My Dream Home

As people who know me fairly well have probably heard, I live in the world's smallest apartment.  I absolutely hate it, but not for the reasons you might think.  I do not hate it for it's minuscule size.  I won't go into the actual size, because I don't want the focus of this little story to be bogged down by people's amazement on how I haven't gone out of my mind, but let's just say, I can literally reach my fridge and TV while laying on my bed and a walk to the bathroom take less than five steps. Yes really.

So the other day I'm looking at a website that featured micro-houses and then some other small home sites and it got me thinking to what I wanted from a home.  In the early 70's my parents bought some land in Andes, NY and with basically no experience at all, they invited some more handy friends away for the weekend to build a house. They slept in tents and started construction on the house they knew they wanted.  The basic cabin was one large room with a ceiling that slanted from low to high from back to front.  The front of the home was an L-shape that featured floor to ceiling windows that looked over a hilly meadow down to our pond.  The L was a nook for which was perfectly sized to hold nothing but a queen sized bed.  There was a stove in the middle of the cabin which heated it in the winter and a small kitchen area.  Oh, did I mention there was no electricity?  Across from the master bed there was a single bed against the wall with a large window on the side.  There was a back room, which featured a bunk bed and some shelving.  That was the cabin.  Simple and plain. Our dining room table still serves as my father's kitchen table. A great three fold table that served as my TV stand for many years.  We had no plumbing either and moon lit walks to the outhouse were sometimes scary for newcomers.  We washed in the sometimes frigid water which spilled out from our pond and sustained ourselves quite a bit on our garden.  Well whatever the deer and rabbits were willing to leave us. My parents sold it for what at the time was a huge profit and regretted it every day after.  The house, to them, was perfect.  So what would my perfect house be like.

First off, my house would be small.  It would have to all lay on one floor, because my knees simply can't take stairs anymore.  It wouldn't need tons of property, but my desire would be to have large sliding glass doors, with a small deck attached pointing west, so that every night I might catch some magical sunset.  The front, would have a porch, with at least two chairs, so myself and whoever might care to join, could sit on a rainy day and enjoy the sounds of water hitting the roof.  One of life's true simple pleasure is sitting protected with a steady rain, sipping a hot cup of coffee on a cool spring or autumn morning, paper in hand, with the travesties of the world seemingly so far away.

The interior would be very quaint.  I would love to have a kitchen, big enough to be able to indulge in my passion for attempting to cook gourmet meals, but small enough to enjoy a cozy breakfast for two on a Sunday morning in December.  Ideally a short strip with counters on both sides, one with the sink and oven, the other counter space to work, opening up at the end, to a breakfast nook with a built in booth, a large window to let the sun in on those mornings or the stars during dinner.  The dining room would be small, opening up into the living room, if it ever needed to be adjusted for a group.  The details of the living room are unimportant.  A large round table surrounded by couches and chairs.  Hell the room could be round for all I care.  My biggest pet peeve is everyones desire to have a television be the focal point of their living room.  This frat boy mentality only works well if that is your desired guest list, but my desire would be to have a setup where nobody is on the end or in the corner, but everyone is part of the circle.  Cheese, dips, pate and charcuterie donning the center on a table or more likely a giant lazy Susan, like those you find in some Chinese restaurants.  The walls would be adorned with bookshelves and bright vibrant paintings celebrating life. A hidden stereo would play on a surround sound system when needed.  The room would also house a fireplace.

The master bedroom would be simple.  A bed, cut into the walls, much like my parents house, with walk in closets on either side. My view from beneath the sheets would be of a magnificent fireplace, in between two large windows. Who needs a TV in bed, when you have a fire to look at? I don't take baths often, but would love to go a little upscale on the bathroom, with one of those showers where jets hit you from all areas. There is nothing better than a good shower at the end of the day or to start the day, although I do find them so relaxing, that on many weekends, I will shower to get ready to go out and find myself asleep within ten minutes of getting out. There would also be two smallish guest rooms, with the bare necessities.  Queen size bed, small dresser and access to the guest bath from either side.  I would also want a small office  Nothing more than a desk for my laptop and printer with a window to get some natural light.

So far, this sounds like a fairly boring house.  It's probably no more than 800 sq. feet.  Below the home however is where I too would be greedy.  The basement would cover the same square footage that the rest of the house covered, but there would be three very distinct sections.  There would be a laundry room, which would have a shoot, where I could drop laundry from the bedroom down into a laundry basket. There would be a dumb waiter so that I might deliver snacks from the kitchen to any guests who might be present for a card games, to shoot some pool or watch the game.  I would have televisions on the walls on one side, with ample seating for the guys to come over for a game, but on the other side, I would have an enclosed room with nothing but huge pillow chairs and large television for my own mini movie theater.  The seating would be limited, being that I absolutely abhor watching movies with other people, but do realize cuddling with that someone special, while watching a film is another of life's simple pleasures.  A small half bath would also reside downstairs.

I don't need much in terms of a backyard, but if it was a more rural setting, a subtle hill leading to a pond might be nice, but if I was to be in a more urban or suburban setting, I think I might like a stone patio, with two round picnic tables, a grill and some grass area for kids to play.

To be honest, even in my own dream, I've gone further than I wanted.  The reality is that I don't need the guest rooms or the study, the massive downstairs or the mini-theater.  I don't need two fireplaces or even the dining room.  The times I'm happiest is when I'm with one person who is special or the handful who mean the most to me and for that, I only need a small space, because I feel those who need so much space to entertain are only entertaining the fantasy that so many people matter.  I know who does and seating is limited.