In the past few days the internet is abuzz with stories about a petition that was sent to the producers of Sesame Street asking that Ernie and Bert take part in a same sex wedding ceremony. Everyone is up in arms over this and there seems to be an underlying feeling that little kids should not be exposed to this. The producers have stated that their reason is very simple; Ernie and Bert aren’t gay, they are just best friends who happen to live together. It’s a very convenient answer, but I’m more concerned with the general feeling, one that is shared by many of my friends, even those in favor of same sex marriage. Sesame Street has spent the last 35+ years teaching kids lesson about understanding and acceptance, but apparently the line is drawn with homosexuality and marriage. While I’m not saying Ernie and Bert should get married, I do think it might be great if the most viewed children’s learning show would stay true to the world we live in. Children will see gays, meet gays, and quite possibly they may grow up to be gay. Shouldn’t that demographic, which is far from a small number of people, be represented to children? Plus, what are the lessons that we’ve really learned from Sesame Street? Some are subliminal, some, not so much. Join me as I take you to Sesame Street…as I see it.
The main star is Kermit the Frog. Kermit is kind of nerd, but he has a heart of gold. He’s taught a lot, but what’s his greatest contribution to society. Well, he’s dating a pig, so he teaches us two things. One is that there is someone out there for everyone. The second is the wonderful world of interracial relationships. Forget race, he’s dating outside of his species that bestiality practicing maniac. Kermit not only allowed someone from another race to use the same bathroom, but he banged her in the first stall. He’s a true mixed relationship pioneer.
Then there is Kermit’s gal pal, Miss Piggy. Aside from liking the green meat, she’s also proof that being a bitch gets you what you want. The real lesson she teaches is quite simple. Bitches will let themselves go the second you commit to them. No matter how beautiful she may think she is, she’s a fat bitch and she doesn’t care.
Then the messages get weird. You have Big Bird, who is not only freakishly large, but is completely delusional. He has a make believe friend who just happens to be a Wooly Mammoth. So basically it’s OK to spend your entire life seeing things, but there is no mention of the wonders of Prozac on this street. You have Oscar the Grouch. Of course he’s a grouch, he’s fucking homeless. The guy lives in a garbage can and everyone picks on him. So kids, it’s OK to make fun of those less fortunate. You live on one street and you don’t have some charity event for the sad sack? Everyone always loved The Count, but anyone growing up in an urban area realized that he’s either a pimp or the creepy old guy with the trench coat that never leaves the house during the day. There’s Grover, that little blue freak. He’s obviously a speed freak. That guy does more blow than Tony Montana on a weekend bender. Cookie Monster obviously shows that eating to forget your problems is the way to go. There’s nothing like addiction being instilled in you. And then there’s Elmo. The obnoxious, mind splitting annoyance that shows kids, as long as you look cute, you can pretty much get away with anything.
So there you have it. For almost four decades Sesame Street has taught us to be accepting of every character flaw imaginable. It showed us that mental illness and addiction is normal and to be tolerated, but being homeless is worthy of ridicule. It showed us that we should be accepting of everyone who’s annoying, bitchy or selfish, because that’s how you get your way. All these negative traits are hailed, but apparently homosexuality is taboo on Sesame Street. Mr. Hooper might agree. Mr. Hopper doesn’t.
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