Guilty Pleasures

We all have those off guilty pleasures.  Whether it’s the pregnant woman requesting pickles and peanut butter or the (straight) guy who secretly loves Barbara Streisand, none of us are immune.  Some guilty pleasures stay with us forever.  I still like Hanson and the Spice Girls.  I still thoroughly enjoy watching Deep Blue Sea, even though it sucks.  I like Nagel’s artwork, even though it resembles everything I hate about the 80’s.  There are just some things we love that can’t be explained.  Like Ronald Reagan.  Some people think he’s a great president.  Less people understand the definition of great.  That’s an argument for another day.

I heard the phrase earlier today and started thinking about my current guilty pleasures.  Some might not be viewed as guilty, but for me, there is that slight bit of embarrassment in acknowledging my affection for them.  So here they are.

Taylor Swift:  Young, absolutely adorable and extremely talented.  There is something about her look that gets me.  She’s the definition of cute.  She’s beautiful, but somehow pulls it off without exuding overt sexiness, which lets her display this innocence that is so genuine, it shines through when she sings.  The fact she writes all her songs is also amazing, because it shows she’s mature beyond her years.  Her song Mean, about people who have been put down or bullied, is a touching song about people ignoring those who look down on them and how they can overcome it and be successful.  In this age of cyber bullying, gay bashing and overall bigotry, this song and its singer are refreshing changes.

Red Onions:  OK, now an onion might not seem like a guilty pleasure, but I find myself adding it to almost everything.  Recently, due to a plethora of reasons, I’ve been eating nothing but veggies and bread for the most part.  In part it’s a diet, but not completely.  My sandwich of choice has been lettuce, tomato, red onion (and lots of it) and some sort of cheddar or pepper jack cheese.  To this I add a little balsamic vinaigrette, Sriracha and a little mayo and Dijon mustard to the bread.  I also occasionally add avocado slices to it, but those green, buttery beauties don’t last long in my home.  There is just something about those onions that puts it together.  What makes them even more of a guilty pleasure is the fact I’m not supposed to eat onions due to my gall stones?

Master Chef:  I hate reality TV shows, but I do love cooking shows, regardless of how silly they may be.  A lot of people think Gordon Ramsey is a dick, but after reading about him, you realize he is simply someone who lives for food and wants others to experience it the way it is supposed to be prepared.  I saw an interview with Joe Bastianich, who is also on the show, and he said that he is almost ill when people tell him they love wine and then rattle off wines that most in the know would deem dishwater.  As someone who grew up around fine wines, I empathize and understand his and Ramsey’s arguments.  Along with Bastianich and Ramsey, Graham Elliot is not only the nicest of the three judges, but seems to be the most supportive.

Stop & Shop:  Nobody truly likes to go shopping, but sometimes it’s not so bad.  I usually like to shop a little later at night, but sometimes it’s nice to go in the middle of the day.  I’m actually a little frugal when I shop and try to limit my spending on things that are on sale, because I know the other items I usually buy will be on sale a week or two later.  It’s a little odd, but there is something about seeing the amount saved section of my receipt that makes me feel good. $6-$7 doesn’t sound like much, but for some reason that little line on the bill makes me very happy.  Savings are nice, but it’s definitely the second reason for why perusing aisles has become a guilty pleasure.  The number one reason is a very human reason.  At any given time, a supermarket is loaded with beautiful women of all ages.  Depending on the time of day, the outfits can be very different, but for the most part, one of the biggest differences between men and women is how much they care about their appearance when it comes to doing something as mundane as grocery shopping.  The other day I wandered in on a Friday night around 8pm.  There were 20-somethings buying wine coolers, wearing little black dresses.  Then there are the home from work, single 30-something business women, form fitting suit jackets with black skirts and high heels.  And then of course there are the stay at home moms.  Sometimes they saunter around in skin tight jeans or maybe a tennis dress.  My personal favorite is the “just woke up look.”  I love it when a woman is confident enough in herself to wear no makeup and some sweats, but does show just enough to get noticed.  I should note that I do have morals and do not actively pursue married women, but I do find it funny how flirty they can be, even with a schlep like myself.  I’ve also found that women tend to flirt with you more based on the contents of your cart.  Guys who are all pretty, but have a basket filled with beers and microwave pizzas don’t have a chance.  I remember one day there was a guy in front of me who was very good looking, but had the wrong shopping cart contents.  The stunning woman behind me actually made the comment “what a waste.”  I asked what she meant and she said “I need a man, not a boy.”  While nothing happened, because I have less rap than an Amish radio station, the woman did give a little pat to my ego when she told me she felt it was obvious, I was taken, even when I assured her I wasn’t.

Food Photography:  There’s something about a perfectly photographed whole fish or a juicy rib eye that makes my mouth water.  Photographs of food do more for me these days than other things you might expect.  Maybe it’s because I’ve never had a supermodel, but have indulged in a wonderfully briny oyster or a perfectly grilled sea scallop.  A picture of a Lamborghini doesn’t have the same effect on me as the bursting colors of a Greek salad or the perfect pesto sauce.  Now don’t get me wrong, while checking out Facebook posts, there are many friends of mine who post pictures of their glistening tan bodies, adorned with less fabric than is worn in the bedroom.  This is wonderful, but there’s nothing I look forwards to more than my friend George’s restaurant specials pictures.  Aside from the phallic representation of the 12” Kobe beef hot dog special.  I’ll stick to the rabbit, the duck and the numerous seafood dishes that make me wish I was rich and could fly to Key West for dinner, drinks and a sunset.

We all have those guilty pleasures and those are my current vices.  What are yours?  And George, please keep those pictures posted.  Food porn is so in!