Hop's Thoughts

Society is controlled. We're controlled by our laws, our religious beliefs, our own moral compass, and the expectations others hold for us and we hold for them. The concept of treat others as you would want to be treated  sounds commonsensical, but we live, at least us Americans, live in an egotistical, narcissistic, and materialistic world. Some call it capitalism, but there's much more to it than simply the economic foundation that has created us. Nevertheless, we all, regardless of where we pull these rules, we must abide by our own set of standards. Some may sound silly, but below are a list of rules I live by, all of which I feel puts me in the minority. Be Punctual I try, to the best of my ability to be early when possible, but tardiness is a habit that I try to avoid at all costs. Especially in the workplace. Never leave dirty dishes in the sink This one may sound comical or irrelevant in the grand scheme of things, but it's also the one I find puts me in the...

Yesterday, I heard so many utter the question, "Is it Friday yet?" I smiled, pretended to laugh, all the while feeling pained by this oh so common cliche. Later in the day, I watched a movie and a man questioned a woman's choice to work where she did. A sketchy, brothel-type place, where it appeared as though the women simply entertained, platonically I assume. She responded that the job brought her happiness, each and every day, because she got to do the things she loved, to sing and dance. I thought about the man's saga, one which saw him give up his calling, because he no longer had a love for it. He lived a much simpler life, caring for his son and running a tiny store. He had happiness, but the only joy was his love for his son. The woman had a love for others, but also had something for herself. It's an important distinction. Yesterday, I was sick. I don't get sick often and I've been handling this slight cold, but yesterday, for all intent and pur...

Remember, as a kid, how funny it was to mimic someone? You knew it frustrated others, especially adults, but you got such a belly laugh out of it. Then, when it was done to you, the frustration grew so quickly, you screamed, cried, maybe even lashed out and hit. It was one of those things so many of us did and had done to us that dissolved early on in our childhood. By our teens, there was nothing worse than being seen as someone who emulated another, at least obviously. As we get older, to vocally mimic someone would be seen as weird. To copy mannerisms, phrases, and actions would be absurd. While I've written about not being petty, ever, I found myself in a situation the other day, where another's grunts, groans, and weight-of-world antics so infuriating, that I wondered where someone could learn to project such hardship doing mundane tasks. Weightlifting grunts coming from cleaning dishes. Moving furniture moans from placing a spoon in a drawer. Drawn out sighs, as if the re...

I have had insomnia for so long, it has become the norm. Between the stress that caused it initially to the financial woes, much self-inflicted, to the loneliness that is my existence, the night is when I have always had the most energy, whether in movement or in the mind. Lately, it's a combination of my schedule, often my cat, Swag's schedule, and my odd work schedule. While I'm working more, often seven days a week, the hours aren't steady, often not similar, and my tiny social life has made me feel, for the first time in almost two decades, exhausted. I blame nobody but myself. I rarely feel physically exhausted, but mentally, I feel like a triathlete. I'm consumed by thoughts of the past, poor decisions, and good ones, but mostly I'm faced with the lack of change. I recently read a quote that stated that if we refuse to change what makes us unhappy, it becomes a choice. While I agree in theory, there is, at times, the simple act of survival we must accept...

Four years ago today, I made the decision to go meat-free. If you knew me before this decision, you'd be quite shocked, as I was known for being a true carnivore. Burgers with bacon, thick steaks dripping with their juices, medium-rare pork chops, loads of fish, and pretty much any and all exotic meats I could get my hands on. I was overweight, but internally I was technically healthy. So I thought. Six months into my journey, I started to feel terrible. Skeptics pointed to the lack of protein in my diet, but I was definitely charting this course with a nutritional app called myfitnesspal.com and knew my protein intake was right where it needed to be. I was taking a multivitamin for the first time in my life and making sure to "eat right." The only problem was, I wasn't. I wasn't only eating unhealthy, I was also contradicting the entire moral and ethical reason for my choice by continuing to eat dairy and eggs. I also felt bloated and had begun to gain some weigh...

"A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives." - Jack Roosevelt Robinson This quote, attributed to and displayed on baseball and civil rights pioneer, Jackie Robinson's tombstone, is one of my favorite quotes. It has long served as a personal motto and reminder of why I do what I do, despite the lack of money or acknowledgment I may receive from others. Over the years, I'd like to think my life has been lived in a manner that directly reflects this quote and its meaning. Yesterday, before work, I visited my old job. While my new job is quite similar, there are obviously differences, the main one being, a completely different set of kids. The kids I was visiting were kids I saw every weekday, with the exception of a few weeks each summer, for two years. A tiny fraction of my life, but quite a large part of theirs. I've thought about all of them over the last two months, some of them quite a bit. Yesterday, however, was the first time I wo...

I have found that most people live in mirror-less homes. They wake up, feeling as if they are the only people who must rise out of bed, go through whatever routine or ritual they need to get ready, and then make sure everyone who is around them is fully aware of the burdens they are about to embark on. The rest of us? Well. despite what we may have to do, endure, maybe even overcome, we just don't understand.  Somehow, no matter how many hours of travel, work, chores, and personal errands we must do, they view their time being used as integral to the Earth's continued spin on its axis. The sun rises with these people, despite the rest of us watching it do so, while they slumber, awaiting the ring of an alarm. They worked all day, despite their work clothes rotating and drying at 6 PM, while we're just getting home. They take two hours to cook an instant meal and the TV runs, while we're finally fixing our dinner. Then, of course, there are our flaws. Our flaws are a...

"The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism." - Norman Vincent Peale  Since the advent of Facebook, the concept of self-love has become blurred. Every one of us has a value and this value isn't based on how we view ourselves, but how our selves create a better life for those around us, thus, in turn, creating a better life for ourselves. For well-adjusted people, self-worth comes from the respect, adulation, and acknowledgment we garner from others, while never compromising our values. As time goes on, we no longer need these things from others, because we've created a world in which this is the norm. This is not to say these things do not continue or that we don't appreciate them, but we become accustomed to doing those things which bring others, and ourselves, joy and contentment. Those around us also become accustomed to our behaviors. It's important to realize, we can not love another until we love our...

I'm becoming obsessed with the psychology of humans. Why is it that cats, dogs, and anything else we may call pets can adapt to our lives, breaks in routine, and our silly habits and rituals, like daylight savings, while we can't handle the smallest mandatory changes in our behaviors or schedules? I'd like to think I see myself as I truly am; a chameleon. I can adapt my behavior, my conversations, and my emotions to any and all situations. I know working with kids has allowed me to step outside of myself and cater to them, but I also believe it's taught me to do this with adults. I should add, being a lifelong barfly has allowed me to do this too. I'm always amazed at those who frequent watering holes daily who cannot adapt to the conversation and always go back to what they are comfortable speaking about. I feel this is the norm. I fall back to my go-to excuse and will blame, in part, social media. When we're allowed to only speak of ourselves, without inte...

We all have times in our lives when things get tough. Often, how we handle these events shape us. I've often thought about how losing a sister (a reversed adoption choice), the addition of my wonderful brother, my jobs, my ups and downs, and my recent surgery has made me what I am. I left out the sickness and the death of my mother, not because it didn't shape me, but because it is too important to be lumped into a group. The aftermath of her death is still shaping me to this day. There are others I know and I wonder how those who treat daily life as a burden, despite no trauma or true weight on their shoulders, handle big things. It is these people, filled with cliched lines about their struggles and the need for constant approval,  acknowledgment, and sympathy (these people do not believe one could be empathetic, because they are so self-absorbed and delusional, they truly believe nobody in history has ever faced and persevered through what they've experienced, even if ...