I'm at my happiest alone, in bed, watching a movie with a cup of coffee. Sure the touch of another is missed, but there is something about completely absorbing a film that makes me feel whole. Even if it's terrible, I look for things. I spent about 20 minutes trying to think of how I'd do it differently and I must say, my version of the movie, which I'll write a quickie review of tomorrow, would be better. Much better.
A friend made a statement about intelligence, average intelligence and what makes someone less or more intelligent than the average. OK, maybe her statement was more simple, but the comments that followed, including mine, challenged and confirmed her beliefs. I believe we're dumb. We're universally dumb and if we don't strive to learn something new each and every day, we fail. Today I learned that some people think Selma of the civil rights movement was a person. People are dumb.
Today I came to the conclusion that routine will be my undoing, People are so completely obsessed with repeating their mundane routines, because it gives them security. From what, I have no idea. I've never been one to succumb to routines and having to abide by others is painful at times. I realize if you have a schedule of 8-4, breakfast will be before or after you get to work, lunch will usually be around the same time and dinner also, but why? Fuck it. Bring last nigth's dinner leftover to work and eat them when you're hungry, not when society says it's breakfast. Eat lunch at 4pm for all I car. Eat dinner at midnight. Why does it matter? Because Men's Fitness said don't eat four hours before bed?
I've taken away that 1% of my "friends" are in some way prejudiced against a group for no logical reason, despite their belief that they have one. I've also taken away the fact that the other one percent are criticized unmercifully for being naive or ignorant. Isn't bigotry simply the ignorant dislike of another? The same as faith is a belief that can't be proven. So what is faith in humanity? Ignorance or is it complete acceptance of what you don't know or understand? I don't know. It's a tough one, but I'll stay with these one percenters, until someone proves to me that taking a side against a certain group of humans, because of the actions of a few, has a benefit. That being said, I hope those few get what they deserve, no matter what group they belong to. Every individual must be accountable for their actions without the benefit of hiding behind a group and without the stigma of the these groups.
Being cold is not a good thing. I spent the last 25 years of my life being oblivious to the cold. The reason was, because I was able to either stay active while in the cold or simply having the knowledge the cold would be gone once I went inside. I'm cold 24/7 now and it's debilitating. It's physically exhausting and for someone who doesn't sleep routinely, it's nerveracking. I fear that it will end up with my having a bad sick spell, which I've actually managed to avoid all but three times in the past five years. Yes, despite me lacking the look of healthiness, I've had three colds that have lasted more than one day in the past five years. All three times they lasted about five days and usually involved me laying in bed and wanting to die. I do not look forward to these moments.
With all the research I've done on nutrition, despite ignoring it, I have consumed more sodium in the past five months than I have in years. I can feel it in my body and the feeling is awful. I'm dehydrated despite drinking and not consuming even close to the alcohol I've been accustomed to. I just feel awful. Truly awful and with every processed or premade meal I eat, I feel so horribly afterwards, I actually feel pained. Psychosomatic? I don't know. I just know that I've eaten so many things that were foreign to my diet that I feel completely ill by it. I won't go into certain details, but anyone who truly knows me really well, will understand that when certain things don't happen, something isn't right.
I'll end with a happy note. I realized that I worry about some people and when they do well, I'm fine. I have clouds over me like nobody knows, but it doesn't matter when certain people tell me good stuff. I also noticed that they struggle more than most, so maybe that gives me hope. That being said, it's this feeling that makes me feel festive and yes, for once, I'm looking forward to Christmas. No fanfare, just the feeling. Peace!
P.S. For some reason spellcheck isn't working and it's 4:37am, so sue me if you want to pick on my errors.
A friend made a statement about intelligence, average intelligence and what makes someone less or more intelligent than the average. OK, maybe her statement was more simple, but the comments that followed, including mine, challenged and confirmed her beliefs. I believe we're dumb. We're universally dumb and if we don't strive to learn something new each and every day, we fail. Today I learned that some people think Selma of the civil rights movement was a person. People are dumb.
Today I came to the conclusion that routine will be my undoing, People are so completely obsessed with repeating their mundane routines, because it gives them security. From what, I have no idea. I've never been one to succumb to routines and having to abide by others is painful at times. I realize if you have a schedule of 8-4, breakfast will be before or after you get to work, lunch will usually be around the same time and dinner also, but why? Fuck it. Bring last nigth's dinner leftover to work and eat them when you're hungry, not when society says it's breakfast. Eat lunch at 4pm for all I car. Eat dinner at midnight. Why does it matter? Because Men's Fitness said don't eat four hours before bed?
I've taken away that 1% of my "friends" are in some way prejudiced against a group for no logical reason, despite their belief that they have one. I've also taken away the fact that the other one percent are criticized unmercifully for being naive or ignorant. Isn't bigotry simply the ignorant dislike of another? The same as faith is a belief that can't be proven. So what is faith in humanity? Ignorance or is it complete acceptance of what you don't know or understand? I don't know. It's a tough one, but I'll stay with these one percenters, until someone proves to me that taking a side against a certain group of humans, because of the actions of a few, has a benefit. That being said, I hope those few get what they deserve, no matter what group they belong to. Every individual must be accountable for their actions without the benefit of hiding behind a group and without the stigma of the these groups.
Being cold is not a good thing. I spent the last 25 years of my life being oblivious to the cold. The reason was, because I was able to either stay active while in the cold or simply having the knowledge the cold would be gone once I went inside. I'm cold 24/7 now and it's debilitating. It's physically exhausting and for someone who doesn't sleep routinely, it's nerveracking. I fear that it will end up with my having a bad sick spell, which I've actually managed to avoid all but three times in the past five years. Yes, despite me lacking the look of healthiness, I've had three colds that have lasted more than one day in the past five years. All three times they lasted about five days and usually involved me laying in bed and wanting to die. I do not look forward to these moments.
With all the research I've done on nutrition, despite ignoring it, I have consumed more sodium in the past five months than I have in years. I can feel it in my body and the feeling is awful. I'm dehydrated despite drinking and not consuming even close to the alcohol I've been accustomed to. I just feel awful. Truly awful and with every processed or premade meal I eat, I feel so horribly afterwards, I actually feel pained. Psychosomatic? I don't know. I just know that I've eaten so many things that were foreign to my diet that I feel completely ill by it. I won't go into certain details, but anyone who truly knows me really well, will understand that when certain things don't happen, something isn't right.
I'll end with a happy note. I realized that I worry about some people and when they do well, I'm fine. I have clouds over me like nobody knows, but it doesn't matter when certain people tell me good stuff. I also noticed that they struggle more than most, so maybe that gives me hope. That being said, it's this feeling that makes me feel festive and yes, for once, I'm looking forward to Christmas. No fanfare, just the feeling. Peace!
P.S. For some reason spellcheck isn't working and it's 4:37am, so sue me if you want to pick on my errors.
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