Hop's Thoughts

This was actually a Facebook post, so you can pretty much understand why I'm as unsuccessful as a writer in real life as I am on this blog. Which by the way, I plan on ending very soon.  'It is not those who can inflict the most but those who can endure the most who will conquer.' Terence MacSwiney While I didn't necessarily agree with the film's portrayal of Bobby Sands and the obvious propaganda injected into the documentary, the fascinating parts of Bobby Sands: 66 Days was the juxtaposition of violence and non-violent protest happening simultaneously, as a means to an end. While the hunger strikes last days and the killing lasted four decades, one wonders which were truly more effective. The glamorous belief is the deaths of Sands, and others were far more effective than the bombings and killings. There's no doubt his election furthers this viewpoint. I'm fascinated by his story, as much for the man whose memory reached mythic proportions, but also for t...

I often come back to this philosophical thought, that our entire lives are that damn Robert Frost poem. That all of our lives are decided by single moments. Moments where we, in an instant, must make a decision. These decisions often have but two choices and the chosen path creates a lifetime of results. These moments do not necessarily feel monumental at the time, but when we look back at our lives, whether it be a few months later or a few years, we come back to these decisions and see how they've affected us. I think about these things often, but what I don't think I've ever done, not a single time in my life is look back at how these events may have shaped another's future. These moments I speak of do not often involve others, so the initial thinking is, they only affect me. This, of course, is irrational and even selfish. I think about the recovering drug addict, their fight, their plight. The decision to take that one final hit, bump, injection, is completely on t...

Have you ever been in a conversation, when suddenly the person you're speaking with starts adding so much detail and back story, you forget what the topic the conversation had begun with? Have you ever been in a conversation, then realize, you've spoken to this person may be one hundred times and they've never really asked you a question or asked a question that, with the exception of a simple yes or no, could be considered combative? What about those people who end their thought, leaving nothing more for you to add and making it impossible to segue into another topic? What about the people, who are so limited in their scope, they consistently bring up one of two, maybe three topics, and that's it. Their limitations are so narrow, you actually find yourself researching what they speak about in an effort to add to the back and forth, only to find out, they either have very little actual knowledge or they simply are regurgitating the first thing they saw when googling. Fi...

I'm writing this with no knowledge of the truth. This is complete fiction based on my assumptions. I do not watch TV, rarely read circulars for stores other than supermarkets, and ignore most emails stating: Save up to 75%! I am consumerism's nightmare. I'm a minimalist out of necessity, but it's taught me that this is now my way. I love movies, but don't own a DVD player. I own no streaming subscriptions, but do have access to two, due to the kindness of family and friends. I love video games, but have not owned a system since my PS2, which I used much more as a DVD player than a game console. I have worn the same three pairs of sneakers for three, wait, can it be four years? I own five pairs of shorts, three pairs of sweats, two pairs of dress pants and some shirts. Two of which could be considered dress shirts. I no longer own a suit and own one tie from the dollar store. I have almost no furniture that is mine. A dresser and a bookshelf are all. I own one pair ...

Starting March 14th   * denotes napped at some point during the day or early evening Friday: 4.25 - total 4.25 Saturday 5.25 - total 9.5 Sunday 5.5 - total 15.0 Monday 3.0 - total 18.0 Tuesday 4.5 - total 22.5 Wednesday 3.25 - total 25.75 Thursday 5.5* - total 31.25 Week 2 Friday 3.75 - total 35.0 Saturday 5.5* - total 40.5 Sunday 6.0* - total 46.5 Monday 3.25* - total 49.75 Tuesday 6.25 - total 56.0 Wednesday 4.75 - 60.75 Thursday 5.0* - 65.75 Weekly Total 34.5 Week 3 Friday 4.75 - 70.5 Saturday 4.5* - 75.0 Sunday 5.25 - 80.25 Monday 5.0* - 85.25 Tuesday 6.25 - 91.5 Wednesday 3.00 - 94.5 Thursday 6.75* -101.25 Weekly Total 35.5 Week 4 Friday 6.0* - 107.25 Saturday 4.5* - 111.75 Sunday 5.25 - 117.0 Monday 4.25 - 121.25 Tuesday 4.75 - 126.0 Wednesday 5.75 - 131.75 Thursday 4.75 - 136.5 Weekly Total 35.25 Week 5 Friday 5.25* - 141.75 Saturday 7.25* - 149.0 (2.25-hour nap) Sunday 4.25 - 153.25 Monday 5.25 - 158.5 Tuesday 5.5* - 164.0 Wednesda...

Over the last few weeks, many of us have been either busier than usual or placed into a much less stressful daily routine. While I am sure there are some out there, very few are living their lives, as is, barely feeling the discord they've had cast upon them. For me, I view it as I would retirement. Barely enough money to get by, but fewer expenses. I would imagine there would be more socializing, but many retirees spend much of their time alone, reflecting on the lives they've lived. During this time, for me, I've thought long and hard about my past, present and the fact that when this is over, with certainty, my time on this Earth will be shorter than the time before this virus. My upcoming milestone birthday has much to do with this thought pattern as well. It has me thinking, and asking, very simple questions.  I wonder, what would most people say? When you put on that mask, who are you putting it on for?  Are you strong enough to die alone? Are you thankful ...

I'm giving myself six minutes. The heat that comes with the sun seems to be here to stay, although the thermal and the comforter were definitely needed last night. The open window was nice, albeit my favorite dog did cause me a few hours of sleep. A human's fault, of course. Swag is changing with the rise and fall of the sun, as am I. Those around me, still childish, go by their alarms. Farmers don't use alarms. Cat's humans may be a type of farmer. We plow the litter. Ten the "crops," and always make sure the animals are comfortable and healthy. I can't seem to concentrate the last two days. I'm overcome by odd thoughts. Ones that contradict who I am. Some, pushing me to examine choices I've yet to make. Even now, a simple writing task, timed, I pause. Tik Tok. Not the app. I watch short videos recently, not long movies. I miss normalcy, but not the one COVID-19 has stolen, but comfort. Comfort to make dinner and eat when I please. Comfort to wa...

I love watching people, especially now. Here's a bit of what I've seen. Why do adults lie about how much they sleep at night? Most adults I know sleep between 7-8 hours. Many, especially those who deem themselves as "busy," sleep 9-10 hours. I sleep about 5 hours a night. Do you know how much I'd brag if I slept 6 hours a night? Let alone 7-10? Why do so many adults lower their sleep totals? They don't even count naps as sleep. They should wear their slumber numbers like a badge of honor. We are told to wipe down our groceries, just to be safe. So why do people pull their masks down to speak, on speakerphone, on their phones while shopping? Why are their phones even in the open air in enclosed spaces? Have they not read the studies about our phones being filthy, before this?  Similar to the unscientific stages of grief, we're seeing so much anger and denial, and so very little understanding and acceptance. It makes one wonder how our friends, co...

As the clock struck midnight, today marks the countdown of 50 days until my 50th birthday. While I am hardly concerned with my increasing age in terms of milestones, I do realize it's considered a big one. The current state of the universe may cancel any chances of people traveling hundreds of miles to honk their horns in my honor, but this world has turned virtual. I am sure I can get some virtual honks, virtual hugs, and virtual shots of the finest spirits. How will I celebrate? I'm not sure. I used to have a joke, which I will not share, because it centers on something I am very serious about. Let's just say, 50 was the goal. Now, with full knowledge of my own grandmother reaching centenarian status, my one wish is that I never come close to another 50. Most people believe I was a curmudgeon at 30, so does the world really need another 50 years of my views and opinions? So what should I do to assist in this countdown?  I own no old pictures of myself or my family, but ...

In casual conversation, it's fine, at times, to start a sentence with "So," but understand that the listener, if intelligent, immediately believes you're about to either make up a story or give a detailed, and unnecessary back story. If used once within a conversation, I assume it will go unnoticed, but when it begins every sentence, it becomes a mental hurdle for those in attendance. While So  is bad, there's almost nothing quite like the nails-on-a-chalkboard sound of "Yeah, So..." It's as if the speaker is putting mammoth importance onto the beginning of something while sounding like a child in the playground. Little kids, smile, smirk, and Like, So their ways into stories about how their clothes got dirty or they broke their friend's toy, and we smile, pat them on the head and try not to laugh as we discipline them. Adults, should never, ever, start a sentence the same way a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar would. Obviously,...

The season is finally actually changing. Usually, this is a positive sign of things to come. Children outdoors running, laughing, playing. We'll see some of this, but isolated to their own front yards. I feel for those in inner cities as it's quite obvious their lives are much less free. Isn't it ironic how many people with great financial wealth are such indoors, while the poor are running free in the fields? Yes, I'm well aware that the reverse is true in an urban area, so excuse my generalization of America. I think about how all of this is begging for our perspective. I look back to this time ten years ago. The nation consumed by the two-part series finale of Lost . Now, the entire country feels as if we've been thrown into an alternate universe. Some have been philosophical, some have been angry, and much like the show, we seem to be choosing alliances and lashing out at those who we blame. It was a TV show, this is not, but much like the ending of that telev...

Much of the talk, at least on social media, is the children. The poor seniors missing out on their final days with the friends, their sports, their academics, and of course their graduation. This is important in the life of a 17-year-old, but should not be revered in the memories of adults as "the best days of our lives." Those are ahead of them. These are the days of trying to fit in, experiment, and have fun when everyone seems to consumed with their lives or too distracted by their own to notice. It's a time of incredible bullying, severe stress, and the realization life is going to get incredibly complicated, because now, the expectations come from everywhere. High school, in the way it's thought of doing, has taught them nothing that prison wouldn't have. Find the right clique. What I have been thinking about is the real concern. Education. It's the one commonality we all have, aside from being born from mothers, yet it's the least important topic w...

Over the last two months, we've changed our way of living. We've changed our social behavior, our daily routines, and how we view the world. I still worry we've ignored the most important part of this experience and that is, how we view ourselves. So many of us try to find our cliched niche. When this started, I commented on how introverts seemed so much more threatened by isolation than extroverts. I still believe this. Forcing someone to do anything they view as a choice is burdensome, but forcing them to do something they feel defines them, takes away their identity. The problem with all of this is that we viewed it as sudden. As a whole, we ignored the rest of the world and thought ourselves above "third world" strategies. Now, we're the most infected group on the planet. And yes, we still fight logic.  Sixty days is a long time within the context of an entire year. If spread out, it would be done once every six days. The continuity is what is getting u...

Half capacity seems pretty appealing right now. I know, based on my own living situation, I'd take that in a heartbeat. The walls seem a little closer together. The sounds of snores, sighs, and nervous cackles tend to echo to the point of pain. The dirty dishes piling up, the hair on the ground, and the dried mud that my bare feet find seem more plentiful. As I try to concentrate on my own emotional stability, I watch as someone else, who was suspect to begin with, starts to turn into something I've seen before. Yet this is narcissistic, almost entitled. The mess is not a decaying mental state, but an announcement of presence. A need for acknowledgment where there is none, nor is it deserved. I do not take the bait and the filth intensifies. Transported, nature's dirt kicks up and somehow finds its way into my shoes. Tiny granite pebbles would feel like shards if not for the drying of my skin and the toughening of my soles. The other soul, the one with the U, is being teste...

Yes, it's almost mid-May, and snow is on the ground and in the forecast. I've had a bit of a mental block the last few days, so I'm just going to hammer these keys for eight minutes. I feel myself moving right. There is something more appealing about doing and failing miserably than not doing anything at all. This doesn't have to mean only politics, but it's this current world we live in. Lethargy has taken hold. Even those I see who are working lake the ability to move at a normal pace. Complaining is the new "Hello." Asking how someone is, is now getting a long answer. I'm exhausted by the negativity. I'm surrounded by it and it's much more contagious than this virus. Maybe we should open up and let the real virus attack all those riddled with stress and anxiety, created by their own delusions of grandeur. Those narcissists sure are having a hard time these days. Nobody to recognize them. Most, so self-absorbed, they never realized they we...

There must, of course, be some psychological study that proves or disproves this, but I'm going out on a very short limb here to say two things are absolute. 1. The ability to laugh at one's self is a sign of a great sense of humor. 2. The ability to laugh at one's self is a sign of confidence and self-esteem. It appears to be a no-brainer that anyone who can find humor in their own failures, mishaps, or minor accidents, is going to have this ability due to the fact they know this is not and will not be the norm. A certain amount of success is built on failure and I have a hard time imagining these failures could be looked upon with anger and resentment and then provide any sort of positive motivation. Not saying this is absolute, as we're all different, but the majority of us, simply couldn't hold grudges against ourselves and become functioning members of society. Right? Let's propose another scenario. Comedy itself. Recently, I watched a special with J...

I know. If this were a popular blog, it would be the nine-millionth piece written on this beaten to death topic. I don't have the readership of any major news source or even that of a subway car, but I write what I think about and for me, and for me, the very topic is pretty much why I started this. When I started this a few years ago, it was to be funny, relevant, to keep writing until the day I finally decide to attempt something for people other than my friends to read, but most of all, and this is very serious, it was to give myself a bit of self-therapy. I've long felt a debate was a bit of a stress reliever. Much like athletics, or sports in general, you exert energy to achieve, win, break personal records, or simply get a workout in. A debate, while not as good for your cardio, does much of the same for your brain. It is not the action that is relaxing, it's the after-effects. One thing is important to note. You can't get anything positive out of a debate if yo...

As the days go by, some obvious, some Tuesdays feeling like Saturdays, we're surviving. Some of us have grown frustrated, while others have grown accustomed to their leisurely activities. Some are working outside, some inside, some from home. All, I'm sure, are given a fresh perspective on their lives and the lives of others. Some have been granted a gift of "free" money, while others are waiting for theirs. Some are being paid, less than those who aren't, and some have simply not felt the changes we're all being forced to speak about daily. Masks are worn, some not. Confusion as to how they fit, how they work, and how we're supposed to move forward have consumed many. There is fear. There is joy. It's a weird time, but in many ways, it's like all other times. What's really changed other than our routines? The same routines we complain about, even when they bring us some happiness. We're taught that efficiency is brought on by routine. Rout...

The run of emotions has been plenty during this time. The same face every day can be a blessing or a burden. Personal space seems smaller. The outdoors seems more wonderous. Breaths are deeper, but for those who can adapt, please don't confuse them for sighs. The sound of purrs and pants bring comfort. Meditation comes by accident. Expectations are lowered, but letdown feels magnified. Alcohol seems to have less effect. despite the increased quantities. Beauty shines. Ugliness appears like Medusa, halting time, and our ability to escape it. Complaints brought on by one's self are telling. Empathy warms the heart. Days move by quicker, often with us forgetting their names. Children's laugher, while less frequent, echoes within. For those of us who are alone, meals feel like a friend. How we treat them is reciprocated. Evening thoughts feel different. All the plans we made yesterday cease to be relevant today. What once felt surreal has become normal. Wha...

Top 3: The Breadwinner, Roma, Lost Girls Bottom 3: Jay and Silent Bob Reboot, The Possession of Michael King, Pet Sematary 2019 Biggest Suprise: Wildling Biggest Letdown: The Death of Stalin Best Actor: Martin Clunes, A is for Acid Best Actress: Yalitza Aparicio, Roma Best Supporting Actor: Rory Cochrane, Hostiles Best Supporting Actress: Marina de Tavira, Roma Best Director: Alfonso Cuaron, Roma Best Screenplay: Anita Doran, The Breadwinner Best Cinematography: Alfonso Cuaron, Roma Best Documentary: No Winner These "awards" are for movies (and only movies) I watched for the first time. Titus - Hopkins, Lange, Cumming, and others do Shakespeare's most brutal play comically.  Tom Segura: Disgraceful - One of the more relatable comics I've seen. Extremely funny.  Marc Maron: End Times Fun - Intelligent comedy at it's finest and funniest.  Jay and Silent Bob Reboot - I love Kevin Smith, but had to turn it off. Pet Semetary (2019) - Whe...