He said what?

Have you ever said something that stopped people in their tracks? Have you ever said something that made complete sense when you thought it, might have made sense after you said it, but still people looked at you as if you just beat up a 6 year old girl in the playground? I have.

I've said stuff I've regretted. I've said stuff that was mean. I've said stuff I truly meant and still wished I hadn't. I've said "I Love You" when I didn't. I've said "I hate you" when I didn't. I've said a lot of things. One thing stands out, and only because of the reaction.

Let me set the scene.

I had just gone back to school and was taking classes at Manhattan College. I had transferred some credits and I believe at the time I was 26. I was in some freshman and sophomore classes with mushy minded teenagers who thought the secret to the universe was Happy Hour at Dorney Malone's. I was taking a sociology class with a professor who was about a year older or younger than me. To be honest, I think after I made this statement she kind of had a crush on me. Which after you hear it will probably trouble you even more.

It was the first or second day of class and we're talking about correlations and the teacher was trying to explain correlations and causation and that not all correlations equal causation. She asked if anyone could give a solid correlation of two things that are always true, but have nothing to do with each other. The classroom became still and you could hear a pin drop. The teacher looked around at the bloodshot eyes and asked again. I raised my hand and she looked appreciatively. I answered, "Rape and Ice Cream Sales." You suddenly heard the sound of air leaving 20+ students lungs. There was a long pause. The teacher smirked, turned to the chalk board and wrote both things down. She asked me to tell the class why this was so and I explained that both are more prevalent in the summer. The class ended and I think it was two or three classes before any girl (and some guys) would sit within five seats of mine, but I had a new fan.

That was about 13 years ago, and to be truthful, when I said it, I had never heard that statement before. As a goof I just googled it, and low and behold there a few mentions of this. Did I say it first? Who knows, but I know that day, there was a class full of people who heard it, who did not know how to handle it. Two years later, people would occasionally remind me of the statement. I just laughed. Then we went for ice cream.