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Engagement Rings

A man meets a woman, they fall in love and he wants to spend the rest of his life with her. That is beautiful, but before he asks for her hand in marriage, he must do the right thing and ask her parents for permission. That to is beautiful. Then again, if they said no, he's going to do it anyway, so really, what's the point? Kind of funny that in a few years he'll probably be on both knees begging either forgiveness or praying that she will find her way into the rear orifice of a wood-chipper. Before he does any of this though, he must buy THE RING!

These days the proposal ain't mean a thing if their ain't got some bling involved. Women have become so obsessed with having a nicer, bigger, shinier ring than their friends that guys basically mortgage their future on these pieces of gaudy trash. Years ago, the proposal itself was the important part of the agreement. Now it's the ring. It's because television has made believe that fairy tales can come true. I have overheard many a woman repeat the phrase "two month's salary" when talking about their hood ornament sized ring that adorns their tiny hand. Does anyone realize that the rule was made up by DeBeers to spruce up sales? This rule is so incredibly ridiculous, especially in times when so many are living paycheck-to-paycheck. Even more ridiculous is that we Americans don't seem to mind that South Africans have been enslaved, maimed, and in many cases killed over the mining of these diamonds. But as long as it looks good, out of sight out of mind.

The thing that makes me sick is that now women are telling their soon to be lap dog husbands exactly what they want. Even going with them to pick the rings out. Where is the love, the romance and the element of surprise in this? Isn't the act of proposing supposed to be somewhat romantic. I think saying "I love you, but I'm now in debt up to my eyeballs, but now we can discuss the 200-person guest list," is a little less romantic than say "Will you marry me, accept my flaws, realize that I would love to give you the most expensive ring in the world, but let's work together in creating as perfect a life as we can?" sounds a little more romantic.

Let's not kid ourselves, getting married is a contract. It's two people combining in an effort to grow together, have a family, and combine their resources to provide for this family and live comfortably. Starting out $10-20,000 in the hole before the wedding & honeymoon is crazy. This money could be a down payment on a house, so that you don't get back from Hawaii and have to turn the radio up real high in your parent's basement so you and your new bride can do the horizontal hokie pokie. I just don't understand how that ring makes any difference?

On your wedding day, you exchange rings and that is the symbol of your bond. The ring itself is a symbol of eternity and perfection. There is no beginning or end, but sadly, most marriages do have a beginning and an end. Guess what fellas, if you're not the female, you don't get that big ass diamond back. Even worse, she will sell it for quite a pretty penny, and you will still have to pay alimony, child support, and spend eternity kicking yourself in the head. Worst part, is that most of you will meet someone again and do the whole thing over.

I know nothing is going to change, because in the movies and on TV, when the guy gets down on one knee and flips open that box, the diamond is bright, the ring is perfect and the tears in the woman's eyes make everyone watching wish that was them. It's a special moment. And then we break to commercial and see the Kay Jewelers commercial and the $999 engagement ring and every woman in the world says "I'd kill him." A freaking grand and people are complaining. If I was a guy and a girl got down on her knee and said "Here's a thousand dollars, wanna get hitched?" I'd take the money!

If you are lucky enough to have a ring that your mother or grandmother left you, and you have a truly loving fiance who is more than happy to accept this subtle family heirloom, you are so far ahead of the game, you don't know. Just remember, that isn't your ring anymore, so make this work. We live in superficial times. We live in a time where keeping up with the Joneses is priority number one for many of us. We need a bigger car, a bigger house, a nicer lawn, and of course a bigger ring. Because after all, we all know that is the true meaning of love, isn't it?

Comments

  1. Hey Hopper...Couldn't agree w/ you more
    My wife didn't want a diamond ring...we got her a simple ring w/ her birthstone..
    and of course no big 20,000 dollar affair..just a small wedding on the beach.....

    ReplyDelete

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