I sleep four hours in the morning and about two in the early evening. That's my new sleep schedule. I like it, but I know it needs to end and reality needs to settle in. The reality is the scariest thing, because being behind the eight ball would be a blessing at this point. This is more like a bowling ball. So used to something small coming along and bailing me out temporarily, but it's always been because of who I knew. I feel at times like I don't know anyone anymore. I laid in bed today, thinking about a BBQ. Three people and the best food and drink ever. Not a single thing mattered that day, but the three people there. I think of all three of us and how far different our lives are. Happier, but alone. Free, but limited. Independent, but tied down by routines we've grown used to, neither in a bad way, nor a good. I think about why we were happy back then and why I don't feel that way about other situations. Honestly, when I think about that day and night, it was the most fun I've had in five years, that didn't include intimacy. We'll end on that note, before I truly become depressed.
This was a post I wrote on Facebook after surprisingly not seeing any moaning about the Documentary by Jose Antonio Vargas, titled White People Dayyum! I just scrolled my timeline and not a single white person got their feelings hurt by White People. I unfortunately haven't seen it, but the number of fake accounts that popped up on twitter, tells me it was a damn good show. Here's the thing. If someone of color aka non-white says "White Privilege," are you offended? If you said yes, then you are exhibiting white privilege. It has nothing to do with how hard you work or study, how you stayed out of trouble, because here's the thing, that is entirely the point. Somewhere out there, there are 100 Black, Spanish, Native American, Arab, Asian, who worked and studied as hard as you and never got in trouble, but they don't have what you "earned" or achieved. Stop looking at the one person you know who isn't white that achieved as your benchmark. Loo...
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