I do not ever mock mental health. I do however understand that many serious afflictions, such as depression, anxiety, and panic attacks are catchphrases that garner attention for those who use social media to fulfill some sort of emptiness. This popular device has spilled over into regular relationships as well. The problem is, good people will always reach out. The other problem is, bad people, narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, and those simply so self-consumed that you don't matter, will use your kindness as a weakness, no matter how many times you post a meme warning others not to confuse your kindness as such. To be quite honest, only a borderline psycho or someone with incredibly low self-esteem would even think of posting such nonsense. Which gets me to the title of this blog; Surrounded.
I work with children. This means two things. One, I must be well aware of my own flaws and, most importantly, able to handle them being pointed out, even mocked. I also have to be very aware of others' strengths and weaknesses and realize when they are using manipulation for their own benefit. We'd like to think of children as innocent, but much like domesticated cats, they play to our kindness, but always willing to scratch or bite when they don't get their way. While working with children you also start to recognize repeated behaviors in adults. The ones that are glaring are those behaviors you'd expect from a child. White lies, self-praise, devaluation of others, judging, the simultaneous contrasting views of being superior and feeling life isn't fair, and most of all the need to be worshipped. Important, not accepted or loved, but worshipped. When these behaviors, most often reserved for children and adolescents, carries over into adulthood, it can go one of two ways. It can fester into a personality disorder or, what I find most often, it can create a narcissistic view. Is there a spectrum for narcissism like there is for autism? If not, there should be, because it is so prevalent, it feels as if some of us are surrounded.
If you're like me, you like to talk, and yes, we all like to share about ourselves, but the difference between adults and children, well-adjusted and afflicted, is that we share when asked, not simply to fulfill some self-promoted prophecy of greatness. When we ask someone how they are doing, we do so a gracious reminder of the fact we care about them or are simply interested in knowing they are OK. Those two letters are substantial. Most of the time, we're looking for them or a simple "Good, and yourself?" That is all. Most of us don't have the time or the energy to go through a thorough a well constructed and detailed account of your misery and we're much too kind to interrupt you to remind you that social graces, when put into questions, are rhetorical.
I do not mean to sound as if I've given up on humanity, but I have seen the social contract we all used to have with one another torn to shreds. From personal space to over-sharing, the world has become a place where me, myself, and I have become much more important than love thy neighbor. In today's world, many love those willing to be an audience for their onslaught of self-worship, hoping for something to solidify this feeling of superiority. For some of us, apathy is the tool to slay this pretentious dragon, but we're always worried that we may do this to those in need, so we hesitate, allowing ourselves to be used as tools for their game. It's a game that breaks us down, makes us feel weak, and in the end, we're often left wondering why we invested so much time on another's person's whims. The majority of those out there may or may not need or use, but at times, like I said, I feel I'm surrounded by them. Those people whose mental and emotional needs come at a cost to our own lives. When it is children, I know how to handle it, how to carry that burden, for them and for myself. But, when it is adults displaying these types of behavior, I am growing weary. I do not have time in my life for all of the "You have no idea" people, and to be quite honest, I have plenty of time for all those who are willing to tell me about their day and sincerely interested in mine.
I work with children. This means two things. One, I must be well aware of my own flaws and, most importantly, able to handle them being pointed out, even mocked. I also have to be very aware of others' strengths and weaknesses and realize when they are using manipulation for their own benefit. We'd like to think of children as innocent, but much like domesticated cats, they play to our kindness, but always willing to scratch or bite when they don't get their way. While working with children you also start to recognize repeated behaviors in adults. The ones that are glaring are those behaviors you'd expect from a child. White lies, self-praise, devaluation of others, judging, the simultaneous contrasting views of being superior and feeling life isn't fair, and most of all the need to be worshipped. Important, not accepted or loved, but worshipped. When these behaviors, most often reserved for children and adolescents, carries over into adulthood, it can go one of two ways. It can fester into a personality disorder or, what I find most often, it can create a narcissistic view. Is there a spectrum for narcissism like there is for autism? If not, there should be, because it is so prevalent, it feels as if some of us are surrounded.
If you're like me, you like to talk, and yes, we all like to share about ourselves, but the difference between adults and children, well-adjusted and afflicted, is that we share when asked, not simply to fulfill some self-promoted prophecy of greatness. When we ask someone how they are doing, we do so a gracious reminder of the fact we care about them or are simply interested in knowing they are OK. Those two letters are substantial. Most of the time, we're looking for them or a simple "Good, and yourself?" That is all. Most of us don't have the time or the energy to go through a thorough a well constructed and detailed account of your misery and we're much too kind to interrupt you to remind you that social graces, when put into questions, are rhetorical.
I do not mean to sound as if I've given up on humanity, but I have seen the social contract we all used to have with one another torn to shreds. From personal space to over-sharing, the world has become a place where me, myself, and I have become much more important than love thy neighbor. In today's world, many love those willing to be an audience for their onslaught of self-worship, hoping for something to solidify this feeling of superiority. For some of us, apathy is the tool to slay this pretentious dragon, but we're always worried that we may do this to those in need, so we hesitate, allowing ourselves to be used as tools for their game. It's a game that breaks us down, makes us feel weak, and in the end, we're often left wondering why we invested so much time on another's person's whims. The majority of those out there may or may not need or use, but at times, like I said, I feel I'm surrounded by them. Those people whose mental and emotional needs come at a cost to our own lives. When it is children, I know how to handle it, how to carry that burden, for them and for myself. But, when it is adults displaying these types of behavior, I am growing weary. I do not have time in my life for all of the "You have no idea" people, and to be quite honest, I have plenty of time for all those who are willing to tell me about their day and sincerely interested in mine.
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