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A Letter to July

Dear July,

You really kicked my emotional ass. You started off with the Fourth of July. A nice affair, sitting on a rooftop, drinking and eating well. Ending with some fireworks, whose fizzling out should have tipped me to what was ahead. You brought my birthday, which wasn't extraordinary, but the well wishes I received were quite nice and appreciated. Your mild weather cost me days at work. You made a friend betray me. You then turned on me and brought on a week like no other. The anniversary of my mother's passing, my good, if not best friend's child having surgery, and the demise of my relationship. You brought me closer to someone who has become a good friend, who has had quite the hectic month them self, but you then ended the month by taking the life of my ex's grandmother. Thankfully, she went peacefully.

As the month rolled on and on, I wondered what I had done wrong. I wondered how my birthday month could be so incredibly lousy. Was this some punishment for an indiscretion in May or June? I did not remember any great month this year. You seemed almost out to get me. I couldn't wait for you to leave. Now you have. I can look back.

I don't look back with any animosity. I reflect and realize it wasn't all that bad. You brought me together with friends on special dates and they shared time with me in good and bad situations. You ended a relationship, but possibly saved a friendship. You got me talking to a friend I had not spoken to in a while who I missed dearly. Especially on Mondays and Fridays. You brought my friend's son out of a dangerous predicament healthy. For that, I am forever indebted. You made me reflect, many times with tears in my eyes, on the wonderful life of my mother. You may even have made others lean over and kiss their moms and say thank you. You gave me a new good friend, who has been very supportive, even while dealing with her own chaotic existence. You took a life, but in the end, is it better to pass gracefully from this life or to suffer and bring sorrow to others.

Maybe you knew all along what you were doing, but some warning would have been nice. I guess in the end. Despite the tears, despite the anxiety, despite the headaches, I do have to thank you. You put my life in perspective and made me appreciate it more. Just do me a favor. Next time could you spread it out a little and give June and August some of the work. I can't take another month like you.

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