastrophic had they the support of even a single individual, who really had their backs. In many ways, this blog is just a continuation of what I write about so often, which is reality vs perception. We so desperately want people to see us as perfect, but also wounded. There is no way to do this on social media or even with words, because for us to truly care about your woes, we need to believe you need us. So many of us like this or that or comment with generic support, but we do so with the assumption you have true support elsewhere. What most of would be surprised to know, had we reached out to those people privately, is that they do not.
So why the subject line? I feel good. I have no reason to for any reason, but I do. I hurt physically, but emotionally, I feel OK and it's been a while since I can say, with clarity, that I truly do. I can't explain why, because the grey cloud if impending doom is widening and getting closer, yet I feel comforted by those I trust with my feelings. Those who aren't all right by my side, but those who I have helped me through this difficult transition that I find myself going through. It's nice to feel good when you shouldn't. It's because those who are my rock are always rock and with them, I feel stressed, but never enough to let the world get the idea that I am in any way that I am beaten. For those who are, almost daily, I feel for you and can only wish you had what I cherish. Like I said, I'm feeling good. Hope all of you can feel this soon.
I'm in now way belittling anyone who is going through anything difficult, but it seems to me those problems wouldn't be nearly as catastrophic had they the support of even a single individual, who really had their backs. In many ways, this blog is just a continuation of what I write about so often, which is reality vs perception. We so desperately want people to see us as perfect, but also wounded. There is no way to do this on social media or even with words, because for us to truly care about your woes, we need to believe you need us. So many of us like this or that or comment with generic support, but we do so with the assumption you have true support elsewhere. What most of would be surprised to know, had we reached out to those people privately, is that they do not.
So why the subject line? I feel good. I have no reason to for any reason, but I do. I hurt physically, but emotionally, I feel OK and it's been a while since I can say, with clarity, that I truly do. I can't explain why, because the grey cloud if impending doom is widening and getting closer, yet I feel comforted by those I trust with my feelings. Those who aren't all right by my side, but those who I have helped me through this difficult transition that I find myself going through. It's nice to feel good when you shouldn't. It's because those who are my rock are always rock and with them, I feel stressed, but never enough to let the world get the idea that I am in any way that I am beaten. For those who are, almost daily, I feel for you and can only wish you had what I cherish. Like I said, I'm feeling good. Hope all of you can feel this soon.
Comments
Post a Comment