Yes, I know, most of you are on your way to work and cursing the thought of another Monday. If it makes you feel any better, just think about all the kids who are thrilled to death. Then think about the fact that at no point in their entire educational lives, whether it be from schoolteachers or parents, will they ever be taught about the atrocities committed by Columbus. Feel better?
Well, this was the oddest weekend I've spent in Ithaca. Friday night, I dined alone and watched baseball. Saturday, I spent the day in somewhat of a lull, watching more baseball, having a nice steak for dinner and then having the single worst sleep I've had since I've been here. I dozed twice during the day, but watched the first full football game and I'm pretty sure, football is the worst it's ever been. The playing, the coaching and the officiating is so poor that the product that is so beloved is tarnished in a way, it's criminal element could never have done. I will miss baseball.
So why am I writing Happy Monday? I don't know. I've actually been a little down in the dumps lately. I feel lost in world that doesn't even know I exist, while trying to stay connected to one that doesn't know I'm gone and another I'm trying to dismiss from my life. Oddly, it's falling into this pace all wrong. The people I value are ignoring me, the one's I crave their communication are gone and the ones I find cringe worthy seem to take up much of my time. I also feel loss and closure all together. This move has been like a death in some ways. I have already moved on and that alone scares me, but what really terrifies is how many have done so also. It makes me question my place here on earth and what difference I've made. The ones who so greatly touched my life and who I believe I returned the favor, are at a point in their lives where I would be lucky to have them remember me in five years.
If people knew or even cared to ask, they'd be shocked at the life I am living. Not so much in my mindset about things, because that has stayed the same, but in my actions or more precisely, inaction. That guy who was always there or always willing to be there is no longer and all but a handful haven't even noticed. I too haven't noticed, as I don't miss it. The money, the time, the dedication to people who within a few weeks, had all but forgotten. I cherish those who have sent a message or a call, but I've done this before. I was younger and I thought it would always be and it was not. I see it now, 30 years later and it brings all those memories back. The only difference is I'm not thrust into a situation where meeting others is a necessity. I cherish this quiet, but I know for my own sanity, it can not continue. I've started to look to move on, but I'm limited by so many embarrassing restraints. It seems so funny to read people's complaints, when I'd be happy just to lay my head down at night and wake six hours later. To me, that would make for a happy Monday. No matter what manufactured woes I can come up with. Happy Monday all.
Well, this was the oddest weekend I've spent in Ithaca. Friday night, I dined alone and watched baseball. Saturday, I spent the day in somewhat of a lull, watching more baseball, having a nice steak for dinner and then having the single worst sleep I've had since I've been here. I dozed twice during the day, but watched the first full football game and I'm pretty sure, football is the worst it's ever been. The playing, the coaching and the officiating is so poor that the product that is so beloved is tarnished in a way, it's criminal element could never have done. I will miss baseball.
So why am I writing Happy Monday? I don't know. I've actually been a little down in the dumps lately. I feel lost in world that doesn't even know I exist, while trying to stay connected to one that doesn't know I'm gone and another I'm trying to dismiss from my life. Oddly, it's falling into this pace all wrong. The people I value are ignoring me, the one's I crave their communication are gone and the ones I find cringe worthy seem to take up much of my time. I also feel loss and closure all together. This move has been like a death in some ways. I have already moved on and that alone scares me, but what really terrifies is how many have done so also. It makes me question my place here on earth and what difference I've made. The ones who so greatly touched my life and who I believe I returned the favor, are at a point in their lives where I would be lucky to have them remember me in five years.
If people knew or even cared to ask, they'd be shocked at the life I am living. Not so much in my mindset about things, because that has stayed the same, but in my actions or more precisely, inaction. That guy who was always there or always willing to be there is no longer and all but a handful haven't even noticed. I too haven't noticed, as I don't miss it. The money, the time, the dedication to people who within a few weeks, had all but forgotten. I cherish those who have sent a message or a call, but I've done this before. I was younger and I thought it would always be and it was not. I see it now, 30 years later and it brings all those memories back. The only difference is I'm not thrust into a situation where meeting others is a necessity. I cherish this quiet, but I know for my own sanity, it can not continue. I've started to look to move on, but I'm limited by so many embarrassing restraints. It seems so funny to read people's complaints, when I'd be happy just to lay my head down at night and wake six hours later. To me, that would make for a happy Monday. No matter what manufactured woes I can come up with. Happy Monday all.
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